Before the Marital Alct


#1

Ok so here it is... an utterly embarassing subject to post.

Opinions please

My wife and I had a rare opportunity alone and she decided it would be an opportune moment to renew the sacrament so to speak.

Now just before the act while she was washing/getting prepared I was alone in the bedroom and decided to look at some innocent photos of me and my wife... but I did this to whet the appetite so to speak. At the time I thought it was ok to do since we were about to engage in the act (and she is my wife afterall) but now I look back at it as a basically selfish act and I should have waited till she was there before consenting to arousal through proper physical communication. I wouldn't normally look at my wife *that *way unless we were going to engage in the marital act.

Shall I go to communion tomorrow? Is this a sin of grave matter. I honestly wouldn't have consented to it if i thought it was sinful. Now I think it was..


#2

Umm, I don’t think you did anything wrong. You were desiring your wife, that’s all. What is wrong with that?


#3

[quote="John_of_Woking, post:1, topic:204833"]
Ok so here it is... an utterly embarassing subject to post.

Opinions please

My wife and I had a rare opportunity alone and she decided it would be an opportune moment to renew the sacrament so to speak.

Now just before the act while she was washing/getting prepared I was alone in the bedroom and decided to look at some innocent photos of me and my wife... but I did this to whet the appetite so to speak. At the time I thought it was ok to do since we were about to engage in the act (and she is my wife afterall) but now I look back at it as a basically selfish act and I should have waited till she was there before consenting to arousal through proper physical communication. I wouldn't normally look at my wife *that *way unless we were going to engage in the marital act.

Shall I go to communion tomorrow? Is this a sin of grave matter. I honestly wouldn't have consented to it if i thought it was sinful. Now I think it was..

[/quote]

For a mortal sin (to thus keep you from communion) one needs grave matter full knowledge and complete consent...you state here that you would not have consented if you thought it was sinful....so it would seem you lacked the three aspects...

as to the thing itself...if one is not treating ones wife as "some object" in looking at innocent pictures of her...as one is preparing for the martial act....such would not seem to be sinful ...unless of course you start to treat her as just "some woman" for your sexual desires...or otherwise lust after her...treating her as a object...a mere means or something...


#4

[quote="John_of_Woking, post:1, topic:204833"]
Ok so here it is... an utterly embarassing subject to post.

Opinions please

My wife and I had a rare opportunity alone and she decided it would be an opportune moment to renew the sacrament so to speak.

Now just before the act while she was washing/getting prepared I was alone in the bedroom and decided to look at some innocent photos of me and my wife... but I did this to whet the appetite so to speak. At the time I thought it was ok to do since we were about to engage in the act (and she is my wife afterall) but now I look back at it as a basically selfish act and I should have waited till she was there before consenting to arousal through proper physical communication. I wouldn't normally look at my wife *that *way unless we were going to engage in the marital act.

Shall I go to communion tomorrow? Is this a sin of grave matter. I honestly wouldn't have consented to it if i thought it was sinful. Now I think it was..

[/quote]

For a mortal sin (to thus keep you from communion) one needs grave matter full knowledge and complete consent...you state here that you would not have consented if you thought it was sinful....and that you believed it was not...so it would seem you lacked the three aspects...

as to the thing itself...if one is not treating ones wife as "some object" in looking at innocent pictures of her...as one is preparing for the martial act....such would not seem to be sinful ...unless of course you start to treat her as just "some woman" for your sexual desires...or otherwise lust after her...treating her as a object...a mere means or something...


#5

For a mortal sin (to thus keep you from communion) one needs grave matter full knowledge and complete consent...you state here that you would not have consented if you thought it was sinful....and that you believed it was not...so it would seem you lacked the three aspects...

as to the thing itself...if one is not treating ones wife as "some object" in looking at innocent pictures of her...as one is preparing for the martial act....such would not seem to be sinful ...unless of course you start to treat her as just "some woman" for your sexual desires...or otherwise lust after her...treating her as a object...a mere means or something...


#6

[quote="rapunzel77, post:2, topic:204833"]
Umm, I don't think you did anything wrong. You were desiring your wife, that's all. What is wrong with that?

[/quote]

Thanks for your input. I guess old nick is trying to throw up reasons for despair as always....


#7

[quote="Bookcat, post:5, topic:204833"]
For a mortal sin (to thus keep you from communion) one needs grave matter full knowledge and complete consent...you state here that you would not have consented if you thought it was sinful....and that you believed it was not...so it would seem you lacked the three aspects...

as to the thing itself...if one is not treating ones wife as "some object" in looking at innocent pictures of her...as one is preparing for the martial act....such would not seem to be sinful ...unless of course you start to treat her as just "some woman" for your sexual desires...or otherwise lust after her...treating her as a object...a mere means or something...

[/quote]

Having considered it I won't refrain from communion tomorrow as at the time I believed it was not sinful (certainly not gravely).

Whether I treated her as an object? I hope not. It's hard to judge though. I never look at woman as objects. The trouble is when the passions take over it is hard to gauge whether the heart retains all its purity. I guard my heart so preciously in day to day living that when I do engage in the marital act it feels strange to allow myself pleasure.


#8

[quote="John_of_Woking, post:7, topic:204833"]
Having considered it I won't refrain from communion tomorrow as at the time I believed it was not sinful (certainly not gravely).

Whether I treated her as an object? I hope not. It's hard to judge though. I never look at woman as objects. The trouble is when the passions take over it is hard to gauge whether the heart retains all its purity. I guard my heart so preciously in day to day living that when I do engage in the marital act it feels strange to allow myself pleasure.

[/quote]

Of course do not "scruple" of course...:)


#9

[quote="John_of_Woking, post:1, topic:204833"]
Ok so here it is... an utterly embarassing subject to post.

Opinions please

My wife and I had a rare opportunity alone and she decided it would be an opportune moment to renew the sacrament so to speak.

Now just before the act while she was washing/getting prepared I was alone in the bedroom and decided to look at some innocent photos of me and my wife... but I did this to whet the appetite so to speak. At the time I thought it was ok to do since we were about to engage in the act (and she is my wife afterall) but now I look back at it as a basically selfish act and I should have waited till she was there before consenting to arousal through proper physical communication. I wouldn't normally look at my wife *that *way unless we were going to engage in the marital act.

Shall I go to communion tomorrow? Is this a sin of grave matter. I honestly wouldn't have consented to it if i thought it was sinful. Now I think it was..

[/quote]

It is not a sin to think about that which you are permitted to do nor is it a sin to admire your wife's beauty.


#10

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