(I hope this is the right forum…)
I’m soo conflicted about something and I’d appreciate any advice…
I’m taking an English course in university; just a general first year English course on novels… and some of the reading material really criticizes Christianity, so the class discussion today basically consisted of ‘how bad Christianity is’. It makes me really angry and I feel like I’m sinning and don’t know how to be charitable in these situations. I have to sit through two hours of this (AND take notes). By the end, it caused me so much stress that I actually felt sick.
In addition - and this is even worse - one of the REQUIRED books for the course is absolutely horrible cause parts of it might as well be pornography. The language can’t get more explicit. I read a bit of the book and it shocked and disgusted me - and afterwards I felt that I had offended God even by reading such material. My mistake was not throwing the book away right from the start. It’s absolutely VILE, I can’t even describe it. I can’t imagine writing an essay about it or answering an exam question.
I thought of just dropping the course, but it’s already past the drop/add deadline, so if I cancel it, the cancellation would appear on my transcript…and the money might be lost - I need to ask about this and will do so tomorrow. (there would however be no academic penalty).
what should I do? I feel like it’s a sin to read such descriptions (filling your mind with garbage and inviting occasion of temptation…) but I can’t avoid it cause it’s required. Should I just get a chapter by chapter summary of this “novel”. lol. I CAN’T read it in good conscience, as a Catholic.
i’m so upset it’s on the reading list and I hope it wouldn’t lead anyone into sin
I can’t even say anything cause everyone at my university probably thinks that if you’re “over 18” it’s oki to read stuff like that… that’s so wrong! it is not! grr…
just wanted to express my frustration
am I putting God second by being hesitant about cancelling the course? (for the reasons I described)
I thought about how God sees this book, and how He saw me reading it, and it made me so so sad