So I was struggling with fornication with a girl I’ve been seeing. Sunday I went to confession, and this week I haven’t committed that act. Last night I prayed for God to help me resist. Tonight, I was burning with passion when the girl decided we can’t hang out. To be honest, I’m upset I didn’t get my way, but at the same time I see God’s hand in this. Am I sinning by being upset? I’m basically saying, “I’m doing your will, but I’m not happy about it tonight.” Do any of you ever feel that way?
I have a lot of sexual sin in my past. I was addicted to pornography. I know how addictive sexual sin can be. When you sin, you are scorning God. This is not something He’s pleased with. If this girl is what is causing you to stumble into fornication, then you should consider breaking up with her. Otherwise that sin may drag you down to Hell. We can be sure of this; fornicators do not inherit the Kingdom of God.
Im aware of that. However, it’s hard to deal with this when I feel like I’m just told not to do something and I get no spiritual consolation for doing right. Additionally, when I feel like I’m doing wrong if I’m angry for resisting, it’s even harder to stay motivated. That’s what the topic is about.
“Father, forgive me for I have sinned.”
“Go on, my child”
“Father, this week I did not fornicate”
“That is not a sin”
“I got very angry over the situation”
“Oh, well, that’s quite another thing…”
Our Lord said:
“…and some have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the Kingdom of God.”
He did not say it would be easy.
Okay so are you saying I’m sinning by being angry?
Anger is a passion that is properly used to oppose evil. Therefore, it can be good and proper if the situation requires it. Lacking a response to some form of evil, I would say that it is worth confessing.
Although it occurs for different reasons, I confess becoming angry.
EDIT: It is not OK to be angry because you were prevented from sinning. I could see the entire situation as being the hand of God at work. Rather than anger or frustration, that is cause for thanksgiving.
Yeah, I feel that way sometimes. That’s alright.
I remember in one his talks, Fr. Chad Ripperger talks about how effeminate men have become. When you ask a man why he doesn’t pray regularly, he’ll typically say that it’s because he doesn’t feel like it. According to Fr. Ripperger, effeminacy is the quality of unwillingness to bear suffering. It has masculinity as its polar opposite. I believe the gist of his point at that point in the talk is that if the men were masculine, they would pray, not because they feel like it but because they know it to be the right thing to do. He argues that prayer is something manly because you are forcibly subjecting yourself to God’s will. (I believe this may have been on one of his talks on Marriage, specifically for Husbands)
Based off of this, I believe it’s okay to feel frustration towards God in the way you’re experiencing. You’re most certainly not acting on it in anyway (which reminds me of something I need to confess so thanks) but nonetheless, you’re controlling yourself and bringing yourself under God’s will to the best of your ability and I think that’s alright. In essence, I think it’s okay for you to feel one way about God but, due to reason, decide to act another way because this seems to just be a necessary part of our walk with Christ. We’re not going to enjoy every step along the way and I think he’s very aware of this. Think about it rationally: how is it possible for us to grow in virtue without suffering the pain of our unfulfilled desires along the way?
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