Baby shower guest list etiquette


It has been requested that I compile a guest list for my baby shower. Of course I plan on having the hosts invite nearby family and friends, but I am not sure if it is appropriate to send an invitation to people who live far away. I think there are family members who would like to send a gift if they knew where we registered, but does sending an invitation seem like just asking for gifts?

My mom says it’s ok to invite out-of-staters, but I’m still unsure! Help!


I don’t know but I’ve never recieved a baby shower invite from out-of-state friends and relatives. It does seem like a gift request. I think sending a baby announcement at the time of your child’s birth would be more appropriate for those who would obviously be to far away to attend your shower.


You are a maried woman having a baby- and with good instincts!:slight_smile: Mom could be wrong.

IF the far-away one is somebody to whom you are very close, you can send them an invitation without worrying that she thinks you expect a gift. You can always enclose a note saying, “Of course we don’t expect you to come all this way! I just wanted you to have this as a keepsake!”

Everybody else- Yes, it will seem like a gift solicitation.


I have sent, and have recieved, shower invitations for/from out of town relatives and friends. It’s really not as big of a deal as you may think. I’m sure that your mom has recieved many out-of-towners invitations and, as a mother, believes it’s okay to reciprocate.


I’ve recently been organizing a surprise baby shower for my SIL (our husbands are brothers). I contacted her sister to get an invite list of their family who should be invited. Her sister gave me several people who live out of state or very far away, but I sent them invites anyway. In my mind, it’s not about the gift, it’s about letting people know that they’re thought of and that you want them with you for special events. Even if they can’t come, I think most people will probably appreciate being invited. And as far as gifts, if they’re special enough to you that you’d invite them (regardless of where they live) then they were probably already planning to give you a gift, you know? :wink: :smiley:

By the way, why do you have to come up with the guest list? It seems like whoever is throwing the shower for you should be the one to do that.


Thanks for the replies so far! It always helps to have more than one person’s perspective.

Good point! I think it is mostly because they don’t know the names/addresses of my friends or family on my husband’s side. It was just easier to ask me than my husband or mother-in-law!


our girls live in 3 different states, and their cousins live in 4 more, so we have virtual showers, with on-line registry and gifting, also play the games, guess baby weight and other activities on the net

we have done this 3 times and everyone loves it


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