Best thing you learned from mom or grandma


#1

I am 25, newly married, and very eager to be a traditional housewife. I am fascinated by the passing down of traditions and sage advice from older family members... I get sad when I look around and realize that our culture is becoming more and more full of young people that know how to text and play DS but never learned how to sew or bake homemade bread... Even more sadly, I feel like one of them, because I didn't get taught many things that women back in the 50's or so would know how to do. I wish I had spent more time with my grandmothers!

Anyway, I am curious... What was handed down to you by your parents or grandparents, that you are so glad you learned? Or was there any great advice that people from an older generation taught you that you plan on passing to your children (if you have any)?


#2

I learned from my mom not to be afraid to learn new things and improvise. She was a wonderful cook, and yet she still took cooking classes and tried to pick up ideas in restaurants. There is nothing she made when I was little that she made the same way by the time I went to high school.

There has been a great revival in interest in cooking and canning and the other "traditional" arts, so much so that the techniques are better than Grandma dreamed of, in terms of hygiene. Also, the available ingredients are very much different--condiments and herbs Mom knew nothing about, leaner meats, different ideas about what is healthy. Mom's flexibility has been a great asset. If you want to learn these things, there are so many books and classes to learn from. You just have to get in there and do it.

The best thing I've learned from previous generations is to have some affection for the faults and foibles in our marriage and to consider everything either of us does as a joint effort. When you're in it for the duration, that's the attitude you have to have. As one older gentleman put it: "I look in the mirror every morning and say to myself: 'Well, you're no prize, either.'" I see many couples around me. Some can cook, some can't, but even now that is how the happy and durable ones do it.

Be aware, too, that it is folly to try to "do it all." My mom and traditional aunts and great-aunts go to Costco and use some of the ready-made foods. They can't make it cheaper, and they have other things to spend their time on.

The other thing that I have learned is that the ladies in the Altar Society who keep the church clean and have the bake sales are a great group to bond with. You don't even have to have any of them as a particular confidant. It is just nice to hang with other traditional mothers, particularly when it comes to valuing what we do without taking ourselves too seriously. It's like dropping into an episode of "Lake Wobegon" sometimes--the disagreements among sweet Christian ladies over whether the gravy for the church dinner should be flour or cornstarch can take on fierce partisan proportions!--but I find that charming, too! :D So if you're going to be a traditional mom, spend some time volunteering at your parish in the other group-female activities. It's great.


#3

The best thing I've learned from previous generations is to have some affection for the faults and foibles in our marriage and to consider everything either of us does as a joint effort. When you're in it for the duration, that's the attitude you have to have. As one older gentleman put it: "I look in the mirror every morning and say to myself: 'Well, you're no prize, either.'" I see many couples around me. Some can cook, some can't, but even now that is how the happy and durable ones do it.

I love this! Thanks for the advice.:)


#4

Self reliance. If there was something I wanted or wanted to do Mom would only help as much as necessary to help and would never do it for me. My sister and I were both dumfounded when discussing her first vehicle purchase and one of the kids we went to school with said "just have your parents buy you one".


#5

May I answer, even though I’m male? (Just checking)

My memere taught me to never be ashamed for being myself. Just because the world might look at you as eccentric, your beautiful in the way God made you-He made you special. Stand up for yourself, admit when your wrong-but never apologize for being you.


#6

[quote="EasterJoy, post:2, topic:225882"]
As one older gentleman put it: "I look in the mirror every morning and say to myself: 'Well, you're no prize, either.'"

[/quote]

:thumbsup:
That is priceless!!!


#7

[quote="Rascalking, post:5, topic:225882"]
May I answer, even though I'm male? (Just checking)

My memere taught me to never be ashamed for being myself. Just because the world might look at you as eccentric, your beautiful in the way God made you-He made you special. Stand up for yourself, admit when your wrong-but never apologize for being you.

[/quote]

That's lovely advice but I caution just a little that sometimes that can be taken a little too far. I've heard that same type of reply"excuse" given for practicing homosexuality etc.

I'd say it's wonderful advice as long as who you see yourself to be is inline with God's Moral teachings!


#8

I'm glad my mom taught me to sew. I've made a business out of it, and look forward to making our baby and future children items as well.

