[quote="katholicchik, post:1, topic:274684"]
I'm so frustrated! I have to vent and ask advice. Please -- yy cafeteria catholic cousin with whom we had a bit of controversy 5 years ago at my wedding (I didn't invite her on again off again bf at the last minute to wedding, whom I worked with and didn't like for a number of reasons -- so sue me) and she was my maid of honor who ditched me in all manner of wedding help etc, whatever I honestly don't care anymore but this is where we come from.
She is getting married next month. Originally she asked our cousin and his gf to play ave maria at their outdoor not catholic ceremony at a country club. I was not included at all, which was actually ok because I don't honestly love that she's marrying outside the church... but then our cousins gf couldn't come so they asked me to sing Ave Maria. I said yes. Now a few weeks after being asked and just a few weeks til the wedding she says, oh nevermind, the gf is coming again and she will do Ave Maria. Will you do Beauty and the Beast -- Tale as Old as Time.
WHAT? I am almost hyperventilating here. At a wedding? It says "beauty and the beast" in the lyrics.
Now I have trouble always doing the most virtuous thing. I want to love and do whats right, but for goodness sake. I feel a bit dissed and now they are just trying to placate me. I get it. I don't want to add stress and drama but quite frankly I'm offended. So now what do I do with that offense... ask God for grace and suck it up and say I am fine not singing?
You have to understand... it's just rather embarrassing and I honestly don't even want to go. Everyone knows I'm the catholic-catholic one in the family and I tried to explain why she should be married in the church and everyone said it doesn't matter -- God is bigger than churches etc... goodness I am so frustrated, offended, and irritated. I know that's not love... and I need humility. But practically what should I do. What would you do. And for fun, what would you like to do? haha :):thumbsup:
Would she consider "Gaston" instead? :p
This is my advice. It's bad to back out of a commitment. It's worse to be stuck in a commitment you'll privately resent. And a wedding is no place to feel resentful. If you won't enjoy singing, don't sing the song (although I'm not sure to what extent the song's problematic...it's a nice song, but just seems weird for a service). If you're absolutely certain that you'll feel miserable, don't attend.
It's not clear to me whether your cousin's wedding is invalid (is the groom Catholic, did he have a previous marriage that wasn't annulled?) as opposed to improper. Check this out with your priest.