Bigotry...

This is honestly going to be me just venting something that’s been bothering me for awhile.

I work in a large office building downtown in a fairly large city. On the first floor there is a little shop that carries mostly snack food items and drinks. The same lady is there day in and day out, I believe she’s part owner.

One day a few months or so ago the man in front of me at the checkout happened to be black and was dressed “thuggishly” (pants halfway to his knees, basketball sneakers untied and loose etc.) She gave him his total and he was a few cents shy of being able to pay it without breaking a larger bill, he turned to me and asked me if I had a nickel which I gave him. He thanks me and leaves. She then proceeds to complain to me about him having done that and said that she’s been asked the same thing before and was upset that she’d apparently been accused of being prejudiced when she’s said no. Seeing her so angry I couldn’t help but say to myself that she probably is.

Since then there have been at least three occasions where she confirmed this for me. Once I was a bit shy of my total and offered to come back to my desk to get change. She said “just get it next time” which I found perfectly acceptable as I do go there at least a few times a week. However, when I went down there later that same day she scoffed at me when I presented her with my change and told me to forget it. She’s done that another time since then but today… today is what really made me angry about it. I got myself a Big Texas Cinnamon Roll :thumbsup: and some Peace Tea (breakfast of champions) and gave her $2.10 when my total was $2.06 she gave me one of my nickels back. Sure it’s only 1 cent… but knowing how she’d have reacted had I walked in off the street in different clothes it really bothered me.

Again… there’s no point to this… I just wanted to vent. I think the only thing worse than a bigot is someone who doesn’t even realize they are.

I think it’s a mistake to presume bigotry…perhaps this person is just angry at people all the time…there’s a hundred other explanations for such behavior.

It’s understandable to vent over such things, but virtuous to follow it up with prayer and a kind word next time you see this person.

As I stated… I’m there several times a week I did fail to mention that I’ve worked in this building for over 2 years. I’m not being presumptuous. I’m drawing a quite reasonable conclusion based on several things that I’ve seen… the story I told is just the thing that has really made it start to bother me.

You might be seeing a problem that doesnt exist. Im not sure why the guys color or dress sense is relevant. Regular customers get treated differently to those that are not, frequently. It happens to me. I shop at a local store - they’ll take less rather than have me break a big bill, they’ll give me my cigarettes and magazines and let me pay when Im next in the store, they’ll charge me cost for bulk buys for parties. They’ll also refuse someone they dont know if they come up a bit short. It’s normal and natural.

Sarah x :slight_smile:

Just because something happens often does not mean that it is right.

She may have been reacting to having to be “politically correct” with a black man dressed as he was than with the man being black. I get disgusted with the whole PC thing too and I don’t have a bone to pick with anyone because of race. It angers me, for example, that black neighborhoods will “hide” gang members from the police by keeping quiet when one of them murders an innocent child who got caught in the middle. It angers me because they are believing what they’ve been told by their leaders–that they cannot trust the police and that they are all victims. The result is the death of an innocent child becomes mere “fall out” instead of the horrendous crime it actually is. There’s all kinds of breast beating and weeping and carrying on, but no one will turn in the perp for fear of being targeted. And so the cycle continues unabated. Now, if that makes me a bigot, so be it. But, it’s reality no matter who tries to ignore it. So yes, I feel nothing but disgust at political correctness that keeps people bound in the slavery of second class citizenship, and so should we all.

“regulars” often get treated better than someone who is rarely in or never been in before.

My son works in a coffee shop. I’ve gotten to know quite a few of his coworkers. I will often stop by to buy a coffee, but many times they will provide a coffee “a gratis”. The person behind me usually has to pay.

Fair? :shrug:

It’s not that the person in front or behind me is being discriminated against. It is just that I am a regular, they know me, and I get a perk now and again!

I’m not talking about being politically correct… I’m talking about someone treating someone differently than someone else because of outward appearances.

Whether it was the color of his skin or the clothes he was wearing she treated this man differently than she treated me. I don’t care how it’s sugar coated or justified… it’s still bigotry.

Without trying to recall and recite every example I will say… again… that I’ve witnessed things like this repeatedly from her this most recent occurence just happens to have been the most recent and most obvious.

It doesnt mean it is wrong either. It’s just human nature. Many of us just instinctively do little things for those we know. It doesnt automatically follow that when we dont do the same things for those we dont, we are somehow being bad, or discriminatory, or prejudiced.