My mom doesn't cook really, but my aunts like to, so I think I have that gene, as I'm glad I like to cook. My grandma used to bake, so perhaps she helped pass down some of that as well.

Quite honestly though, I'm glad my parents are together and have shown me that marriage does work. They've been married for 27 years now and it's such a blessing.


#9

My Mom:
Taught me how to cook
How to have a hunger for learning new things
To realize that not everyone is like me
To have compassion for others who are not so fortunate
To be strong, and that if you set your mind to it you can do anything
Always have a means of taking care of yourself - you may not always have a man to do it for you
How to keep house (although she leaves me in the dust on this one...pardon the pun :p )

My Maternal Grandmother:
Taught me how to bake bread and make homemade noodles
How to sew
That to dance around the house and sing is a beautiful thing
Family is so important
Part of being a good wife is being patient

My Paternal Grandmother:
How to make awesome chicken paprikash :)
That her love for me, and for her three sons, was endless
Patience, grace, and strength in the face of illness
To always be a lady
To never compromise on your core principles

~Liza
(you notice the thread of food in my family on both sides - that is no coincidence) :D


#10

My aunt and grandmother were horrified to learn that my mother had never taught me to sew (she's a terrible sewer) so one holiday they taught me how to sew and cross-stitch. My mother taught me how to cook.


#11

1) A love of reading.
2) Courtesy pays.


#12

My Nonna used to say in Italian: “Chi lascia la via vechia per la nuova, sa che perde, ma non sa che trova.” Translated in English it means: “He who leaves the old ways for the new, knows what he has lost, but not what he will find.” Interestingly, it could be applied to the traditions of our Church in some ways.


#13

[quote="BrokenFortress, post:8, topic:225882"]
I'm glad my mom taught me to sew. I've made a business out of it, and look forward to making our baby and future children items as well.

My mom doesn't cook really, but my aunts like to, so I think I have that gene, as I'm glad I like to cook. My grandma used to bake, so perhaps she helped pass down some of that as well.

Quite honestly though, I'm glad my parents are together and have shown me that marriage does work. They've been married for 27 years now and it's such a blessing.

[/quote]

Ah, you're so lucky! I really wish I was taught how to sew (other than sewing a button back on, lol). I bought a sewing machine and am going to learn from a dvd... I want to be able to make clothes for my future children. And old-fashioned Christmas dresses for myself and my sisters!

And you are right about your parents' marriage being such a blessing. My parents divorced after 21 years of marriage... But I am blessed to have such a wonderful, strong Catholic husband, so I have no fears of divorce in my future!


#14

My mother has taught me a lot. The true meaning of courage, for starters - starting a new life in a country halfway round the world. That you should know what's really important to you, and stand up for it. The importance of a decent education combined with dreams for the future. What a really good marriage looks like. And she instilled a firm faith in me as well.

My grandmother taught me it's never too late to make something of yourself. She went to university in her thirties, having had four children, and so was able to start a new career that helped the family at a time when two incomes were really important.


#15

[quote="kristleful, post:13, topic:225882"]
Ah, you're so lucky! I really wish I was taught how to sew (other than sewing a button back on, lol). I bought a sewing machine and am going to learn from a dvd

[/quote]

How funny that you say this, Kristle ... I received a sewing machine for Christmas, and I just started a sewing class yesterday :bounce:

I can sew buttons and do basic repairs by hand, but I've never used a sewing machine at all, so this is a whole new world for me! I'm really excited though ... I bought my first pattern yesterday, along with some fabric to make a simple top for myself :D

I would think learning from a DVD would be tough to do! I googled just to see if there were any classes near you, and found this:

mamapedia.com/article/sewing-lessons-in-keller-tx

Sorry to totally derail your thread, but I was just excited to see that you're also a sewing neophyte with a new machine to learn on, like me :D


#16

I learned mainly by watching:

Crochet - a family friend
Baking Bread - my mother (now I make it better than her and is always trying to get me to make)
Baking - grandmother and grandmother (still need to learn my g/mother's Christmas cake)
I can't really sew but I can do a hem and buttons, my grandmother tends to take over. A few months ago I asked her to show me how to make a skirt (was making a new one for my birthday to wear to church), She started, showed me the correct way to hold the material, and mark it,pin it, etc, next thing I knew it was finished and waiting for me when I got home. She can't help doing things for us, hence the reason I mainly learn by watching.

