My friend is getting married in december. He is not very close to me at this moment, but we were close college buddies, so when he asked me to be a groomsmen in his wedding, I was more than honored.
What bothers me is his best man who is planning the bachelor party is planning a relatively nice party day (golf, social, etc) with many people (about 10). What bothers me is at the end of the night they are doing the usualy machismo bachelor party thing and going to a strip club. None of these people are even an inkling religious so they see nothing wrong with it.
THere is no way I am going to this club. This very same thing happened when I was best man at my brother’s wedding (I didn’t plan the party because I lived out of town). I stood my ground and told them I won’t be attending. I went to the party for dinner and drinks then I went home and they continued the night. It was very hard to stand in the face of 10-15 guys who all see nothing wrong with it and me walk out the door.
I am just frustrated because now I have to do it again! I knew this would happen. Its almost to the point where I don’t even want to be any one else’s groomsmen just so I won’t have to face up to them and tell them I DON"T ATTEND CLUBS.
So naturally this party is out of town, so I told the best man that I would be attending the golfing, and the party afterwards (cards, dinner, etc.) but then I would have to go while they go to these clubs.
The problem is I told a fib. I told him that I needed to return to my family the next day as early as I possibly can, and so therefor cannot stay up until 3am because i need to drive 4 hours the next morning (which is technically true, I do need to drive back the next day, preferably as soon as possible).
I feel bad fibbing but its so much easier than explaining my morals and philosophy on why strip clubs are wrong. I find it disturbing that strip clubs are a “norm” for a pre-wedding party. You supposed to celebrating your last days as being single because you are celbrating the fact that you are about to be married, but not like this!!
Anyways I feel quilty for not telling him the real reason, but I just don’t think 1) he would care, and 2) I barely know this guy and don’t feel its my responsibility to explain my actions to him.
Any support advice would be great. Thanks for listening to my frustration!