Being told not to attend a particular parish


#1

I am divorced and annulled. My ex-wife falsely accused me of sexually molesting my daughters since our divorced. She has never filed charges regarding the molestation. Although she has spreaded the rumor to others. She has also refused visitation and turned my children(6) away from me

Because of all of this she has had others tell me that the parish that we had attended refused also to accept me as a parishoner. They serve a Tridentine Latin Mass every Sunday and any other parishes are a little distance away for me to attend. Can one be told which parish they can attend?


#2

You should sue her for slander. Have your name cleared. Lets see what the church says about her then.


#3

#4

How terribly sad to be falsely accused of something like that!

Can you ask for an appointment to talk with the parish priest?


#5

You are free to attend any Catholic Mass you want to attend.

You are automatically a member of the parish in whose geographic boundries you reside. Nothing can change that.

If you are attending a parish other than your geographic parish, you may register but aren't required to do so.

Don't let the soured relationship with your wife get in the way of your attending and participating in the Mass of your choosing.


#6

I’m pretty sure if the church you attend is on private property whoever owns it can tell you to go away.
Regardless, if it’s only a “little distance” to go somewhere else why would you keep going where your wife and daughters attend? Guilt or innocence aside, is it worth the bad feelings it’s sure to cause just to assert your right to go to Mass where ever you want?


#7

[quote="kimbaichan, post:6, topic:213186"]
I'm pretty sure if the church you attend is on private property whoever owns it can tell you to go away.

[/quote]

That would be the Bishop. I am reasonably sure that the Bishop has not told the OP not to attend Mass at this particular parish. :rolleyes: But even if he had, that would not change his status as a parishioner if he (the OP) lives within the parish's geographical boundries.


#8

[quote="magic_stick, post:2, topic:213186"]
You should sue her for slander. Have your name cleared. Lets see what the church says about her then.

[/quote]

Something like this. You don't want your girls growing up thinking their father was a child molester, and you don't deserve to be thought of in this way if it's not true.


#9

Naturally, I am not in a position here to judge who would be telling the truth....you or your former wife....so I wont comment on that part...
However...being a survivor of incest myself from an immediate family member....it would be natural if she knows or believes that you have molested your children... for her to not want you near your children in that kind of enviroment. as you already know. As well....they may not want to see you in that case either.
She is not allowed to keep you from your children though....so if you are innocent of her claims...I would suggest getting a lawyer and getting the right to see your children. Thats the only thing that will resolve this issue. If you have molested your children....she will then have to tell this to her lawyer and it will be his/her obligation to make sure you cannot see your children without some sort of supervision.

I will pray for all involved to get this matter resolved according to Gods will


#10

IMO, I think having a meeting with the parrish priest would be what I would do. Tell him what is going on, and that they have told you that you cannot attend your church. ( She has broken and is breaking several commandments in her effort to get back at you, and she has no right to tell you where you can and cannot go to Mass. Boy,she's a piece of work!). Ask your priest how to handle the situation, since you have no way to defend yourself. Just be truthful with him, and be open to his suggestions.

If you are innocent of molesting your children, why in the world are you not fighting her charges? She keeps shooting her mouth off because she isn't getting any consequences for doing so. Have your lawyer slap her with every kind of charge he can. The threat of consequences may be enough to staighten her up without you actually having to go to court.

Whatever you do try not to get angry and bitter, because then you will become her. Keep being out of the gutter she's in, you are way better than that. Your kids need to have ONE adult in their lives. If she is not abiding by the court order for your visitation rights, fight for them. Your kids need to know that no matter what their mother spews forth, that you did everything humanly possible to fight for them.

I will absolutely keep you in my prayers, you've got a hard row to hoe there my friend.


#11

Who applied for the divorce and the annulment, your wife or yourself? What were the* grounds*** for each of of these?


#12

Ordinary Parishoners have no right to tell you where you can worship.

Contact the Priest and explain the situation.

I do not know if you are innocent or guilty; but what I can say is either way you have a right to go to Church. Even if you were guilty the Church is built upon forgiveness; with three of it's seven Sacraments removing sin (Confession, Baptism, Anointing).

If you are innocent I would certainly speak to your Priest and ex-wife about this; if your wife refuses to stop her behaviour and apologise I would pursue Legal action.

If you are guilty go to confession and your sins will be forgiven (completely confidentially).

Either way - ordinary parishoners do not have the right to persecute you; they are being decidedly unchristian and uncharitable. Their opinions of hate do not reflect Catholic Charity - don't let bullys and hypocrites persecute you.


#13

[quote="aceballos, post:1, topic:213186"]
I am divorced and annulled. My ex-wife falsely accused me of sexually molesting my daughters since our divorced. She has never filed charges regarding the molestation. Although she has spreaded the rumor to others. She has also refused visitation and turned my children(6) away from me

[/quote]

This sounds like a situation for your lawyer to handle.

[quote="aceballos, post:1, topic:213186"]

Because of all of this she has had others tell me that the parish that we had attended refused also to accept me as a parishoner.

[/quote]

**She **had others tell you this? Uh, ignore her and them.

Speak to the pastor privately and tell him what is going on.

[quote="aceballos, post:1, topic:213186"]
Can one be told which parish they can attend?

[/quote]

No.

And, if your rights within the Church are being violated contact st-joseph-foundation.org/ and they will help you.


#14

With all due respect (and fill me in if I am wrong) it seems your main concern is which church you are allowed to attend and not the fact that you can't see you children. I think priorities need to be straightened. For now, attend a different church and get back into your children's lives. By not asking 'how can I see my children' I am left to wonder what the real issue is here.

CM


#15

Not always,:rolleyes: b/c the OP stated they offer a TLM every Sunday I wondered if it was something other than a diocesan chapel.


#16

OK, I am on sort of the other side of the coin. My ex molested his steps from a former marriage. Considering he had been involved with youth ministry as far as speaking, etc, you are darned straight that I indirectly (for legal reasons divorce is not final) went to the Virtus coordinator. Here is the sad truth even though one of the children is now and adult and has made a full complaint- they cannot do anything except watch him until full charges are brought by that county. Now, here it is - where children are involved I would have been remiss had I done NOTHING. However - EVERYONE does not need to know. The sad part is in his secular job he teaches children. Charity, Charity, Charity. Please, speak to your pastor - you, your children, and possibly your wife are the only ones that can possibly know the truth. Maybe just for the sake of peace a schedule can be worked out where you can attend a TLM mass opposite of their mass attendance and everyone can be happy.

Not one of you owns the Church - The Church is the Bride of Christ.


#17

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