The Lord is love and His power is love. He made people whose similarity to Him is such that we might act apart from Him when we put distance between us and His love. And now, in the wee hours of night I feel that distance; but it is not of my willful choice. My sleep is interrupted by the fear that His love is not enough to cover the doubts and concerns in this life. I ache in concern for the evil acts by my former spouse that have separated from me all but one of my children. Her enmity I cannot bridge though I have tried. He is visiting her this week, and I won’t allow myself to accept God’s power as the answer to my fear of his being turned against me, too. So, in these restless thoughts, I ask for prayers for the power of His love to fill me, to calm the storm of doubt, the fear of loss.
I reach out monthly now as a reminder of my love for the three who will not respond since last year. Loss of the last one’s frequent contact would be devastating.
And yet, You Lord know my heart. You know my love and the forgiveness in me that only You can provide us. Your Son, my Lord Jesus is love’s answer to all distress. May I know this night and the next that earth’s troubles do not obviate the love which created it. Troubles provide the cracks in my sometimes impenetrable humanity which allow Your grace and love to enter. May I allow them now and always to do so, I pray, for myself and those who need that grace and love most. Bless my children and may Your love enter their hearts and that of my former spouse. Amen.