Welcome to my world, or at least the first 6,200 days.
Before being given away, I would be thrown (literally) into my crib, slapped repeatedly about the body, and accompanied by screaming that people heard a block away. After haven been given away and still as an infant, more yelling and screaming, beatings, and in appropriate acts with my penis. It only escalated from there. Witnesses have verified all of this.
There were beatings with hands, rolled newspapers, brooms, bottles, rulers and yard sticks; belts; cigarette burns; hands put on a hot stove to teach me not to put my hands on a hot stove; strangulation; kicked; alcohol and food thrown in my face; and, threats to cut off my penis. To teach me not to ask for anything, if there was a particular piece of clothing I liked (e.g., a jacket), it would be destroyed in front of me because of an “infraction.” Some of this done in front of other people.
Then, there was the verbal stuff: “You’re a jackass.” “You’re a simpleton.” “Your real mother was a whore.” “You’re an SOB.” “You’re an idiot.” “What you need is a 2x4 upside the head.” “You’re no d___ good.” “You’ll never amount to a d___ thing.” “You’re a liar.” (Was made to eat soap on this one). “You’re a thief.” “Can’t you do anything right.” “You G__D___ SOB, I ought to take care of you with a butcher knife.” “Why in the h__ I put up with you I’ll never know.” “I’ll ship you off to reform school.” “I’ll ship you off to prison. They like young boys there.” “I’ll ship you off to your real mammy. Her boyfriend will straighten you out quick.” (The “F” word hadn’t come into use yet; hard to tell what else there might have been).
Despite in being determined, as a child, I had a high IQ; I had extreme difficulty concentrating and barely passed in school. Nearly every activity or association that I tried I was either never accepted or thrown out of. I was beaten up at school, ridiculed by classmates for the condition of my clothing and “stupid remarks,” even made fun of by some of the teachers. I was 14 and still having difficulty controlling my bodily functions. Thankfully, the soiling my underwear stopped around then, but the bedwetting didn’t stop until my late 20’s. I ran away a number of times (for a total of roughly 6,000 miles) always to be returned to the same setting. (Think I didn’t get some punishment then). I was in juvenile court several times (Lord only knows what it would have been if the drug scene had kicked in while as this was going on). Oh, yeah, and all of the above was “my fault because I was such a sinful person,” or, at least, that’s what my Protestant “pastor” told me.
For those who might have some difficulty relating, go volunteer with a Child Protective Services Unit for a time. What happened to me is only the “tip of the iceberg,” as recent events in national news demonstrates.
I’ll close with the first words of my original post.
My comments on this are not an endorsement of abortion nor an agreement with the posted statement. I do not seek to insult you or in any way add to the distress it has caused you.
This being said, I’ll simply say that I can understand the statement; the thinking behind it. You see, I was one of those children. And now, later in life, I still wonder if it wouldn’t have been better, forgive me merciful Lord, if I hadn’t ever been born.