Baby who I mourn


I had a miscarriage almost two years after I married my husband.
I have a beautiful daugther now. I was not a christian then, or really now officially. But, now that I do know what I do, I feel like God will send me to hell because I did not have a burial for my baby that died.
Please pray I can have peace.


**[FONT=Franklin Gothic Medium][FONT=Georgia][FONT=Franklin Gothic Medium][FONT=Georgia]†JMJTJ†

I am sorry for your loss!
I too had a miscarriage, and my daughter lost her firstborn at 5 months gestation.

Depending on how far along you are when you iscarry is a factor.
I did not bury my child; I was 3 months along.
We did bury my grandson.
Like you, I did not have total comprehension when I miscarried either, though it is more common to have a burial at 5 months gestation plus, when the baby is considered to be viable.

YOU WILL NOT GO TO HELL; you acted according to your knowledge at that time!!

I hope you will speak to a priest &/or get counseling so that you will be at peace.

You will be in my prayers.

Eternal God, in whom mercy is endless and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible, look kindly upon us, and increase Your mercy in us, so that in difficult moments we might not despair, nor become despondent, but with great confidence, submit ourselves to Your Holy Will, which is Love and Mercy itself. Amen

***God bless you †*[/FONT][/FONT][/FONT]



Though I can never understand your loss or your feelings at this point in time, I can assure you that God loves you and will surely forgive you for anything that you are truly repentant of. I pray that you may be encouraged and strengthened, and that you will be blessed beyond measure in your life as a mother.


I am still not a christian, so I am trying to see what offenses I have made against God, against Jesus Christ.
I wish I had felt him, at that time to know what I do now- that my baby should have been buried, and I should have been a christian, and well- should have and could have is where I am.
I am so wanting to be a christian. And now, after spending time trying to support pro-life causes (the reason I came here) I am feeling like I am never going to be a catholic because I did not know, I could have done something- but maybe not? Maybe I could not have done a thing anyway not being a catholic.?
I have no idea.
I am just feeling like Jesus should send me to hell.


Dear Notsmart,

We are all in need of a Savior; we have all offended the Holy Trinity by our sins. But Jesus Christ came to die for our sins, and He rose again. That is the message of the cross…the essence of Christianity. I urge you to talk to a priest about this as soon as you can.

As far as your loss, I am so deeply sorry. I will be praying for you and for your baby. :crossrc:


Thank you all, for praying for me. For us.



I thought life began at conception, and well I guess it’s 5 months now according to the church. I will have to stop wasting time where I do then.



Where did you read this? I’ve never heard that. :confused:


Life DOES begin at conception; it is the medical community that determined viability is at 5 months gestation.

In the case of my miscarriage at 3 months the baby’s body was not distinguishable in the tissue and blood I passed.
Had my baby been formed,I would have had a burial.

With my grandson, he was a fully formed stillborn baby that we buried.

Please speak to a priest about your particular circumstances so that you will be at peace.

Forgiveness and mercy is never denied those who have true remorse or who have acted without full knowledge.


Praying very hard for you!


I too had 2 miscarriages, and only through a friend and a terrific Priest were able to have burials for my children, both of whom were only 6 weeks. However, this was a very rare situation where a Priest went way out of his way to make the arrangements to have a full burial. The burial is not nearly as important as Baptism.

Maybe someone here knows the exact document, where Pope Benedict XVI wrote on this issue. But the gist is for babies who have died prior to birth, either through miscarriage or abortion, can be Baptised through desire. You see, God exists outside of time, as he is the One who created time. So, now that you know what you know, you would want your child to be Baptised. You are now sorry for not having your child buried. God takes your sorrow and your desire and surpasses time to instill the Graces on your child. Your sorrow and new desire are a beautiful tribute and gift to your child. Cast all doubt and fear away, bathe in the Mercy of Christ, and give Him thanks for the child who is now with Him.

Remember too, God’s commandment for a child is to honor his father and his mother. In Heaven all persons are perfect, and as such obey God’s law perfectly. Your child is in heaven, and he or she is now praying for you before God’s throne, in honor of you. So ask your child to intercede for you, so you can pass through the guilt and sadness, and come into full union with Jesus through His Church.

I know this is a tough time, but I will keep you in my prayers, and best of all your child is keeping you in theirs.


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