Bad BAD night out, completely stuck


#1

Sorry if this is in the wrong place btw :shrug:

Well last night Saturday night went out in town as per, but, infact BUT I had been thinking about different aspects about catholicness (is that a word?) over a few days and slowly persuading myself against it, you know when nothing seems to be working out in your head to shift you towards it?

And so for the past few months when going out clubbing I would have a little voice inside me saying ‘come on now, you’ve had a good night, no need to drink anymore’ but this time there was nothing, and I didn’t care that I was a total mess, at all.

Ended up going home with 5 boys that I used to know 2 years ago in which one lives across from me, and falling asleep to a movie, to wake up about 20 mins ago thinking ‘oh dear what on earth have I done’ (no not in THAT kinda way don’t worry) , walked across to my house to my mum waking up and saying I apparently said this and that in the night and ALL the neighbors heard :nope: And I don’t even remember it so of course denied it and said I only just got back from town, but it sounds like sooo something i would say, and she sounded so angry and disappointed, but I already am with myself already :blush:

Basically, I got smashed last night, and HATE that fact, so I can’t really go to church tomorrow (mum would refuse to go with me anyway, it’s bad enough when I’ve not done anything!), yet I know that if I was to go it would help get me back on track, does that make sense? (or of course it would make me understand why people have been persuading me not to go to church, you know when someone picks out a fault and THEN you can see it?)

I don’t know what to do; I don’t think mum would come with in a million years, and I wouldn’t be able to have communion I don’t think (is getting wasted a mortal sin?)

Generally this is a bit of a useless thread in which I’m not really asking a specific question, just wanting some opinions in my oh so long rantathon ( now THAT should be a word, ranathon:thumbsup: )

:frowning:


#2

Don’t see why you can’t go to church. You wouldn’t be able to receive communion as you have deliberately abused that wonderful body G_D gave you by over indulging and boozing it up. I hope you decide that losing control over yourself by getting drunk isn’t worth it. If you do decide to abstain, or limit yourself, go to confession and then seek professional help. You can tell if you are an alcoholic if, when a drink is placed in front of you, you can then drink half of it and walk away leaving the other half there. No, you can’t go to another bar either and drink the other half.:wink:


#3

our.homewithgod.com/divinemercy/
catholicforum.com/churches/cathteach/divinemercy1.htm
angelfire.com/ca3/rafaelmarie/ThePieta/athepieta.html
Some stuff to get you inspired about Catholicism.:thumbsup:


#4

haha noooo I don’t need professional help, I just need to regain a conscious in which seemed to have vanished last night :blush:

I’m thinking don’t go to church (since I’ll be by myself and it’s chucking it down so I’ll get drenched walking there, rubbish excuse I know) and then go to confession next week when maybe I may have some morals back in order :shrug: So I’ll have a week to think about everything I shall have to say…sound like a good plan

(sits, dreading the morning and her mother waking up to accuse and shout :frowning: serves me right)


#5

at least you are sorry for what you have done. I am guessing that you are unhappy to some extent that you have displeased God? This is called contrition which takes away any mortal sin, but you still need to confess it later. I suggest you go to church if you can. :slight_smile:


#6

All of us have behaviors that we sometimes “give in” to, that we wish we didn’t. In my area when one gives in, it’s called falling off the wagon. The thing to do is to get back on our wagon, not wasting too much time scolding ourselves for falling off.

I encourage myself to stay on my wagon in various ways. One…is to have a destination in mind. For some people a long term goal or destination works, for others, a short term goal works better.

Think of something you want for yourself, either a material thing, to attend an event, or something you want to work for to become…a career, or a certain type of person. Let that be your destination, and imagine the sort of wagon you need to ride to get there. Then, when a situation comes up ask yourself honestly, is this getting me closer or farther from my destination.

If you go clubbing, set a limit, a certain time you will be home, a certain amount of money you will spend, or a number of drinks. And then, keep to it.

“Sorry, mates, I need to hit the hay,” or “I’m saving up for my trip next summer, no more for me” or whatever.

This has really helped me stay on my wagon many times when I was nearly toppling off, and it helps me get back on when I do tumble. I realize that my behavior isn’t getting me anything or anywhere…

I often say to my kids (teens and twenties), but I’ve been telling them their entire lives…don’t go where you don’t want to be. Don’t head down a road that takes you to a place you don’t want to be. If you don’t want to be a smoker, don’t smoke. If you don’t want to be pregnant outside of marriage, don’t have sex. If you don’t want a traffic ticket, don’t speed.

If you do want a good grade, study. If you do want a talent, practice. If you want friends, treat people well.

I tell myself that as well, all the time!

I was raised to believe only kids did stupid things and that when one got to be a grownup doing the right thing came naturally. Now I know better. We have to train ourselves to think ahead, to make good decisions for our own lives, etc. So I taught my kids that from early on.

this is YOUR life, not your mates, not your mom’s, not anyone else’s. So, think of a few things that you want for your life, think about how best to reach that goal and keep it in mind when you plan your other activities. Fun and friends are important, but you can have them without having them lead you farther from your own dreams.

cheddar


#7

Basically, I got smashed last night, and HATE that fact, so I can’t really go to church tomorrow

I don’t know what to do; I don’t think mum would come with in a million years, and I wouldn’t be able to have communion I don’t think (is getting wasted a mortal sin?)

