Trying to make sure I ask this the right way. I have been discerning a lot regarding a possible secular vocation. One issue that I have been struggling with is I am a husband and father to young children, and I worry about activities that will take me out of the home - one 3rd party group meets about 45 min away at night, and I’d pretty much be going there from work and my kids would be asleep by the time I came home. Another meets on 1 Sunday a month for a big chunk of time, and I’d be faced with not attending Mass as a family on the Sabbath, which I feel takes away from my primary vocation as head of the family.
From what I have been reading of the oblates, they seem like - I want to make sure I dont say this the wrong way, but the best fit in a lot of ways. I keep seeing different members and different web sites stressing that you do as much as you can, and primarily stay faithful to your primary vocation of taking care of your family. And while there is definitely a sense of community, as there are with 3rd orders, I get a sense that it is more individualized - I mean, I read Elizabeth Scalia’s post on 3rd orders and oblates (she is the latter), and she states that she is hundreds of miles away from a monastery, and privately renews her oblation every year. I dont want to state it the wrong way, but I get the sense that its not as overly focused on community as the 3rd orders. Does this seem acccurate?
This would not be my principal reason for joining, but I definitely find it less daunting than some 3rd orders, which just seem like something i would not have time for until after my kids were grown.
Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.