Sarah x :slight_smile:

Frankly, no… it’s not fair and technically it is discimination when you consider the more broad definition of the word being “the process by which two stimuli differing in some aspect are responded to differently”. You were treated differently than someone else in a scenario that would not normally allow it the reason why does not justify it.

However, even if we accept this justification it’s a bit different because you have a family member who’s an employee and many companies do offer “family discount” type things and I’m willing to bet if they don’t and the owner new he/she may not be too thrilled with it. This woman doesn’t even know my name.

It actually saddens me to see how many people think there is justification for the kind of behavior I’ve witnessed from this woman. Maybe I’ve not conveyed it clear enough but it’s blatantly obvious to me and to the people I work with.

I think ANYONE who wears their pants halfway to their knees looks like an idiot. I guess I am a bigot. :smiley:

“It’s just human nature” is a lame fall back argument for the justification of an immoral act. And again… it is technically by definition discrimination and again… this womand does not “know” me.

I think ANYONE who wears their pants halfway to their knees looks like an idiot. I guess I am a bigot.

No. You’re a bigot if you treat that person differently because you think they look like an idiot.

Are you saying she never gives a black person a break? How would you know this unless you monitored her 24/7? Did you insist she takes the full amount from you, or did you take the nickle back and thank her? If it bothered you so much, why were you a willing part of it in that you let her shortchange on your behalf?

Sarah x :slight_smile:

What you cannot see is her motivations. You don’t know what makes her “tick” or why she seems to have an aversion to some people and not others. IOW, and I say this kindly, you are judging her by what you think makes her do what she does. You may be right, but even if you are what can you do about it? You’re not this person’s conscience and you can’t legislate people’s feelings. She may not hate blacks, she may be afraid of young black men dressed like gangsters. I’m with her there. Anyone, black or white, dressed in gangster fashion is flashing a lifestyle of violence. People react differently to fear. Some are servile, some are brave, and some get angry. She may be one of the latter. Still, neither of us can know. You may want to ask her–nicely–why she reacts as she does. She may tell you, but even if she does, what can you do about it? I think you may want to think about it to decide if you should step in or not. But if you do, be prepared to be told to mind your own business. I’m not saying that’s what you should do, but that’s what she might tell you. :wink:

You said youve worked there for 2 years so it’s a good bet she knows you as a regular. It’s not immoral, and human nature as a fallback is anything but lame. That very nature got us to where we are now. When you consider what we had to master through the course of evolution, it’s a fallback Im glad to be part of.

Sarah x :slight_smile:

If I sell my used car to my brother, is it discrimination on my part if I sell it for less than if the buyer was a total stranger? If you’re on a bus and someone accidentally pushes you from behind, are you gonna react the same if it’s a grumpy old man who doesn’t apologize, or if it’s a beautiful young woman who blushes and says, “I’m so sorry!”, with a smile?

It is still discrimination. In some cases (the selling of your car) it is perfectly understandable.

However, consider your “bus” example as a job interview. Sadly I’ve seen this in action… the department I used to work in would have women hired in over better candidates because they were essentially “eye candy”.

Are you saying she never gives a black person a break? How would you know this unless you monitored her 24/7? Did you insist she takes the full amount from you, or did you take the nickle back and thank her? If it bothered you so much, why were you a willing part of it in that you let her shortchange on your behalf?

From what I’ve seen (which is more than I care to) no… she doesn’t. Yes I’ve insisted and she argues and frankly I don’t have the time or patience to argue with someone like that.

You said youve worked there for 2 years so it’s a good bet she knows you as a regular. It’s not immoral, and human nature as a fallback is anything but lame. That very nature got us to where we are now. When you consider what we had to master through the course of evolution, it’s a fallback Im glad to be part of.

It can be argued that it is “human nature” for a man to want to sleep with as many women as possible. Doing so is anything but right.

I would like to add that I will admit that this COULD simply be the way I’ve perceived things I’ve seen… but given the number of times I’ve seen it I really don’t think it is.

We have laws and customs and norms that deal with that. But that same nature is at work when we want to give those we love, or are related to, or know, or feel sorry for, a break. And thats a good thing in most cases.
If you have evidence she’s a bigot or a racist, then there will be procedures in place to report her and have her dealt with.
Otherwise, I think you’re making a mountain out of a molehill.

Sarah x :slight_smile:

Good you recognise that. Of course you will see it more often if that’s what youre going out to see, consciously or unconsciously.

Sarah x :slight_smile:

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