Being charitable and being annoyed


I would like to have more charitable thoughts towards someone in my life whose behavior annoys me. Do you have any practical advice?

Thank you.


Focus on the good things they do or the good times you’ve had together. Also try to talk with them more and you will get over the little things that they do that annoy you.


What sort of relationship is it? (sibling, co-worker, etc)
That makes a huge difference:)


For me it takes prayer-I don’t know any other way it works.


I second fhansen. The only thing I have found is to pray for the well-being of that person.



From Divine Mercy In My Soul:

(1628) During Holy Mass, I saw Jesus stretched out on the Cross, and He said to me, ‘My pupil, have great love for those who cause you suffering. Do good to those who hate you.’ I answered, ‘O my Master, You see very well that I feel no love for them, and that troubles me.’ Jesus answered, ‘It is not always in your power to control your feelings. You will recognize that you have love if, after having experienced annoyance and contradiction, you do not lose your peace, but pray for those who have made you suffer and wish them well.’


One more quote, this one from the Complete Spiritual Doctrine of Therese of Lisiuex. This one has been a source of inspiration for me in dealing with difficult people:

“Therese deliberately sought the company of the sisters who, on account of their imperfections, were shunned by others, or those who pleased her least. One of these was very difficult to live with on account of her crotchety character and disagreeable manner. Therese forced herself to treat her “as she would the person that she loved most.” At times when she was tempted to give a sharp answer, she treated the Sister’s rudeness with a friendly smile. This puzzled the nun so much that she asked the Saint one day why she was so attracted to her. Therese replied that she smiled each time they met because she was “glad to see her.” In recounting this incident later, she added with a twinkle in her eye: “Of course I didn’t tell her that I was acting from a supernatural motive.” We learn from the Saint herself that her charity towards that Sister gained for her so great a grace that, from that time, she had no further difficulty in practicing that virtue.

When others complained to her about the unpleasant character of that nun and the annoyance they suffered on her account, she replied: “Be very kind to that Sister. It is both an act of charity and an exercise of patience. We must not allow our own souls to be upset and yield to interior bitterness. We must sweeten our minds by charitable thoughts. After that, the practice of patience will become almost natural.” (Rev. Francois Jamart, O.C.D., Complete Spiritual Doctrine of St. Therese of Lisieux, pp. 96-97)


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