Bachelor Party - Prayer Request


#1

Hello All!

I will be getting married in 3 weeks. My fiance is headed out of town for his Bachelor Party. His friends are very persuasive and into things like strip clubs, etc.

I ask that everyone who is interested to pray for him that the Holy Spirit will be with him on his trip and that the Lord may give him strength to stand up to his friends when such temptations are there.

Thanks to everyone in advance for your prayers!


#2

Ohhhh.:eek:

I can remember when my DH went on his. He and his friends were all into the strip clubs. I knew thats where he was going. I just made sure that he knew this was his bachelor party and next time one of his friends got married he couldn’t go because he was no longer a bachelor. :smiley: It only caused one problem down the line when one of his good friends got married. I asked him if he would want me going to look at naked guys. He said he didn’t care. :rolleyes:

Good luck. I know how you will feel this weekend. Try not to think about it. Hopfully they will just go to a casino somewhere.


#3

I will definitely pray for you and for your fiance and his purity this weekend!

Thankfully, DH and his friends were not into this. Instead, they went to Dave and Busters and ate lots of food and played lots of games. The night before the wedding we had second bachelor/bachelorette parties, and the guys all sat in the hotel and played poker.


#4

I will certainly offer a prayer for you.

And if you want an (unmarried) male’s perspective on the bachelor party thing … I just don’t get it, and I never have.

I get having a party with your friends and having a big send off of your “bachelor years”, 'cos let’s face it, most of us had a good time at university and the friendships and experiences forged in those young adult years when we are first out on our own are usually pretty unforgettable. So having a blow out with one’s friends to close that stage of one’s life and usher in a new and better one seems like a fine idea to me.

But the strippers and other nonsense?

I have had to endure my share of bachelor parties and my friends always knew where I stood on this stuff. They gave me grief and “rode” me about it, sure, but it never mattered. At the first one, for my university flatmate, I left the room and went into another room and stood there with my drink watching television while the stripper was doing her bit in the sitting room.

But the stripper didn’t realise why I had gone and when my friends started chanting my name she came running into the room where I was with one of my friends (who was a bit on the drunk side shall we say) behind her, laughing. I wish I had a photo of the expression that I must have had on my face when I looked at her, because she just stopped dead in her tracks, turned around, grabbed my friend by the elbow and pulled him out of the room saying “leave him alone. Let him be.” :stuck_out_tongue:

I just can’t stand that nonsense.


#5

A few, non Catholic, friends of mine are strippers and it amazes me when they tell me stories about bachelor parties and the things that occur. What makes me giggle though is when they met the one or two guys, occasionally, who aren’t into it and leave the room. They tell me that you can tell and they are respectful to not expose themselves to these men and to be appropriate towards them.
One of the girls showed up for a party and when she met the husband-to-be and saw that this wasn’t his thing, she refused payment and wouldn’t perform, out of respect for him. :thumbsup: :thumbsup:


#6

“Christian”?

I surely am going to miss my bachelor years when “the day” comes, if it does, but there haven’t been strippers in it and neither will they be on the day of the wedding.

From a Catholic perspective, it looks really strange, especially if a Catholic were to do that. Go to Confession, then to strip club, then to church to marry the following day? :rolleyes:

There will not be male strippers at my future (hypothetical) wife’s party, either. Not that I will forbid it, but that I would simply cancel the wedding if I learnt it happened. I would not consummate the marriage if I learnt after the vows, either. I would look for a different woman.

Of course I will pray. Don’t think about what’s going on when it is, but I think you ought to know, you deserve to know and, if I were you, I would think 10x before marrying a man coming back from a stripper show to marry you.


#7

Yep, cause they were saved, so they were already going to heaven. Never mind the number of souls they were sending else where with their actions.
Well, ok, one was Pagan, so she had no problems with it.


#8

great remark!!! :smiley: :smiley:


#9

Almost 19 years ago, one of my husband’s (then fiance’s) friends asked if it was all right if they had a bachelor party for him. I just said, “Ask him.” They looked surprised. “Really? You don’t mind?” “That’s not what I said. I said, ask him if he wants a bachelor party.” So they did, and my husband said, “Absolutely not!” I think his friends were surprised, but my husband told them, what could be more disrespectful on the eve of a wedding than to have a party celebrating being single? “If I liked being single so much, I wouldn’t be getting married!”

