back sass


#1

My 6 year old is going on 30. He is a know it all. He contantly corrects my husband and I. Has anyone else had this problem?


#2

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished by how much he’d learned in seven years.” –Mark Twain

Has anyone who has ever raised a child to adulthood * not* had this problem? There are notable exceptions, but the norm is for the child to go through a period in which they are overly impressed with their own wisdom. I think the only variation is the age at which the parent becomes a moron. I also think that a large fraction of children old enough to talk need a T-shirt that reads “Born to Supervise.” That way we could at least get sympathy for the period our children are going through. :smiley:

Seriously, though, it is rude for him to correct others who did not ask for his opinion, and this needs to be learned along with all the other manners that do not come naturally. He may feel put-upon that his obvious mental superiority is being put to waste, but you can tell him this is why most adults eventually grow up and get their own houses, away from their parents: that is, so they can have a house where they are always right. Until then, he’s not in that house yet.


#3

I think it’s great that your 6 year old is already wise enough to correct you! :slight_smile:


#4

Either "tough love" now, or a monster when a teenager.
Our Jewish bretheren have the best solution for this problem. In Yiddish, transliterated into the Roman alphabet it is: "Ein Zest im toukas" which translates into "a swift whack in the behind".
I'm not saying that you beat the child, just a whack to get his/her attention and to let them know you mean business. Reasoning does not work with 6 year olds. I know, because I raised 3 boys...and Doctor Spock was not allowed in my house!
Today, one son is a college professor, the other is a civil engineer. The oldest was in the Marine Corps, and is deceased.


#5

My best friend's daughter went through this, and around the same age. She will be 12 in a couple of weeks and remains in that stage. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING her mother says is right. It all has to be corrected, even if it is some tiny little inconsequential detail. Normally I say nothing when my friend's child acts up - it's her mother's role (and sometimes privilege :D) but there are times when it's so out of control, in my opinion anyway, that I say something to her (the child) and tell her it's because she's being so mean to my friend. And that if someone were being that mean to her, I would also speak up. She usually is somewhat embarrassed by that and stops the harassment. But holy cow!!! Can that kid pick!!!


#6

Definitely! I find that a good way to judge whether or not you were justified in using physical discipline against your children is by looking at their careers. Your sons became a college professor, a civil engineer and a Marine. Ergo, physical discipline had no negative impact on them!

I’m just kidding of course. :stuck_out_tongue:


#7

[quote="VeritasLuxMea, post:3, topic:297208"]
I think it's great that your 6 year old is already wise enough to correct you! :)

[/quote]

Yah.. Lets put it this way. He thinks he is correct. His observations are clouded.. lol


#8

I am a big fan of Dr. Ray, you control everything a 6 year old does and after you discuss it with him, clearly explaining to him so that he understands the rules in this area, start the consequences…shut him down as Dr. Ray would say…no tv, computer, friends, no bike, no wii, the list goes on.


#9

My 5 (almost 6) year old nephew who lives at home with us in my parents house does this. He always needs to correct us, and always has to be right. Sometimes he likes to finish his statements of "fact" with "I'm not lying!" Which is usually a good indicator that he is.


#10

Sounds like a choleric temperament. The behavior needs to be stopped, for sure, but do learn about the different temperaments and how to best deal with each.

The Temperament God Gave You by Art and Larraine Benett (Catholic)
Personality Plus for Parents by Florence Littauer (Christian)


#11

For sure. This morning I thought my husband was gonna smack him into next week!! LOL:D

He probably does not help that he has two very domineering personalities as parents... LOL :D


#12

Wow, that can be a volatile combo!


#13

Not really, we are adults and I step back because my husband in the head of the house hold. We can discuss things and respect that we have differences. End of the day my husband has the final say. End of Story. :stuck_out_tongue: Its really my husband that bumps heads with him. Mostly my 6 year old know I don’t play and he watches how he talks to me.