I can cook and love to try new recipes.
I learned my Faith from my great grandmother, everyone is saying I am so much like her these days. She went to daily Mass, I go to daily Mass (except Saturdays). She was always at prayer, I try.


#17

My Grandma (Mom's mom) is a more liberal kind of lady. On my 21st birthday she took me to a casino and tried to teach me how to gamble and curse properly :D (it didn't stick, but I can't say she didn't try).

I learned painting, sewing, gardening, knitting, and cooking from my mother. I also have to credit her with passing on the talent of making melt-in-your-mouth fudge :)

My Granny taught me to make the best meatloaf and biscuits~n~gravy the planet has ever tasted.

Granny also taught me what "true love" was; My grandad passed when my dad was 7 years old and Granny never felt the need to remarry, she never seriously dated anyone. Granny raised Dad by herself but made sure he knew all the stories about his dad. Because of the way Granny and Dad spoke about Grandad, I might as well have grown up with him there. It made me want to wait for a man like that :thumbsup:


#18

The importance of taking care of oneself and knowing not to take things for granted. :stuck_out_tongue:
Simple as that is, it’s a principle that has come to govern a grand portion of my life.


#19

I think we can learn a lot from all the women we are blessed to know!

My Aunt taught me how to bake!! Something I love to do! It's a hobby, it's a stress breaker. It's something I do with my children. I'll be forever thankful that she shared this with me!

A dear friend of the family taught me to cross-stitch when I was 14. Still doing it all these years later, but now I sell some of the things I make.

DH's grandma- taught me to look at life simply. She took each day as it was and enjoyed it.

His other grandma has taught me to enjoy my children ( and have lots of them :D ) She has shown me how to be a good wife!

My MIL has shown me how to someday be a good MIL:) She loves me like I'm her own daughter.

Now, my mom. She taught me how to have fun! Jitterbugging around the kitchen, playing games. She always had time for me.
She showed me how to be a good daughter by taking her parent's into her home and caring for them.
She taught me how to make some of my great-grandmother's Hungarian recipes.
She shared her love of reading and her love of books!
She was a wonderful grandma- when she knew the girls were coming over, she always got any work done before they came so she could just play with them. They painted her nails, did her hair. They loved being with her.
She showed me how to suffer with grace. She never complained when she was dying -never! When someone asked her if she thought "why me" she always said, "why not me?"
She came to a Christmas breakfast with my girls, when she was so sick. I tried to talk her out of it, but she wouldn't let them down. It was a tradition with them and she knew it would be her last year. So she came, in so much pain. Her feet so swollen ( a rare side effect from chemo ) that she needed help walking and couldn't wear shoes, but somehow got slippers on. She smiled and laughed with them. What a woman.


#20

[quote="Morwenna, post:15, topic:225882"]
How funny that you say this, Kristle ... I received a sewing machine for Christmas, and I just started a sewing class yesterday :bounce:

I can sew buttons and do basic repairs by hand, but I've never used a sewing machine at all, so this is a whole new world for me! I'm really excited though ... I bought my first pattern yesterday, along with some fabric to make a simple top for myself :D

I would think learning from a DVD would be tough to do! I googled just to see if there were any classes near you, and found this:

mamapedia.com/article/sewing-lessons-in-keller-tx

Sorry to totally derail your thread, but I was just excited to see that you're also a sewing neophyte with a new machine to learn on, like me :D

[/quote]

Wow, thanks for the link about sewing classes! I am very interested in the lady that teaches sewing in her home... You're right---learning from a dvd does seem like it would be challenging, but I work odd hours that makes it hard to take classes from any of the usual places like fabric stores and such. I was in Hobby Lobby just the other day and saw advertisements for cake decorating classes, and I got really excited about that, too... Until I realized they were right during my work hours. Sigh.

Anyway, I think I'm going to send this lady an email. I would love to have an actual real person leaning over my shoulder telling me why I just jammed up my machine!:D


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