[quote="tony77, post:1, topic:310938"]
I recently separated from my wife of ten years. She went on holidays with the kids to our home country and had our last born baptized without my consent.
I strongly opposed the baptism on the ground that I wanted to be present. We have four children and I have been present to all the other children baptisms. After my initial opposition, she did not mention the baptism again and to my great surprise, she went ahead with it anyway, she just informed me that she had our youngest child baptised
So, you are not distraught because the vhild was baptized, but only because you were not there. You say that the child is already 2 years old. Are you aware that the Church urges us to have our children baptized within the first few weeks after their birth? So, why was this child not baptized before. Further delaying until you could be there is a further injustice to the child.
I am very distraught by this obviously.
My question are: Can this baptism be valid without the father's presence, my knowledge or consent?
While it is usual for the father to be present, it is not necessary. Your absence at the baptism has absolutely no effect on its validity. Your wife should, of course, not done this in secrecy, but that does not effect the validity of the baptism, either.
If still valid, do I have grounds to have that ceremony annuled or not officially recognised by the Catholic church?
*Why would you want to have a valid baptism annulled? It would seem, just from anger at your wife. This is unworthy of you. *
We are separated but still legally married and our youngest son is two years old. I would like a baptism where both of us are present
While this would have been the ideal, it ust did not happen. You need to get over this. Forgive your wife and rejoice that your child is now a child of God through baptism. Perhaps you should consider confessing your anger about this and also, should you have been instrumental in the inordinate delay in baptizing the child until he is 2 years old, confess you part in this.