Bachelorette Jillian a Walking Traditional Marriage Ad

You have to think of it this way: anyone on TV who embraces a one-man-one-woman view of marriage, and who is focused on kids from the outset, is a great television ad for traditional marriage. (It’s the best we can hope for on TV these days!)

In this case, it’s that Jillian gal on ABC’s Bachelorette who is giving marriage a decent name. She’s grounded, committed to heterosexuality, and insistent on the importance of children in making any engagement decision. Not bad. Better than most TV romances.

So, this week she held on to Kiptyn and Ed while wisely discarding some others. Read the brief review of this week’s program:

Bachelorette Jillian Keeps Ed, Cuts Jesse
tinyurl.com/m6axua

Any Catholic Bachelorette fans out there?

My gosh. I consider myself, in comparison to many Catholics I know, pretty “lax” about dating and so forth. However, I find this show morally questionable, and even atheist co-workers agree that the round-robin behavior of “dating” shown is pretty “ick”. If I had a daughter who had those sorts of televised relations with multiple guys overlapping one another (i.e. no exclusive dating), I am afraid we’d have to have a talk.

I think the whole concept is bad. :shrug:

Think of it this way:

In a media culture completely given over to the promotion of shacking up, teen lust, gay sexuality and gay marriage, ABC’s Bachelor and Bachelorette are downright shockingly traditional.

I know, I know, it’s not the Catholic ideal. But think of it as hugely popular TV ad for the traditional male-female marriage role. Think of the fact that the show always mandates meeting the parents (family hugely important in decision making), finding a suitable parent-oriented suitor (children hugely important in decision making), and always insists on male-female couples.

If we assume that all television programming is indoctrination, then the Bachelorette is a mass indoctrination into traditional marriage and gender roles. No, it’s not religious or ideal, but in our totally blind media world, shows like this should be promoted and accepted as “good advertising” for our side.

Like it or not, popular media is the most influential “parent” of modern society.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no! There’s no reason for “our side” to be force to pick up scraps and garbage to build up our base. If times weren’t so dark, you toss this show in with the rest you condemned, but desperation has made you weak!

Indeed, I agree it might be a symbol for heterosexuality, simply because “straight” sex has a wider base to sell to than gay. A show where a gay man finds a partner wouldn’t appeal to the masses, simply because the masses don’t lean that way.

We mustn’t lower our standards to find allies amongst the foe, once we do, once we concede, once we compromise, we are undone. Is it good, godly, seemly and righteous? No? Then vomit it out! Get rid of it!

*And she’s interested in dating and kissing several men at the same time in hopes of finding one who believes she is serious about marriage. :o Okay.

I admit, I sometimes watch that show, but really it paints dating and finding a potential spouse in a very bad light. I would not want to be standing in a line up, hoping someone would pick me, and then knowing this person is kissing and doing who else knows what with others, at the same time the person is professing his love for me.

Most of these relationships don’t work, can’t imagine why. lol :cool:

This new Bachelorette seems nice, but she seems to be in deep ‘like’ with them all…going home to see their parents…appearing like she is sincerely interested in marrying each and every one of them. If I’m the parent, I’d be like…so, after you leave here, who else’s parents are you going to be trying to impress?

How can you be genuinely trying to find a spouse like this?

That is probably why very very few of these situations work out. Once the person who was ‘picked’ at the end gets to view the footage of the show…he/she probably says to him/herself…wow, I thought you only told that to me…I thought you only kissed me LIKE THAT.

I told my daughter…who is only 13 yrs old…I better never see you on this show! ;):stuck_out_tongue: No one needs to jump through hoops and compete for a husband.*

But times ARE dark, and you have to work with the world as it is and seek to improve it. So can you tell me any other show on TV that is a BETTER advertisement for heterosexual traditional marriage? The Simpsons? No. Secret Life of the American Teenager? Nope.

We have to accept that until we Catholics are putting shows out there that reinforce the best we have to offer, we must promote the movies and shows that do a decent job while recognizing their faults.

