It’s the same for oblates; however prospects can also come to any meeting, and once in the formation program you can come to meetings. The regulations in general do tend to differ as monasteries are very independent from the order, in fact Benedictines quip that it isn’t an order but is in disorder
It’s a bit more complicated. First of all liturgy is regulated at the level of the monastery. There are 4 main schemas for the Benedictine LOTH. Schema A is the original Benedictine schema. However the Monastic Diurnal is out of date except for monasteries that use the pre-conciliar version of the Benedictine schema, of which there are a few (Clear Creek in the US for one). Schema B is the most popular schema as it meets the requirement in the Rule of the entire psalter being recited in one week, but is much lighter and with no repetitions (150 psalms chanted per week instead of 250). The other two schemas are on 2-week cycles.
Our abbey uses schema B and I have their old choir books from before they changed them (they are still valid, just not very convenient). Our former oblate director also put out a condensed version containing only Lauds, Vespers and Compline, with simplified propers and commons, for oblates.
Our Oblate Constitution allows us to use either the monastic schema of the abbey, the 4-week Liturgy of the Hours, or another licit schema. Depending on how busy I am, I switch between the Monastic and LOTH. Since I chant the Offices in Latin (LOTH) or Latin (Lauds and Vespers) and French (the rest) for the Monastic Office, I dedicate quite a bit of time to the Divine Office. So even though I’m retired, I can get quite busy especially in summer and will switch between the two as required; I tend to try to at least complete a week in one or the other before switching. Like the monks, when I travel, I simply recite the LOTH. To complicate matters more, our abbey (for Vigils aka the Office of Readings) uses a 2-year monastic lectionary instead of the 1-year one in the LOTH; there are more monastic sources for the patristic readings as well.
The Rule however has a lot of flexibility built in, and oblates and even monks, now use it as inspiration and not legislation as there have been a few changes in society and the Church since the 6th century. Moreover the meaning of “oblate” was much different back then (children gifted to the monastery by their parents). The modern meaning of oblates was established in the 19th century by Dom Prosper Gueranger at Solesmes.
We do have a couple of remotely located oblates, after all Canada is a big country and there are few Benedictine monasteries, but now it is expected that prospects be able to commit to coming to the abbey once or twice a year. I go twice a week as I attend Mass there and volunteer in the library a day a week.