I have two children, ages 2 1/2 and 1. Both were surprises but beautiful blessings. After my daughter was born I went on Mirena, a ICU that last for 5 years. My husband and I were practicing natural birth control but as you can tell it did not work. I know that it is against the church but I know if I get off birth control I will get pregnant again. It will be too much raising kids and getting my Graduate degree. Help! I don’t know what to do?
What method of Natural Family Planning were you using? Are you still in contact with your teachers? Have you followed up with continuing education?
Mortal sin is not worth any price, not even a graduate degree.
Learn NFP if you have serious reason to delay pregnancy.
We were using the Rhythm Method. When we first started I was not Catholic yet and I did some research on the internet.
The Rhythm is outdated and ineffective - I have no doubt it “failed” for you.
Please contact your diocese to see if there are any local NFP classes. The MODERN methods are:
etc… I know there are many more… others can fill in the blanks.
I agree completely with kage_ar - no graduate degree is worth continuing a mortal sin.
You know what to do or you wouldn’t have posted here.
Now how to do it, talk to your husband tell him 1st, then make that appointment with your Dr, sign up for some NFP classes maybe for a different method then you were using before talk talk talk with the instructor ask for lots of guidance, and most importantly find a confessional and a kind priest to talk with both you and your husband and really pray about the whys of the Churchs position on this. This is not an easy teaching for me either, you will be in my prayers.
My wife and I took CMBBT classes and tried the whole charting thing, but (1) we are lazy people and (2) can’t walk past each other in the hallway without her getting pregnant – she comes from hyperfertile stock.
We now have our second child, but 3 will be too many (did I mention we are lazy people?).
In short, “I feel your pain.” But the CMBBT spiel probably works if used “religiously” (get it?). Otherwise, anybody got anything better?
Oh my dear, you can do better then the Rhythm Method, see if you can find on e-bay or at the library a cheap copy of the couple to couple leagues book, Natural Family Planning, I was SHOCKED at how much went into NFP when I 1st started, I bet after you read a few chapters and see how much more is involved it will greatly easy your mind, and you’ll be excited to learn more about a better method.
There are several methods, as was posted above.
Yeah, yeah, but what’s the difference among them? Are there any that are less labor-intensive (please forgive the pun) but equally effective)? The names don’t tell me a whole lot, except that the penultimate one might have been invented in Wisconsin!
P.S. CMBBT = Sympto-Thermal?
I have never heard the CMBBT term, so, you would have to ask your instructors.
Google will bring up the web sites of the other methods.
Should you have just reason to avoid pregnancy at this time, it WILL take work and commitment to following the rules.
Sympto-Thermal looks at the cervical mucous, cervical position, and basal body temperature signs to track fertility during a cycle.
If “labor intensive” means remembering to take your temperature (3 seconds) and checking your cervix and mucous during the day when you use the bathroom (5 seconds) then yes. :rolleyes:
Yes, there is an initial investment of time trying to get to know your own particular cycle - but after that it’s second nature - literally taking SECONDS per day (about as much effort as it would require to remember to take your pill at the same time every day ).
Creighton: Medical Model Mucous only
creightonmodel.com/ (must meet with a teacher, though distance learning can be worked out)
Marquette: any above method with the addition of fertility monitor
Each method must be learned and actually FOLLOWED to be effective and that takes time and commitment.
Thank you all for the great information and humor. Good Bless!
I just want to add from an old gal’s perspective (and that of a survivor of rhythm, my 6 siblings and I are almost exactly 2 yrs apart in age to the day, my parents must have been very religious about it)–in my experience, and my daughers back me up, the most valuable result of practicing NFP is that it brings husband and wife closer together through the very process of learning and following the rules. Both are involved in the planning, in the decision making, in the discussion, in the nuts and bolts of doing it. When the husband is her accountability partner, helps record and track, learns with her, the wife comes to feel cherished and loved even when she is not at that moment his sex partner. He comes to know and understand intimately the rhythms of her body and it builds a closeness akin to but different from the physical intimacy of sex. They also find so many concrete but non-sexual ways of expressing love during those fertile times, and actually come to treasure, not dread those days.
Please take the time to learn one of the modern methods, now that reliable fertility determination is now possible, and open yourself up to a new depth of love and care for each other.