In this regard, and assuming we have the media in our world for better or worse, I would much rather have America’s 15-20 year olds watch Bachelor/Bachelorette than most other alternatives.

But I’m open to hearing what shows YOU think are better advertisements for traditional marriage. I look forward to seeing your list.

Whatevergirl: it paints dating and finding a potential spouse in a very bad light. I would not want to be standing in a line up, hoping someone would pick me, and then knowing this person is kissing and doing who else knows what with others, at the same time the person is professing his love for me.

GW: I couldn’t agree more. But I’m not seeking media perfection here. Think of the show compared to other TV shows.

Whatevergirl: Most of these relationships don’t work, can’t imagine why. lol

GW: Again, I couldn’t agree more. But if we think of the show as merely INFLUENTIAL ADVERTISING, we can’t help but conclude that it is an amazing ad for traditional heterosexual marriage with a very real focus on the importance of children and extended family when making courtship decisions. I can’t think of any show that offers this moral instruction to the masses.

Whatevergirl: This new Bachelorette seems nice, but she seems to be in deep ‘like’ with them all…going home to see their parents…appearing like she is sincerely interested in marrying each and every one of them.

GW: But it’s part of the show’s script that the people must recognize that they are potentially joining each others’ whole families, which is very, very, very good.

Whatevergirl: How can you be genuinely trying to find a spouse like this?

GW: You can’t. (Though, actually, they are only agreeing to continue dating after the show or perhaps become engaged, which is possible.) But my point is that the show is an advertisement, and as such it is highly influential in teaching the masses what marriage is about. And the show insists that marriage is heterosexual, focused on extended family relations, and oriented to children. Can you think of another show that does this better?

Whatevergirl: I told my daughter…who is only 13 yrs old…I better never see you on this show! No one needs to jump through hoops and compete for a husband.

GW: I wouldn’t ever tout this show out as Catholic marriage instruction. No way. But think of our society as a whole, and think of TV as the most influential parent of mass society. I only like this show as indoctrinational advertising to American mass audiences. It’s way better in pre-marriage training than any other modern show I can think of.

*Yes, I agree with you. I actually like this particular Bachelorette, she seems genuine, and has a very fun personality. My husband hates these shows, he says…how can someone fight to be with someone he barely knows? :stuck_out_tongue: I have to agree with him.

I don’t watch the show that much, but I was working on the computer last night, and it was on, and I didn’t bother to change the channel! :p*

I thought the Simpsons were a good depiction of marriage…:shrug:

The character’s interpersonal relationships are at least more realistic than anything on ANY dating show.

Regrettably, I am forced to watch “The Bachelorette,” but I don’t really look at it as a real dating show, considering much of the “drama” is manipulated by the producers. Traditionalists would probably balk at next week’s show, which includes a series of “overnight” dates.

Though it’s no longer on the air, I’d say “Everybody Loves Raymond” showed traditional marriage in a pretty good (and realistic) light.

No, work for the world if you feel so called, but always remember, you are in the world, not of it.

So can you tell me any other show on TV that is a BETTER advertisement for heterosexual traditional marriage? The Simpsons? No. Secret Life of the American Teenager? Nope.

Why do we need a television show to promote our view of things? If the what’s on TV is so reprehensibly against everything we stand for, why should we even have TV sets? The news?

We have to accept that until we Catholics are putting shows out there that reinforce the best we have to offer, we must promote the movies and shows that do a decent job while recognizing their faults.

We need not promote anything. Television has never made righteous men, television has not bred a generation of moral women. A drop of poison in the pudding ruins the batch, eh? So cast out anything that even stinks of evil.

In this regard, and assuming we have the media in our world for better or worse, I would much rather have America’s 15-20 year olds watch Bachelor/Bachelorette than most other alternatives.

But I’m open to hearing what shows YOU think are better advertisements for traditional marriage. I look forward to seeing your list.

Advertisements for traditional marriage, eh? Wouldn’t commercializing a sacrament be something akin to simony?

