Birth control

My wife is being put on a powerful headache medication and the dr wants to put her on birth control. The medication could be very bad for a fetus. Should I be ok with this or should we not have sex for years. I know about nfp but I want to “double up” on protection. Ps we have a child and we are looking into adopting another

If it is medically necessary, then go for it. Of course, birth control can fall into that category, but since she won’t be taking it for that purpose I don’t see any problem with it.

You have misread the OP’s post. The “birth control” (i.e. “the Pill”) is not being prescribed for the headaches. It is being prescribed for it’s intended purpose-- as a contraceptive. So, no, this is not moral.

Contraception is always immoral. So, no, you and your wife cannot go down that path.

Your choices are, yes, either total abstinence OR periodic abstinence through natural family planning.

Since you have a very serious reason to avoid children until she can be taken off the headache medication, you should look at the Marquette Method of NFP which uses an ovulation monitor, and use only the most conservative, post ovulatory times of the cycle for intimacy.

Please seek instruction in natural family planning. Being trained in a method is much different than simply being generally “familiar” with it.

Have you mentioned to your doctor that birth control is not an option? If he won’t work with that, I would suggest looking for a doctor who will work with the headaches through a different medication or other means…in addition, of course, to using NFP.

OP, you might also look at different causes of the headaches. My wife use to suffer from headaches until she stopped using soy, or any processed food that had soy in it. I’m not saying this might be what your wife is experiencing…just saying that there may be a cause for the headaches that the medication won’t treat (it treats only the symptoms).

Sometimes it is necessary to get a second opinion and it might be a good idea in your case. In general most physicians are very cautious of giving medicine to woman who are in child bearing age that can affect a fetus. Given the amount of progress in medicine over headaches and their causes wouldn’t it be worth the time and expense involved to get another opinion. There are many physicians out there who will work with your faith and your medical issues. I will pray that God will lead you to one.

If one requires birth control for serious and legitimate reasons, then the husband and wife must remain abstinate until the birth control is removed and not impacting the body chemically. From what I have read, your condition does not qualify as a medical necessity.

Like others before me, I suggest following NFP, seeking a second opinion, and more importantly, prayer. If a child were to be conceived, God will be with both of you. The medicines being taken may have to change to limit the risk to the unborn child. Please remember that all life is equal and precious in the eyes of God.

I also suggest seeking a strong and faithful spiritual advisor. They are of great help and can share and advise in your problems.

So if a couple doesn’t want to have anymore kids. Lets say they have 3 kids. The dad works 2 jobs, plus goes to school, mom is working 50 hrs a week, and is having some problems back home with her family, and their like I think we have to stop.

I completely agree on the say yes to life, but the issue is not just to have them, the thing is raising them the right way. Most couples who have their head on their head, they will see, you know with our income and our budget we can not have more kids. I mean what is a couple to do?

ABSOLUTELY NOT

Contraception is NEVER an option. It is an evil that cannot be sanctioned even for medical reasons. You never do a good through an evil.

Contraception is never medically necessary. One can abstain from intercourse, if there is a medical reason to avoid pregnancy. To “go for it” is a license to enjoy without the natural results that God built into sexual intercourse. Whereas NFP does not obstruct the natural results of intercourse, because there is no intercourse during the fertile period. The natural result of intercourse during the infertile period is no pregnancy. This method works along with the laws that God placed into nature.

My friend, if you want to “double up” on protection, then use NFP and prayer.

The very idea of using the term “protection” borders on the immoral. It makes it sound as if pregnancy is an evil from which one has to protect oneself. The negative here is your wife’s medical condition, not the pregnancy. If you love your wife, then you will make the sacrifice for her as Christ sacrificed himself for his Church.

Blessings upon you and your wife and your precious child.

First pray.

I’m sorry your wife suffers from headaches. Knowing my own pains from migraines - I know headaches can have huge effects on your whole life. (Although for some reason after our youngest child was born, I have very few any more. I also have learned when they will happen and how to lessen them.)

