Best friend just told me he's gay


Hi all,

I hope you can help me out with this. My best friend just told us that he’s gay and is dating another one of my close friends (who is Catholic). Now I know the Church’s teaching on homosexuality and how chastity (for everyone) is the way to go, but I don’t know how to tell them this without hurting them and pushing them away. As a Christian I know I have a duty to the truth and it will definitely come up in the near future.

I have heard stories about gay couples living together chastely while under supervision of the Church, but I don’t know if there is any merit to them. Is this true?

I could really use some advice on how to proceed with this. I want them to find Christ, but I will hate myself if I end up causing them to resent Christianity. Please pray for me and my friends.


Just wondering. Do you also chastise your heterosexual friends whose sex lives you disapprove of?


Well they all know my position on it, so yes, but they were extremely nervous about telling us. They couldn’t find the courage to do it for 2 months. I just want to make sure I don’t mess up because of how many people believe Christians and homosexuals to be against one another.


You can ‘not mess up’ but declining to offer your unsolicited opinion of their sex life. Especially given that they already know what your opinion is.


If they know you opinion and were even nervous about telling you, then what’s the point of “beating” it into them?
We can’t force people to do what’s right. And they already know.:shrug:


This Blog is run by a Celibate Homosexual Catholic. The first task (I think) in these situations is understanding, which you might learn from the blogger there.

I think one of the most important posts for you to read is this one:

Christi pax,



First of all, you didn’t mention if the couple are involved sexually or not…so for all you know, they may not be, right? “Dating” doesn’t necessarily mean “sex”.

Second…if at least one of them is Catholic, they already know the church teaching on sex before marriage and same-sex sex, so I don’t see how your reminding them of this will enlighten them.

Third…how do you know they haven’t already “found Christ”? They may feel very close to God and Jesus, but not agree with the Catholic teaching on homosexuality or premarital sex.

Lastly…I’m surprised that you didn’t notice that someone so close to you–your best friend!-- is homosexual.
You didn’t sense this at all?



You should make your stance on the issue clear, but do so with compassion. After all - the only reason you would do so is because you legitimately care for the spiritual well-being of your friends. Hopefully they will see this. And if not, it could hardly be your fault.


I was never planning on just walking up to them and discussing their private life. What I do know is that they will ask what my views on it are, and I want to make sure I don’t mess up when that time comes.


Well I know my one friend is a Christian, but the other one is not. I should have worded it better. I am afraid that if I am not careful in how I speak I will push the one who isn’t a Christian away.

Well all of my other friends were also quite surprised. They kept it very quiet that they were together.


The one friend who is Christian…he may belong to a church that accepts same-sex relationships and marriage.
I agree with you…you should tread lightly when you are talking to not just one of them, but both of them.
It’s good for friends to express themselves and be honest with each other, of course. But they obviously have different beliefs than you and if you say anything harshly, they may be very hurt and upset.
It sounds as though they want you to accept them as a couple…so you all have to figure a way to do this that would be comfortable for all parties. If it cannot be done, your friendship with them may be headed into challenging waters.
It’s something you might all have to discuss out in the open.



If your close friend is a Catholic then he already knows he is committing a grave sin.


celebrate his gayness as a gift. i think people can be in gay relationships and still be good christians as long as they do it with good intent.


I don’t know what the bloody hell I just read.


Do you mean the abortion story he wrote?

Christi pax,





It is very strange and cruel and unusual, but yet so is abortion. The scary part is that I don’t think his prophecy regarding the future of the Culture of Death is necessarily false nor exaggerated…:frowning:

Of course, this is off topic. Sorry :smiley:

Christi pax,



You cannot be a good Christian by rejecting God and that is what committing a mortal sin means!!


Dear maroney123:

One of the issues with discussing homosexuallity in our culture is that the LGBT (which is a political label) have indoctrinated homosexuals to be excessive sensitive to anyone who refuses to jump on board the “gay lifestyle” choo-choo train of tolerance (even before my conversion, I was still uncomfortable with LGBT for this reason).

They don’t want rational discussion, and instead they continuously create a smokescreen of blant assertion and bad arguments and strong feelings (not to deny their feelings aren’t completely justified: despite my disagreements with homosexuallity I know it is a harsh thing to bear) that can be used to dismiss any sort of moral standard at all.

In fact, the ultimate standard homosexuals who have been lost in the fog judge by is the acceptance of the homosexual lifestyle or not. They look at a product and think: does this company accept gays, or at least is neutral on the topic? If there is any hint of “homophobia,” than they reject it wholeheartedly. That’s why they can never accept Church teaching; they judge not by God’s standards, but by LGBT ones. LGBT is right, and anyone who dissents is wrong and must be reformed! St. Thomas says that Lust distorts the mind and rational thinking: those on the LGBT train have been mentally poisoned by the exhaust.

You must understand that this is the sort of mindset many homosexuals breath in from being on that train. They judge arguments not on correct premisses and logic, but on conformity to LGBT. In other words, LGTB is only tolerant of itself. Don’t let the speaches about tolerance fool you.

Now, I know many homosexuals are sane enough not to buy into this fully, but this mindset seems to be unconscious in most minds regardless. I tell you because this is a warning: homosexuals might not being willing, to be openminded to the possibility of them being wrong. At least they might proclaim a moral relativism to dismiss Church teaching. In that case I don’t know if it is worth discussing the topic. That’s your call: I’ve never been in your shoes.

I guess the key point I’ve been impliedly hitting is that LGBT homosexuals are nihilists, at least in regard to sex. They don’t believe in objective meaning. If you can convince them that sex has a meaning, a purpose, and that if sex doesn’t have a meaning than how could anything else, you might be able to save their soul.

Of course, prayer is always the best thing :thumbsup: I just want you to better understand the sentiments and state of mind of the train wreck of LGBT. One wrong move and your friend will hate you (especially since he trusts you enough to tell you this), and he will build a (unfounded) prejudice against Church teaching that She is irrationally intolerant of gays, which just makes the situation worse for them.

Christi pax,



Are you serious?
IMO, almost every word you write here is so staggeringly, completely off the mark, I don’t know where to begin.

…the ultimate standard homosexuals…
…LGBT homosexuals are nihilists…
…the “gay lifestyle” choo-choo train of tolerance…
…homosexuals don’t believe in objective meaning…

Don’t you have any gay friends or family members? You are describing the thoughts, motives, and feelings of an entire group of people in minute detail, and yet…it sounds as though you’ve never in your life known or had a conversation with a person who is gay.

You mention indoctrination; I implore you to take a closer look at that word.


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