Based on Gospel & Rading of Sept. 7, How should we speak out & resolve conflicts with others?


#1

Based on Gospel & Reading of Sept. 7, How should we speak out & resolve conflicts with others?

Reading 1
Ez 33:7-9

Thus says the LORD:
You, son of man, I have appointed watchman for the house of Israel;
when you hear me say anything, you shall warn them for me.
If I tell the wicked, “O wicked one, you shall surely die, ”
and you do not speak out to dissuade the wicked from his way,
the wicked shall die for his guilt,
but I will hold you responsible for his death.
But if you warn the wicked,
trying to turn him from his way,
and he refuses to turn from his way,
he shall die for his guilt,
but you shall save yourself.

Gospel
Mt 18:15-20

Jesus said to his disciples:
“If your brother sins against you,
go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.
If he listens to you, you have won over your brother.
If he does not listen,
take one or two others along with you,
so that ‘every fact may be established
on the testimony of two or three witnesses.’
If he refuses to listen to them, tell the church.
If he refuses to listen even to the church,
then treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector.
Amen, I say to you,
whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven,
and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.
Again, amen, I say to you,
if two of you agree on earth
about anything for which they are to pray,
it shall be granted to them by my heavenly Father.
For where two or three are gathered together in my name,
there am I in the midst of them.”

Should we speak the truth and engage those who are wrong, then pray they will have some understanding of the truth? Should we engage, with these type of people for a short time and then if they still do not see, just move on leaving them with the truth and the responsibility to their own salvation?


#2

Yes, I think the readings are instructing us in that direction.

Should we engage, with these type of people for a short time and then if they still do not see, just move on leaving them with the truth and the responsibility to their own salvation?

The virtue of prudence has to guide us in these matters. Some people will not respond to the truth. They’re closed off internally and they can’t hear it. But we have to try something with them. Sometimes, we just have to pray that there will be an opening for us to give good words.

It also depends on the relationship you have with the people you’re talking about. With family members, we can’t move on and leave them in error.

But it’s all a matter of prudence – the grace and virtue to do the right thing at the right time. Letting God speak as much as possible.


#3

That’s what I was thinking as well just as guide:

  • Parents and children one category of time and effort

  • Cousins, Aunts and Uncle another category of time/effort

  • CAF Forumies, coworkers another category of time/effort

  • Even strangers yet another category.

I would agree, those who will not listen to the truth, we can only spend so much time with and we should leave them with ownership of their own salvation, allowing the Holy Spirit to do the heavy lifting.

“If he refuses to listen even to the church, then treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector.”


#4

I think it is interesting that you say “time and effort”. If the issue of forgiveness is ignored, hate festers and becomes an even greater hate. One only has to look at the world today to notice the tremendous festerings of hate. I believe God understands our delay in our efforts of tackling forgiveness/hate, and allows us a time period to bring ourselves to approach it, however there is this matter of time…too much time and it is harmful for all; too much time and there is the likelihood of not even bothering to approach the issue. It is harmful to get trapped into a learned response of: problem? then ignore, let it slide, and then completely forget about it. This is why HE warns us of the time during the ultimate judgment. It gets us to consider the very real end result of side stepping issues. We must face forgiveness and do it as soon as we are able to face it.


#5

I am reading a book by Catholic therapist Gregory Popcak called God Help Me! these people are driving me nuts: making peace with difficult people, and covers what he calls the PEACE process, a 5 step strategy to resolve conflicts and ongoing troubles in any relationship, quite excellent, from Loyola Press.

some particularly good tips not only on marriage issues, but conflicts with teens, and also at work. am sending it to a couple of parents of teens who need help now.

steps in a nutshell
Practice working with not against each other
Express your desire to help the other person meet his or her needs
Assert more respectful and efficient ways to meet the need or intention [which lies behind the other person’s troublesome behavior–he also gives tips on how to uncover that intention]
Create a plan to help each other use these new more respectful strategies
Evaluate the results and make adjustments as needed


#6

Cool~! I get it. Going to look for this source. Thanks a mill!


#7

I was also thinking about conflict outside of the family too. With the election and the hostility we face as people of Faith. Even some who post on CAF find it difficult to be open to the Truth.:shrug:


closed #8

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