And I think it was Jerry Seinfeld who made this observation about bachelor parties and bachelorette parties–“So while the bride’s friends are getting together to give her sexy lingerie, the groom and his friends are sitting in a club watching a table dancer in the exact same outfit. That’s a special moment!”

Don’t worry, I’m praying!


#10

Thanks for all your prayers everyone!

My fiance is not into the strip club scene anymore but his only problem is giving in to his friends. He’s 26 and peer pressure still gets to him! He’s working on it though! He hasn’t gone in years so hopefully his trip won’t be any different.

God bless you all!


#11

This is good to hear, though of course I wish the young women involved in this would stop and reflect on why some of us are not into it. It saddens me to see these women, who probably consider themselves great “feminists” and “in control of their sexuality” (i.e., the “no one forces me to do it, I choose to do it” types), dancing around stupidly for the entertainment of men who would almost certainly fly into a rage if their girlfriends, wives, daughters, whatever suddenly came home one day and announced “honey, I’m going to get a job as a stripper!”

You may have chosen to do it, but the end result is the same whether you do it or whether someone else forces you to. You’re a piece meat thrown to the wolves …

What’s worse is that I’m convinced that there are a lot more men out there who find the whole bachelor party thing as asinine and demeaning as I do, but “tradition” and peer pressure make them somehow think that they’ve got to go along with it.

Pretty damned ridiculous, really.


#12

Yep, peer pressure is a tragedy. If you want to swap complaints about it, I’m always there.


#13

I will never understand why men do the strip club/stripper party thing the night before they are married? I just don’t get the reason behind it? :confused:


#14

Those things are so disgusting. And completely disrespectful. I don’t how people see it as ok. Especially Catholics.


#15

I agree. I could ever marry someone who did that. I wouldn’t even want my boyfriend to go to one.


#16

The disconnect for me has always been why are some guys so unimaginative when it come to planning their own parties!?! Most guys will admit that watching a couple of skanky strangers dance around half naked in the middle of a group of guys is really pretty stupid and juvenile.

In the last few years I’ve observed changes–guys planning golf trips, hunting trips, skiing, hiking, climbing, race car driving, etc…–outdoor-extreme sports kinds of get-aways together. That seems like a far more positive (and hello-FUN) male-bonding experience before a wedding than the usual sleaze-fest bachelor party. I’m all in favor of guys trips and get-aways–and I think REAL men who are adults, not boys, prefer to spend their time and $ away doing something amazing that expands their horizons with exotic travel or pursuit of an outdoor or athletic passion over hiring prostitutes and getting drunk in a hotel.


#17

But what is the purpose of this need for bonding thing right before getting married? as if they are not looking forward to mariage and want to celebrate their last day being single, as opposed to celebrating the coming marriage itself? it is really disrespectful to the will-be spouse, imo.


#18

There is absolutely nothing wrong, disrespectful or suspicious about taking “guys’ time” or “girls’ time” with one’s friends–before, during and after marriage. One’s same-gender friends are very important and can be a great source of support and fun. It simply isn’t healthy to be each other’s whole world. “Reasonable” time away (defined differently for each married couple) with one’s friends, siblings, cousins, etc. can be a great opportunity to recharge your batteries and pursue some interests that your spouse may not necessarily share with you.


#19

What you’re mentioning seems different though. I was talking about specifically wanting to have some outing of being totally single and enjoying it for the last time, which comes across as not truly valuing the commitment that marriage is. There is nothing wrong with beign with friends, but it shouldn’t be in the context of “gotta have all the fun now before i get married tomorrow and then can’t”


#20

My sentiments exactly!!!
Except I am married and I would have done the same… But my husband is not in to that stuff, thank goodness…
I always said I wished my first husband had done it, I would have cancelled the wedding a minute before if he had… then I wouldn’t have to have gone through 6 torturous years and an annulment…


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