Baptism question

I was away form the church for a time, and came back recently. When I did, My husband and I had our marriage blessed in the church, and we had our kids baptized. We invited our families to attend. My MIL (who is a catholic, but lives with her boyfriend and rarely attends mass) received Communion. I was a little peeved about that, because I had a few conversations with her BEFORE that day about how I was so excited to finally receive Communion, because I wasn’t able to before, because my husband and I weren’t married in the church, only legally. So I KNOW she knows the “rules” about communion.

Is it awful of me to not invite her to the baptism of the new baby? Or should I just get over it?

Invite her to the baptism.

She knows the requirements for receiving Holy Communion and if she receives without being properly disposed then it is completely on HER, not you.

And, you cannot know if she is “properly disposed” or not-- who knows, she may have gone to confession. A long shot, I know, but we must have charity towards others and assume the best.

Oh, I know that her sins are between her and God, I am not judging her. But since she lives with her boyfriend, I am pretty sure she is in the state of mortal sin. I don’t see how there is anyway around that one.

Invite her, ask the priest to announce again the rules for who may receive, or silently show her the relevant page in the missalette, and let go. She is an adult, she has a conscience, you have done your part. let Jesus work on her in the grace of the double sacraments you are celebrating, baptism and Eucharist. We are obliged in Christian charity to put the most generous interpretation possible on any action we witness in another person, even a family member, especially a parent. We assume she is in a state of grace if she receives, that she is taking steps to amend her life, has confessed any sin etc. WE DO NOT judge. Neither do we discuss and speculate with the rest of the family.

Maybe I should just learn some breathing exercises or something.

And of course I would never discuss this with anyone, friends or family. I didn’t even say anything to my husband. I have no interest in trying to hurt her, or talk about her behind her back to other family members. I was just wondering if it would be awful of me to not invite her to the baptism this time.

Also, last time it was private, because we were having our marriage blessed also. When this new baby is baptized, it will just be at a regular mass, with a bunch of other people we don’t necessarily know.


This is my opinion—If I was in your shoes—I would not invite her.

Maybe I shouldn’t have asked this question here. I think my real question is being missed. I am not asking about whether she is in the state of mortal sin or now. Thats none of my business. I’m asking is it bad to not invite her to the baptism. The only reason I mentioned WHY I didn’t want to invite her was so that you would understand WHY. I am not just being a mean DIL. She did something at my child’s BAPTISM and my WEDDING that was deeply offensive to me.

I think it is unwise not to invite her. It may create a rift that is hard to mend. What is your husband’s opinion on this?

Here’s an easy solution to your problem If your church has time set aside apart for doing your baby’s baptism apart from at mass, like a Sunday afternoon, opt for that alternative instead. It’s still a baptism, fully a sacrament, and this way your MIL won’t be committing a sacrilege by receiving communion since communion is not offered at the baptismal service.

Then you won’t have to worry if she comes or not.
But I also would pick up some good solid Catholic books/magazines and leave them in places for her to pick up…or when she is with you…have a Catholic radio station on if one is in your area, or you can listen online…streaming live.
…relevantradio.com or Ave Maria Catholic radio would be two solidly good Catholic stations to listen to…or ewtn TV programs.

And then let God do the rest of the work, while you keep her in your prayers. All things are possible with God!:wink:

Congratulations on returning to the faith … and for your new baby!

The Catholic Church invites ALL to mass – believers, unbelievers, poor believers, grievious sinners, not-so-grievious sinners … please invite your MIL to the baptism mass. If she chooses to sin by unworthily receiving our Lord in Holy Communion, then she will be held accountable before Him.

Yes, we’re our brothers’ (and sisters’) keepers – and you have shown your love and concern for her soul by bringing the issue up to her. You can talk with her or provide reading material if you think it will help. Pray for her, and then let go and let God, and let her and everyone rejoice during the Baptism and Mass.

catholiceducation.org/articles/religion/re0725.html
usccb.org/dpp/Eucharist.pdf

Your Sister I Suppose Is A Junior To You. That Is An Advantage On Your Own Part, What You Have To Do Is To, Talk To Her About Staying With Her Boyfriend Its Against Christainity,because Such Things Could Lead To Her Committing Mortal Sin Which Deprives Us From The Santifying Grace Of God.
Just Tell Her Everything Is Good And Right

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