I went to Confession and Mass this morning in another town. As I was backing out of the parking lot, I accidentally backed into another car. I got out of my car and looked at both my bumper and the other car’s bumper. My bumper had a tiny ding in it, but I couldn’t see any damage on the other car’s bumper b/c it already had considerable paint damage. A couple of elderly gentlemen came out of the church and I asked if the car belonged to either of them and they said “no” and that they didn’t know who the car belonged to. They looked at the other car’s bumper and said they didn’t see any damage and they wouldn’t worry about it. They said if I had broken the headlight, that would be different. So I left and started down the road. I almost turned back around but went to McDonalds’ drive-up and told myself if the car was still there when I went back, I’d talk to the owner. But by the time I got back to the church, the car was gone. I’m trying to tell myself I didn’t mortally sin. I’m scrupulous, and I thought I could trust two elderly gentlemen who just came out of daily Mass. Secondly, I don’t think it was grave matter since it would have been very difficult to tell if I had done any damage to the other car since there was already considerable paint damage. Still, I wish I had just waited a few more minutes to see if the owner came out and then I wouldn’t have to worry like this. At this point, what can I do? Is this a venial sin?
sadly to say you will probably be stuck on earth for eternity paying for such a horrid offence.
We can only hope that God will have mercy on your soul.
ignore this post
Having been involved in this type of accident, from both angles, the perfect position would have been to leave a message or wait for the person who owned the car you hit. If this ever happens again do it different. But, since it clearly did not do any obvious damage and you have others who agree put it behind you. I probably would confess this in my next trip and if you do I would really appreciate it if you could give us the priests’ advice to you.
:eek:Not very charitable.
To the OP.I tend to be scrupulous also.My suggestion would be to goback to confession,tell the priest.You will feel better for doing this.God Bless
If you didn’t see any damage, and the gentleman didn’t see any damage, there wasn’t any damage. If no damage no offense.
Most bumpers can take a slight tap without incident.
Relax and don’t worry.
This is definitely not a mortal sin. Nothing grave about it. Be at peace.
What exactly do you suppose you could have done about it? Exchanged insurance info, and filed a police report? I think the police officer would have been annoyed at you for wasting his time.
I know people have dinged my car before and not said anything. Last time I washed my car, I noticed a scratch and some cracking paint on the back bumper. It’s mildly annoying, but it is really no big deal. It’s not as though I’d take the car in and replace the bumper or get a new paint job over a tiny scratch.
If you feel you might suffer from scrupulosity, you want to make sure and talk about that with your priest. He can guide you through that and the trouble it causes.
You probably did the person a favor by not telling them. Last year, I was involved in a minor little accident. I was in the drive-thru lane at the atm and she backed up to reach the machine. But in doing so, she backed into my car. The only damage that was done was that my license plate was bent. I told her it was no big deal, but she insisted on calling the police. So the police came, took down our information and she was cited and that was that. Well, a few months ago, when I was renewing my car insurance I saw there was a huge jump in the rate! So I called them and they said it was because of the accident. Apparently even being involved in an accident can make your insurance go up! :eek:
If you have a scrupulous conscience, this is something you need to run by your spiritual director. If you don’t have one, I strongly suggest find one priest who can be your spiritual director.
People who are scrupulous have what is called an erroneous conscience and are not bound by obligation.
In the meantime, I see no reason why you can’t go on with your life and still go to Communion. It’s very clear you didn’t have intent to damage someone else’s property, and intent is a huge part of sin.
Best answer. I agree with this poster.
You did the responsible thing. You got out and checked for damage. Had you seen any, you would have left a note or done more to track the owner. Remember that you would have taken responsibility with the gentlemen you did spot. I don’t think you did anything wrong. Ask our Lord for peace about this. He will give you the help you need to put this little hiccup in your day into perspective. I understand. My mind works like this sometimes, too. We want a right conscience, but that doesn’t mean that we should see sin where there is none.
Dear goodness, Veronica, why do you do this to yourself? Do you listen at all to your confessor or spiritual director? Asking these “is it a sin” questions on a public forum is not healthy at all for the spiritual health of the scrupulous.
- Not a mortal sin
- Talk to your priest about being scrupulous and ask for clarification about it being a venial sin or not (I don’t think it was- for clarification I’m talking about the leaving without finding the owner; not the accident itself- that wasn’t a sin at all)
- Talk to the church staff to see if they know who owns the car (describe it to them) or to see if anyone has reported that their car was bumped into
- You inspected the car, you had two other individuals inspect the car, none of you could see any damage- the only thing I would have done differently would have been to inform the church staff prior to leaving (if I couldn’t find anyone of the staff I would have just left after one last inspection of the car)
you very clearly had an accident since you didn’t deliberately drive into the vehicle.
How is an accident a sin?
[FONT=“Comic Sans MS”][size=]I just called the church office. The secretary didn’t know anyone with that make and model car–she said they have 600 families at the church. She said I could call the police if I had the license number. I said I didn’t write it down. I told her the car was already damaged and I didn’t think I did any more damage than was already there and the two men who came out of the church didn’t either but in hind sight I wish I had stayed a little longer and waited for the owner. She really didn’t have much to say. With caller i.d. maybe she’ll call the police and report me–who knows? (Another scrupulous thought.)[/size][/FONT]
My confessor said today: “God loves you so much and He knows your heart and knows you’re trying to do the right thing.” I think the Holy Spirit is trying to tell me something.
You have a good soul. You have shown you care.
There was no damage. This was testified by 2 witnesses. Please forget it now. No sin was committed.
If you want to mention it at confession do but there is no need. You were very caring.
- I seriously doubt she will call the police to report you.
1a. I seriously doubt the police would investigate/do anything even if she did given the lack of damage and your actions so far.
- You’ve taken full responsibility for bumping into the other car, done everything in your power to find the owner of the car and to ensure you did not damage their vehicle. Don’t worry about it any more.
- Please talk to your priest about being scrupulous if you haven’t already .
Does your confessor know you’re constantly posting “is it a sin” questions on an Internet forum? Because if he doesn’t, I think he needs the opportunity to order you to stop. Only obedience to your confessor will give you any peace and these forums with a whole host of answers from anonymous people with differing opinions (some of them scrupulous themselves) will only make your condition worse. You must reserve your questions to your confessor and obey him unconditionally.
Your confessor is wise. Listen to him!