:rotfl:

DTMC: Why do we need a television show to promote our view of things?

GW: Because we live in a world of media, and because media is the No. 1 influencer of the thoughts and beliefs of the masses. And after all, we are at a “popular media” section of this message board.

DTMC: If the what’s on TV is so reprehensibly against everything we stand for, why should we even have TV sets?

GW: Only in recent decades has TV/film become the exclusive domain of pagan producers and owners. And, as a result, TV currently reflects their warped evangelistic view of the future. But this can be changed in a number of ways, and must be changed if society is to be properly directed towards Catholic family values and virtues.

DTMC: We need not promote anything. Television has never made righteous men

GW: Television is nothing more than a communication channel, like a telephone wire; it can be used to communicate right messages that spur men to righteous living, or it can be used to communicate twisted messages that spur men to live unrighteous living.

DTMC: Advertisements for traditional marriage, eh? Wouldn’t commercializing a sacrament be something akin to simony?

GW: There is an entire segment of noncommercial advertising known as “public service announcements,” such as campaigns from the Ad Council. This kind of mass promotion is done to modify public attitudes by raising awareness about specific issues. I think Catholics have a duty to view TV in this light.

Until I hear of some shows that do a good job of promoting decent family life, I will continue to assert that The Bachelorette, while far from perfect, properly glamorizes heterosexual marriage, a child orientation when choosing a suitor, and a strong family context to the decision of marriage. And those are very good things, even if I would rate the viewing age for the show as appropriate for 17 and up. I don’t know of any current shows that do a better job of advertising the core components of traditional marriage. (Again, I see The Bachelor not as “reality” but rather as a TV promotion of something—and that something is traditional marriage.)

The Simpsons is an interesting study into our society’s shift away from the nuclear family in the past 20 years.

When the show came out in 1988 (or so), it was universally opposed by family groups for its powerfully negative hit against the nuclear family. The attitudes expressed by Homer, Bart, etc. were counter to every virtue one would hope to attain for a peaceful, loving, and orderly home. The primary—and perhaps only—virtue to the Simpsons was that they stayed together no matter what, they reconciled often, and divorce was never an option.

That seems like bottom of the barrel stuff. Yes? But here in 2009, when divorce and cohabitation stats are through the roof, the Simpsons seem nearly virtuous and heroic as a traditional family. Go figure. But the Simpsons didn’t change over those 20 years, our society did (and for the worse).

What’s that reality TV show with the Duggar’s called? The ones with umpteen kids?

Raymond and Tool Time (or whatever Tim Allen’s old show was called) were great once you understood that the comedy is written by men, so they’ve got every right to lampoon and caricature the foibles of men.

The old Cosby show is on reruns by me and is great.

Surely in the Netflix era one can get Brady Bunch and 8 is Enough episodes…

I understand the argument that there is little to celebrate on the air right now. But that is no reason to swallow crud like the Bachelor(ette). That’s like arguing that old Father Mahoney (names have been changed to protect the guilty) may have been an angry drunk, but at least he didn’t sexually abuse boys or teach new age doctrine, so we should celebrate him as a great example of the priesthood… No thanks. :frowning:

I think the Bachelorette sends out a fantastic message to teenage girls. It says “Look, If you don’t have any morals or self respect. You’re going to end up like this pathetic s%@t

Hey manualman. I agree shows like Cosby and Brady Bunch do a great job of reinforcing traditional family and marriage. But I’m asking about today.

Again, I’ve asked for anyone to find me a show on today that does the following:

  1. glamorizes heterosexual marriage as both heterosexual and a serious commitment
  2. emphasizes that children are essential when making the choice for marriage
  3. underscores that marriage to a spouse joins whole families, including all in-laws

This show, more than any I have ever seen, teaches those three points in nearly each and every episode. Sure, it’s not really realistic dating, and it’s too loose on smooches (and perhaps a tad more), but I can’t think of a show that does a better more explicit job of promoting—yes, absolutely promoting to the fullest extent of the medium’s capability—the three things I listed above.