Yes, getting wasted is a mortal sin (if done with knowledge and consent). It is bad for your physical health, compromises your ability to make sound decisions, puts your soul in peril of commiting other sinful acts, makes you more likely to do things that are a danger to yourself and others (physically and spiritually).

But for a Catholic to intentionally miss Mass on a Sunday or holy day of obligation is another mortal sin. See how one sin leads to another? Getting drunk (one sin) leads you to the decision not to go to Mass (another sin). Having committed one mortal sin does not justify commiting another.

You are required to attend Mass, but not permitted to receive Holy Communion until you have made a sacramental confession of all serious sins and received absolution.

How is it relevant that “I don’t think mum would come with” unless you are completely unable to get to Mass on your own? You seem to be old enough to make your own decision to go to Mass, with or without someone to go with you.

Go to Mass, refrain from receiving Communion, and make an appointment for confession as soon as possible. You don’t even need to wait until next weekend.


#8

today go to church
tomorrow go to AA
this week, get new friends


#9

Thanks for all your opinions :thumbsup: I like how everyone adds something different that I hadn’t thought of

Well that’s a bit of a long story…When I went by myself a few times a couple of months ago when she refused I got a stampead towards me asking where my mum was and everything and I never knew what to say. She always said don’t tell them I just can’t be bothered and people presumed she must be ill or something. It was just so uncomfatable and everything because I knew everyone was looking at me, then when it finished people were asking so many questions about why isn’t mum there, and I never knew how to answer :shrug: I’m really not great in them types of social situations! I know I know it shouldn’t stop me from going, they only care.

I don’t need AA, I only go out 4 nights a week and don’t get drunk at all (which is probably why last night had such regrets, cos it never happens).

And yup I will not be going out with them friends again, well it was just me and another friend but we bumped into 8 people we used to be friends with so stayed with them ( regrettably)

And didn’t get to mass. :frowning:
I should have, and not been a wimp, and cause last night to build to even more mortal sins, but I didn’t.


#10

Most places have an evening service? Does yours? You can go this evening then :thumbsup:


#11

It’s already 6PM in England, but that’s a great idea if the need ever comes up again.


#12

I didn’t read anything in the original post that suggested she needed professional help with her drinking :confused: Sure, she had a few too many, hardly a reason to call the fire fighters huh?

As for getting new friends - her friends seemed just fine - I mean, she drank with them, danced the night away with them, I’m presuming had a belly full of laughs in the process, then went back to their house, watched a movie, and fell asleep - nothing inappropriate happened - sounds like a good night out to me :confused:

The angst seems to be centered around her mum and missing mass. So yeah, if you’re still living at home, try and stick to the house rules, and if you know you have an appointment the next day - drink accordingly. But I think chucking her friends and going to AA is a tad over the top - non?


#13

it is not just her mother who she needs to please but God. Getting drunk is a gateway to many dangers, physically and spiritually. If her friends lead her to drink to excess then she needs to keep different company.


#14

You need to confess, even if it means making an appointment, and start going to Mass even if it’s hard. Tell people there you’re having trouble getting there when the weather’s bad and maybe someone will start picking you up. If they ask about your mother, be as honest as you can within etiquette and the bounds of privacy and don’t make anything up. If they get pushy ask them please not to.


#15

Hey thanks for everyone’s replies

Other peoples opinions on what to do next are always good. :thumbsup:


#16

hey OP is the one in anxiety because of effects of drinking, coming from a long line of drinkers who are mostly in denial, if your drinking is causing anxiety and regret, it is not too soon to consider AA. If your friends are the ones who are teaching you this is the way to hang out and have fun, you need new friends. You asked for advice, I gave it, take it or leave, if you leave it, no reply necessary.


#17

Note that in my previous post to you, I said if you DECIDE to curtail, or abstain, from your drinking problems, go to confession. If you haven’t DECIDED to amend your ways, ie. amend as in Act of Contrition, then going to confessionn is a waste of time for you and the priest. Puzzle Annie suggest AA. Sounds to me like you do have a problem with the drinking and I second the move to get support. What can you lose by going? Nothing.

And you may gain your life back. THEN go to confession either before the AA meeting, :thumbsup: or immediately after.

DE NIAL is not a river in Egypt. Ha ha, hoo, hoo yourself.


#18

Drinking problems? It was one night that i was talking about. Surely if it was a drinking problem it would go along the lines of ‘why do my nights always end the same, I never know when to stop’ where as mine was something like ‘usually there’s a little voice (conscience) telling me to stop, but this time it wasn’t there’

Would mending my ways count as it being a horrible wake up call of what happens when I get drunk and have a little agreement with myself that if I’m in that situation where I feel a bit more than slightly tipsy, go home! And stay well away from shots. ?

This is what would happen if I was to go to AA:
How often would you say you drink?
Well I generally go to the pub about 3-4 times a week where I have about 2 drinks before moving onto the softies usually
How much do you drink in your own home
Only for biggish family meal when we have some wine or if I have a BBQ or something people bring drinks

See I would sound silly sitting there with people that NEED their drink, not just drink when at events of socialising

DE NIAL is not a river in Egypt. Ha ha, hoo, hoo yourself.

huh :shrug:

On a lighter note though, if I was a alcoholic then these posts may have struck something, to think from one post people could see I was an alcoholic may have made me think twice, who knows.:shrug:


#19

Yep :yup: See, I wasn’t the ONLY one who interpreted your post that way. Think about it.:wink:


#20

you are upset enough about one night of drinking to come here and seek advice, that should tell you somethin


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.