Bipolar spouse...feeling down :(

#21

I don't look at these forums much because posts like this get me upset. All I can say is that bipolar disease MUST have medical treatment and it is very treatable. And cognitive therapy teaches how to catch the symptoms early when symptoms start to happen so they can be kept to a minimum. We don't neglect to treat diabetes or heart disease. We shouldn't with bipolar. Please try to get him to seek treatment. Also, there is a bipolar group on the group pages; click on groups above and look it up. It's quite helpful.

I say this in charity and will again unsubscribe from this thread. I did before but it popped up on my e-mail again.

My prayers.

#22

I should clarify...he does have treatment. He just forgot to take his pills and then was off them for a few weeks, because once he misses a few pills then he isn't capable of remembering to take them.
The trouble is that he concealed the spending from me even after he got back on the pills. I'm feeling pretty bad about this.

#23

Taking a “break” on the meds is often called a “lithium vacation” for whatever reason it is done. The symptoms creep up so slowly as the percecption of the MI sufferer changes and they don’t even notice. Some OCD, esp. compulsion goes hand and hand with these symptoms and a bipolar sufferer. This is why most mood stabilizers treat depression, anxiety, ocd, ptsd…treating the shifting symptoms of bi-polar making tweaking the meds difficult, but doable. Then checkups to further tweak the meds or even change them as I have found some lose there effectiveness. The flipside is that overdosing on meds have made me in the past dulled, seemingly uncaring. You have to have him find that balance that pushes the comfort zone a bit so he can still work on coping skills a therapist can help with. It is not easy and can take time as this all can shift easily. Samson

#24

[quote="phoooiee, post:22, topic:201075"]
I should clarify...he does have treatment. He just forgot to take his pills and then was off them for a few weeks, because once he misses a few pills then he isn't capable of remembering to take them.
The trouble is that he concealed the spending from me even after he got back on the pills. I'm feeling pretty bad about this.

[/quote]

I fill a 7-day pill case for my husband each week to make sure he takes his meds. It's a lot of effort, but better than dealing with the effects of when he forgets. Lucky (or unlucky) for us it's easy to notice by his mood if he misses a day or two. You might want to help your DH remember by organizing his meds in a pill case like that.

#25

Living with a bi-polar is very difficult especially if there are children in the household. One has to wonder the effect this has on them.

Please do protect yourself financially too. Having joint accounts with a bi-polar is not suggested as they do not make sound financial decisions---as you have already discovered.

#26

[quote="phoooiee, post:22, topic:201075"]
I should clarify...he does have treatment. He just forgot to take his pills and then was off them for a few weeks, because once he misses a few pills then he isn't capable of remembering to take them.
The trouble is that he concealed the spending from me even after he got back on the pills. I'm feeling pretty bad about this.

[/quote]

I know it is a very difficult life and a very painful one at that. Your emotions go up and down and you feel like you are on a roller coaster ride. If you don't have a spiritual director or a counselor, you should get one for your own sanity and peace of mind. I am not sure if my dh has bipolar or not, but he acts as if he does and that is why I say it is a difficutl life and yes it is hard on the kids. It is hard on you. You get depressed and feel that no one understands what you are going through. Phoonie, you are not alone. Please go to Holy Hour as much as possible and pray to Jesus for strength. He is by your side and has been there always. Pray for your dh's healing of his heart and soul. Something happened in his past to cause this. I know with my dh it was child abuse. A priest told me he needs prayers of deliverance. The medications help a lot too. You have to take care of yourself though and have separate bank accounts too.

You are in my prayers, sweetie, and you are never alone. May Our Blessed Mother pray for you during this difficult time.

#27

Thanks so much!

I'm really worried right now as I get low blood sugar and of course all this stress makes it go haywire. I'm not feeling good about being responsible for 2 kids with low blood sugar- thankfully it's been a lot better these last few days.

My husband seems to sincerely realize how wrong he has been and he has been really helpful. I know that when he conceals these things he is doing so because he wants to protect me and try to take care of it himself without worrying me. I just wish he (and others) wouldn't do things like that, since it can only do more damage. It doesn't help anyone.

#28

Your in my prayers and I feel bad for all that you are going through. My husband likes to spend a lot of money too, but I am in control of the money and have to tell him constantly, “Do you need that?” He still brings home a lot of junk that he doesn’t need but at least they are not very expensive things. I have to take money aside for a savings for us or we will not have anything for our future. Sometimes he jokes arounds and says to me, “I sure hope you are saving money behind my back for our future.” He doesn’t know that I am. My mom did it and I am doing it. He likes to spend and I have to save. We don’t need to spend all our paycheck. Unfortunately, the largest purchase that allowed myself to be talked into was an RV and now we are suffering and need to get rid of it and sell it below what we owe on the loan. It is new with little mileage and for health reasons, we have to sell it. That was a mistake and his largest purchase. He had to have it and it was his dream. I was stupid to allow it. Oh well, we can’t go back in time.

I will pray for you dear. I know somewhat of your suffering. You have to take care of yourself and your blood sugar. My dh has that problem. You have children to take care of. It is great that your dh is helping though. :wink:

#29

I am so thrilled to have found this thread. My husband has been diagnosed bipolar. It has been 4 very long years. I have three awesome boys 9-6-6 and have been trying to "protect" them from the ugliness of this illness. I am feeling down and tired. I struggle with what is the best thing to do for my boys.

#30

Glad you posted!

#31

I am getting very emotional reading everyone’s experiences and knowing that I am not alone. My husband of 7 years has recently been in and out of inpatient treatment centers for Bipolar. When he gets out of the facility its been a difficult adjustment for him. When he has his episodes he says things that are so hurtful that it feels like someone tore my heart into pieces. I know that its not him, but its the last thing I need after a difficult day.
Our marriage has been rocky, but I know that God put me with him for a reason. My faith is number one to me. My husband doesn’t practice and I pray for his calling every night. I am asking if there is anyone else out there that can pray for him, I would so greatly appreciate it. God Bless you all!

#32

I’m glad you posted (this was originally my thread from years ago). I will pray for you and for him!
If it helps, I suppose I should share that my husband (now of 10 years) is in a greatly improved situation and within the last year has entered RCIA. He certainly still has bipolar symptoms but they are greatly reduced and during long periods he has no symptoms at all as long as he both stays on his medication and goes to Eucharistic Adoration once a week.
PM me if you ever need to talk, any time :slight_smile: May God be with you during this difficult time. He will give you whatever strength you may lack :slight_smile:

#33
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