Think about that long and hard. When I see anyone suggest a contemporary show that does anything close to the three things I listed above, I’ll consider recanting on my viewpoint.

So to continue my analogy, if the best priest you can find is an angry drunk, you’ll gladly hold him up as your poster boy for the priesthood?

I think you’re falling for the classic devil’s trick: Put the ridiculous extreme out there for a freak show so that people will more easily swallow “lesser” sinfulness.

I’m presuming the show is the same as the Bachelor which my wife watched one season of (and I gave up on after two episodes). If so, she’s simultaneously making out with multiple guys day after day, right? And you think this is great? I don’t. Even if it is the best thing on the air (dubious, but I’m not media expert), so what? If I gave you a barrel full of rotten apples would you eat the LEAST rotten one? Why not toss 'em all and get some decent food?

manualman: I think you’re falling for the classic devil’s trick: Put the ridiculous extreme out there for a freak show so that people will more easily swallow “lesser” sinfulness.

GW: I see it this way: in an increasingly pagan culture where marriage has totally dissolved and most TV shows glorify cohabitation, divorce, and gay marriage,The Bachelorette is the only show glorifying the core elements of traditional marriage: (1) heterosexual, (2) child-focused, (3) family context.

manualman: I’m presuming the show is the same as the Bachelor which my wife watched one season of (and I gave up on after two episodes).

GW: I don’t blame you for not watching reality TV, but the smooching is limited, not central to the show, and somewhat expected for people who are trying to select a suitor for possible engagement.

manualman: Even if it is the best thing on the air (dubious, but I’m not media expert), so what? If I gave you a barrel full of rotten apples would you eat the LEAST rotten one?

GW: If there’s nothing else, yes, I would be forced to choose the least rotten one to avoid starvation. And that’s where the culture is today, like it or not. Although the best solution would be to have Catholics making good movies and TV, we’re just not there at the moment, and the masses are being warped daily by very very bad rotten ideas. So in that context, Bachelorette shines as the best instruction on traditional marriage anywhere in the media today.

I wish we could find modern versions of Cosby and Brady Bunch, but we can’t. In its favor, the Bachelorette shows responsible, mostly decent adults trying to make a responsible choice of a good suitor for possible engagement and family life. It’s almost unheard of to have this kind of marriage training on television. Though again, its a show for ages 17 and up, in my view.

In the show’s favor:

[LIST=1]*]The woman ends up with one man.
*]Late in the season, she meets the suitor’s family, and learns what made the parents’ marriage work (or not work).
*]The suitor meets the bachelorette’s family, and the same applies.[/LIST]

What might not make the show such a hot idea, from a traditional point of view (depending also how you define "tranditional):

[LIST=1]
*]Only one couple paired off from the show (I think it’s in its 15th incarnation if you include both Bachelor and Bachelorette) has ever had what could be considered a lasting relationship.
*]The show, being reality TV, is greatly manipulated and edited (see a site like www.realitysteve.com for details).
*]The bachelor/ette usually “spends the night” with each suitor when it gets narrowed down to a few.
*]The show has the conceit that you should know you’re ready for marriage after a mere few weeks together, while one person “dates” several other people, all under the constant surveillance of a camera crew. (There is a way to back out of full engagement by not proposing marriage, but rather “the chance for this to be something bigger.”)
[/LIST]

The show originally began as some kind of Prince Charming fantasy, but the more one learns about it, it’s easy to be cynical. Unless you watch it for the reason I do, that it’s trashy TV. Though lately it’s just been pretty boring.

Granted, there’s much worse on TV, even from a dating show point of view (Rock of Love, anyone?).

As I mentioned in an earlier post, a more recent show like “Everybody Loves Raymond” was pretty family oriented, as was, I’m guessing (as I never really watched them) shows like “Family Matters” and “Home Improvement.” I suppose even those Tyler Perry shows, for all the shouting, are pretty family oriented.

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