[quote="JillianRose, post:22, topic:297208"]
The problem I am talking about is not the questions. Its the Back SASS when told to do something. Also, If I don't teach my child to have respect for me then he will not have respect for other adults. He argues with me.
My son also does not have ANY business trying to get involved in an adult conversation when it is not even about him.
You have encouraged or tolerated the behavior in some way, or he wouldn't be doing it. Strong-willed children will take no response from a parent to mean, "Go ahead! You've got my support!" They need a LOT of reining in, but done with a sense of perspective and a tiny dose of humor (if you laugh AT them, they only get their panties in a wad.)
It is not cute for a child to smart back to an adult. Nor is it cute for a 6 year old to insert himself into adult conversations. It's plain obnoxious.
For backtalk: Respond EVERY TIME, do not allow even one sassing to go unaddressed. Sit down with your husband and decide what carrot and what stick you will use to respond. If he responds to a request or a comment politely and appropriately, he gets a positive response (a sticker, a smile, a small treat, etc.). If he back-talks, he gets an admonishment ("You cannot talk to Mommy that way. Please try again.") or a correction (has to do a chore, has to give up $.10 of allowance, etc.). Find the ratio that works for you. Some parents can praise a child more easily for NOT doing a certain behavior.
Before you put any system into place, sit him down and explain what is going to happen and why. You can even role-play his usual responses and the ones he needs to give instead. Have your husband play your son and you give him a command, and have your husband sass back. Tell him that sort of response is no longer going to be allowed, and that RESPECT is the rule in your house.
If he has any questions about what he is being told to do, he can ask that question politely but not as an argument.
One last thing is that if you and your hubby have back and forth exchanges, you must stop that in front of him and any other children. Try not to have adult conversations between the 2 of you when he is around. He obviously wants to participate but needs to know how to be included, so talk more on his level instead of over his head.