Is it wrong to wanting a better job than the one I that I have right now? I really want a job that pays well. Not something that will make me rich nor anything, but just something were I can support myself and my daughter, were I can have money accessable when I need it to pay a bill, buy groceries, buy clothes(nothing fancy), and just be able to live on without having to depend on anyone. I would love to get a car. Not a expensive one, just something were I can go to work and to the store. I don’t have a good education like others.
Is it also wrong to be jealous of my younger sister who graduated with honors from school and had an university education and has the best jobs and I graduated from high school but only went to community college and I didn’t graduate because I have difficulty with some subjects?
I am the black sheep of the family and everyone else in my family is successful but me. they are happy with their marriage, their jobs, and their lives and I feel like I can’t do anything right. I can never keep a job just because I am a slow learner and it takes time for me to complete things. I have a disability. I don’t know what it is. It might me ADD.
The reason why I wanted a husband is to help me with the bills. I can’t be by myself. I am afraid. Afraid of being homeless and not able to provide for my kids. Actually, I wanted to be a housewife and stayed home to cook, clean, and raise the kids, but I that wasn’t meant to be. I don’t have alot of desires. My biggest desire is to be with my kids and also have animals. I would love to go to Mexico as many times as I please to see my family there.
I can’t please anyone. I don’t really like myself and I feel like a failure. I cry alot and I feel alot of anguish. I don’t know how to get closer to God. I tried reading the bible and try praying the rosary, but I get tired from working and raising my daughter. sometimes I desire to go. No, I won’t commit suicide, but I feel like the world would be better off without me. I feel like a burden. I wish there was someone I could bare my soul to without being critized. Someone I can use their shoulder to cry on.