One of the key reasons I changed my stance early in married life–before I was the typical feminist it’s my body believer–is when in talking with other young Catholic college student newlyweds, it became apparent that half or more of the husbands did not know or care what manner of birth control their wives were using, just insisted that it be something or used condoms on their own initiative, even though most of those women hated that. It seemed so evident that such a divorce in thought and action on such a fundamental topic boded ill for the relationship. and so it has proven throughout the years as those marriages broke up, sometimes after 20 years or more, often because the wives felt used.
The Couple to Couple league is a terrrific resource. Taking temps is easy-peasy and even charting them is simple. Interpreting the rules can be tricky sometimes, but if you find that your wife’s cycles are regular and you can ‘mind your manners’ for a few days each cycle, things are more straightforward than you’d expect. I have very regular cycles and we didn’t have any trouble postponing and then conceiving as we planned. Later, I developed some issues with secondary infertility, so we were never able to have a 3rd (or more) child, but the 2 we do have are products of NFP.
I’ve never been a fan of NFP (at least not since we tried two methods, stuck to them religiously and got pregnant each time) - but then again, I have some major health problems have been allowed to use birth control. Anyway, if you are going to do this, I reccomend that you not just rely on yourself - check out an OVA CUE from Zetek- I’ve had friends that have used it - it’s generally used to help get someone pregnant but it helps both ways- it’s a machine that will check your saliva and vaginal mucous (if you want to make sure about a reading)- it tells you when you’re fertil and when you’re about to be fertile also when you’re not fertile. You can even get the program that will map out this stuff for you. I think this is far superioe to sometimes having to guess what kind of vaginal mucous you have if it’s thick or not etc. etc. - which is something that is invariably checked on with almost any form of NFP. It is a little pricey ($298.00) but then again, you’d spend that much easily on doctor’s apointments if you got pregnant again. Good luck and I hope this helps -
NFP is just as “evil” as a condom. You are deliberately picking a time when you probably wont get pregnant, because you dont want to have another child. Its so evil to not want another child! (that is sarcasm) And with a condom, you “probably” wont get pregnant as well. Its still leaving the choice up to god right?
Look- Do you really think god is really this tyrant who wants you to feel no joy in life? I dont think a condom is going to stop gods will. He gave us brains and wants us to act responsibly. He also gave us human urges- which will not prompt us into hell just because we have a “thought” or something.
What a life you guys are living. Even when your married you cant use a condom? Really? Are you kidding me? And it is because this barrier is preventing a potential birth?
Here is a scenerio- A friend wants to set me up no a blind date- but i choose not to. By not meeting this woman- i am deliberatly denying a potential birth I guess aren’t I?
God doesn’t want us to micromanage every facet of life. If you really believe in him- then his will will surmount all of our futile attempts to control our lives.
Catholic Church authorities have decided that artificial birth control is forbidden under any circumstances. Even if you have failing health, 6 children under the age of ten, two months behind on your mortgage and your husband has just lost his job. Artificial birth control is not permitted! But what does the Bible teach about birth control?
*"To begin with, we know God looks approvingly on the bearing of children. That is evident from Titus 2:3-5 and Paul’s exhortation to young widows in 1 Timothy 5:14. Psalm 127:3-5 says children are gifts from God and the man who has many of them is blessed. A large family involves increased responsibility, but children raised in a godly way will influence the world for good and for God’s glory. Nevertheless, nothing in Scripture prohibits married couples from practicing birth control, either for a limited time to delay childbearing, or permanently when they have borne children and determine that their family is complete.
However, not all methods of birth control are acceptable. Abortion, perhaps the most widely used “birth control” method today, is tantamount to murder (cf. Exodus 21:22, where the killing of an unborn fetus is punishable by death). Psalm 139:13-16 clearly indicates fetal life is human life. Any form of birth control that destroys the fetus or fertilized ovum rather than preventing conception is therefore wrong.
Other methods of birth control, including non-abortive forms of the pill, condoms, and the common surgical procedures of tubal ligation or vasectomy, do not pose a problem biblically. If both spouses are persuaded in their consciences before God that they should have no more children, no Scripture prohibits them from carrying through with that decision.
In our viewpoint, birth control is biblically permissible. At the same time, couples should not practice birth control if it violates their consciences (Romans 14:23)–not because birth control is inherently sinful, but because it is always wrong to violate the conscience. The answer to a wrongly informed conscience is not to violate it, but rather to correct and rightly inform one’s conscience with biblical truth."*
*Taken from gty.org (John MacArthur’s website)