Also, my 6 year old is NOT an equal to an adult. Thankfully this ugly behavior is only at home. I am always shocked that the Teachers brag about him and say he is the peace keeper, has wonderful manners, and the other kids look up to him. He is smart. He was reading at a 2nd grade level in Kindergarten. I have been reading this is common about bright children. I am proud of him but it is NOT acceptable. Especially for a CHILD.:slight_smile:

It gets out of hand when he doesn’t understand a situation or why it is wrong and argues until he is blue in the face. I will make sure this is only a phase. We do spank. At a certain age it stops working. At least I noticed in our house. Time to take away privileges. :smiley:


#14

[quote="chris138, post:8, topic:297208"]
I am a big fan of Dr. Ray, you control everything a 6 year old does and after you discuss it with him, clearly explaining to him so that he understands the rules in this area, start the consequences......shut him down as Dr. Ray would say...no tv, computer, friends, no bike, no wii, the list goes on.

[/quote]

Yes. When you let a 6 year old know that disrespectful behavior is "frowned upon in this establishment" there needs to be a memorable aspect to the announcement, such that he will not be in a hurry to repeat the experiment.

He almost certainly will repeat the experiment, so have subsequent consequences ready, lest he subscribe to the maxim that one "may as well be hung for a sheep as for a lamb". Also, the ones who know everything very often get themselves into a deep hole and cannot admit that it is time to stop digging. Be ready to put him somewhere where he can't do his own cause any more harm, lest his mouth send him back to the 12th century. That kind of drama, you can easily do without. :rolleyes:


#15

[quote="JillianRose, post:13, topic:297208"]
Not really, we are adults and I step back because my husband in the head of the house hold. We can discuss things and respect that we have differences. End of the day my husband has the final say. End of Story. :p Its really my husband that bumps heads with him. Mostly my 6 year old know I don't play and he watches how he talks to me.

Also, my 6 year old is NOT an equal to an adult. Thankfully this ugly behavior is only at home. I am always shocked that the Teachers brag about him and say he is the peace keeper, has wonderful manners, and the other kids look up to him. He is smart. He was reading at a 2nd grade level in Kindergarten. I have been reading this is common about bright children. I am proud of him but it is NOT acceptable. Especially for a CHILD.:)

It gets out of hand when he doesn't understand a situation or why it is wrong and argues until he is blue in the face. I will make sure this is only a phase. We do spank. At a certain age it stops working. At least I noticed in our house. Time to take away privileges. :D

[/quote]

I think you are right on with this post. He's just trying to find somewhere he can run without boundaries. Sorry, Buddy, ain't gonna happen....but hey, thank you for pulling this on me instead of at school!


#16

[quote="EasterJoy, post:15, topic:297208"]
I think you are right on with this post. He's just trying to find somewhere he can run without boundaries. Sorry, Buddy, ain't gonna happen....but hey, thank you for pulling this on me instead of at school!

[/quote]

Thank all of you for advice. I don't have a mother or father so your charity is greatly appreciated. xoxoxoxo Raising kids is hard. :rolleyes:


#17

If your 6 year old was reading this, he would probably tell you that you should have said “He constantly corrects my husband and me”. :stuck_out_tongue:


#18

I still am dealing with this. I think all kids to this. What I am doing is trying to teach my son how to properly and politely address what he sees as something wrong. Always ask a question and don’t boss. Always use manners, something which is better modeled than taught. Always have the respect to ask in private if you think a parent is wrong, again something that is better modeled by discipline being in private whenever possible.


#19

[OTE=pnewton;9725507]I still am dealing with this. I think all kids to this. What I am doing is trying to teach my son how to properly and politely address what he sees as something wrong. Always ask a question and don’t boss. Always use manners, something which is better modeled than taught. Always have the respect to ask in private if you think a parent is wrong, again something that is better modeled by discipline being in private whenever possible.

Thanks Mike


#20

I agree with this.

I think that it’s wonderful that a small child is able to speak up. So many children say nothing to adults.

Many children who question adults grow up to accomplish great things. E.g., Jesus

I would encourage the son to keep questioning others, including adults, but teach him to so in a polite, respectful way.

I would also be very careful, if you watch television in your home, to avoid television shows (and movies in the theaters) in which children are portrayed as wise-cracking little smart-alecks. I honestly think that a lot of children pick up the condescending, wise-acre mannerisms from these television children. After all, everyone laughs when the children talk like that on TV, and so our kids think that if they act that way, everyone will laugh and adore them. But what our kids don’t understand is that this is just a fictional work, a TV show or movie, and that in real-life, insults and an insulting attitude make other people feel bad and make adults angry.

If you do choose to watch these shows, many of which are very “family-friendly,” make sure to teach your children that in real-life, children shouldn’t act the way the children act on TV.


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