Birth control and kids

I know that we shouldnt use birth control ,because God is master of life and death and I 100 percent agree with it.But there are some questions that I simply have and if Someone can clearify it to me it will be Great.
What if I have two kids.And I do not have enough money for another one(maybe it Sounds harsh.),but if we arent in a good financial status to raise one more kid,what then?

I am a little bit worried because i know the People that have a lot of kids(6-7) and what if I or my wife just cannot give 100 percent effort and time for each one.

I am not marriaed yet,but this questions are in my head.If anyone can give some advice or something
God Bless you

We have four kids. We “aren’t in a good financial status to raise one more” and then there is the matter of all my c-sections making it increasingly less advisable. But we do not use birth control. Learn about different methods of natural family planning and abstain during fertile times in the cycle. Nothing beats trust in God and cooperation in His plan. We didn’t think we were in a good spot to have 4 and when the 4th one came along she changed our life for the better. If a fifth child came along I’m sure that little person would be one that once I meet I can’t imagine my life without.

As far as giving them all attention, it takes effort, but they also have the gift of eachother that will last from now until long after we are gone.

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Thanks for your story and advice

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Here is some advice from someone who wished he could go back in time. We worried about money, work, and everything else early in our marriage, thus the birth control, now I’m 52, wife is 40, and we wish we had that time back with the faith we currently have. The years really flew by before we finally had the faith and the mutual openness to conceive a child. We finally did last Christmas, but lost our daughter due to a miscarriage. Believe me, the pain is really amplified looking back knowing we waited so long and was to selfish and lacked faith that God would provide in the past. Here we are, running out of time, wishing we had a house full of children to raise God some good saints. We both know the love we would give to our child would be greater than any worry about money. You just can’t get that time back, it’s gone forever. :frowning: Tears in my eyes.

Birth control is a curse, it’s a scourge, it’s poison, Satan’s concoction. I literally hate it, and oh how I regret being fooled by the secular world that it was needed.

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I am sorry for you,your testimony opened my eyes.It is the God who will provide.
Dont know what to say,I can just imagine your pain…God Bless you and your wife.

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Thank you and God bless you too. And one more thing I can add about it. All those years of worrying about money and using as excuse not to have children, then after my conversion I ended being sent by God to feed a homeless encampment every Wednesday evening, always 15 to 25 or so there. I didn’t have money yet I always told God it was His idea so please help. Sure enough on the day’s I did not have money to feed them I would get paid unexpectedly, get a huge tip from a customer, or have a store make a donation. Every time too.

Your name on here says it all, In Jesus I Trust!!! Perfect screen name. We have to really believe it and live it.

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In Jeus WE trust!

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It is perfectly reasonable to expect responsible parenthood of yourself and your spouse. That means not bringing more children into the world than you can provide for. This includes physical and emotional needs, as well as education and medical care. Do not expect your kids to meet the emotional needs of each other that only a parent can meet. They need to feel, emotionally, loved and cared for by their parents.

The Church only allows NFP or abstinence. If you are trying to be a good Catholic, those are your choices. Make sure your spouse and you are on the same page.

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I have three full siblings, and five “half” siblings, only two of which survived (after birth, and are now teenagers). I grew up quite poor. Don’t you think I would rather have my siblings alive? I think my mother would have rather been able to see those kids grow up. Here’s some advice, if you don’t want kids, don’t do the thing that makes them , my mother wanted kids.

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I think it is good that you are thinking about this but I also would like to tell you that until you get married and try to conceive it is very hard to make plans. I always wanted to have children but I found a spouse relatively late and we experienced infertility (had a daughter after years and against the odds). It is not uncommon to realize that God plans and your plans are not always the same. Infertility, miscarriages or unexpected pregnancies are more common than you could expect.

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I will also add to the above that unless you are on the verge of homelessness, you will find a way to afford the children. Most working class people, like we were, think they really can’t afford kids…then you have them and make do. Children are also great motivators for getting better jobs and finding ways to budget responsibly and find ways to get a little extra cash.

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Just a note from a mother. Since you have more than one child, you cannot give 100% efforts and time,a nd even money to each one. Love can multiply, but not the material goods and time. And that’s not what is expected from parents with two or more children.

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Don’t forget that you will discuss this with the prospective spouse before marriage (and not afterwards). Don’t marry someone who will deny you children.

Thanks everyone for replies

i cannot agree more, and my advise is, if you marry in your late twenties or in your thirties is not to wait for having the first children after being married. Unless you have an absolute reason to do it.

Maybe a few months to have the time to install yourself as a couple in your new life and home, but not years.

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Then responsible parenthood would indicate you and your spouse need to do some discernment on your current position, whether you can welcome another child at the time, and if not then practice periodic continence (using NFP to track cycles) or complete continence.

One of my friends has 8. She was very sad when she could not get pregnant again in our 40s after trying for #9.

People with large families love their children. There isn’t anything to be afraid of. Those with large families know how babies are made, they welcome them lovingly.

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Such a beautiful post! Thank you for sharing such a private part of your lives. You’ve shown the truth of what Christ, the Apostles, and the Magisterium have taught us through the ages, proof that our Popes are still on track, and that we must follow faithfully the precepts of Natural Family Planning in order for it to succeed, and, above all, we must put our trust in Christ.

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Prayers for you, dear @DeSales111, that you overcome your grief—and conceive twins! :grinning: I’ll pray for you and your wife each day. :innocent:

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Thank you so much for your prayers, twins would be so awesome!!

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