My guess is that your wife’s doctor sees a way to help her with the pains of headaches through a medicine that should not be used during pregnancy, either it is known to cause problems for the child or else there are no studies (and no drug company wants to conduct a study on pregnant mothers).

So, the doctor suggestions Artificial Birth Control Rx to make sure he isn’t prescribing this Rx to a mother who could become pregnant. He may have no education in Natural Family Planning.

Any fertile woman who is sexually active - can become pregnant - even on Rx. (Most women seeking abortion were using birth control when they became pregnant.)

With Natural Family Planning, you and your wife will learn when she is likely to be fertile. You will use the science of her body to know her body.

Contact Couple to Couple League. They will help you find a teaching couple in your area. ccli.org/

Look at the beauty of your wife’s body. ccli.org/nfp/stm-method/index.php

On another step, lets look at what artificial birth control (the pill) can do to your wife’s body:
Headaches!!! One side effect of the pill is headaches. Your wife does not need more headaches. Your idea to “double up on protection” can be harmful to your beautiful wife.

Here are some of the side effects: all.org/article/index/id/MjQ0OA
•bacterial infections (because the pill weakens the immune system)
•infertility-unable to ever bear children
•cervical cancer
•ectopic pregnancy
•shrinking of the womb (endometrial atrophy)
•mood swings and depression
•breast cancer
•blood clots
•birth defects in children conceived while women are on the pill
•tender breasts
•stroke
•weight gain

Look at how the birth control pill works - it tries to stop the woman from ovulation - it does not stop all ovulation. The woman ovulates - releases an egg ready to be fertilized.

It tries to change the mucus so the sperm have a lesser chance of meeting the egg - it does not always keep the sperm and egg from uniting.

Finally, because the egg and sperm can unite and the conception of a child takes place - the pill needs another way to stop the birth of this newly conceived child. The pill changes the lining of the uterus. Now the newly conceived life - your child - finds mom’s uterus to be a hostile place to implant. This new life, this offspring of yours, this child - can not implant in her mother’s womb and dies. The mother usually doesn’t know this has happened. Most mothers are never told by the doctor or pharmacist that this birth control drug takes her child’s life. Birth control pills act as an abortifacient - aborting the child before she can implant in her mother’s womb.

Have your wife to continue to look with her doctor for the reasons of her headaches; allergies to environment, sleep problems, hormonal imbalance (test can be run on her saliva by her doctor), side effects of other Rx, etc.

Please don’t subject your beautiful wife to headaches from birth control pills, she has enough headaches already. Don’t subject her to blood clots and strokes from birth control pills. Don’t subject her to knowing the two of you may conceive a beautiful child who her body will abort by using birth control pills.

The Church is beautiful in teaching us that our sexual union with our spouse is a total giving of ourselves to each other. Please do not let a doctor or anyone take away from you and your wife the beauty in the gift of sexual union. If you and your wife have a need to refrain from conceiving a child - please take a class in NFP from a qualified teaching couple. Pray and God will lead you to His plans for marriage and life.

Umm actually there are some inaccurate posts here.

On Catholic Answer Forums under the apologist section they say that if birth control is prescribed for medically necessary reasons (i.e. Endometriosis) and it is not the intent to contracept specifically then it is not immoral and a married couple does not have to abstain. They cite Humanae Vitae as evidence as well.

However, in this particular case, it would be used for contraception and not to treat the headaches and therefore there need to be other options to explore.

Of course since contraception in the form of the birth control pill has other complications involved it would be advisable to find another means of treatment if possible.

Exactly correct.

I agree with your double up idea of prayer and NFP. However, I wanted to point out on EWTN that birth control can be used for legitimate medical purposes when accompanied by complete abstinence! One certainly has no right to endanger a unborn child.
ewtn.com/vexperts/showmessage.asp?Pgnu=1&Pg=Forum4&recnu=2&number=623887

Where does it say complete abstinence? That is not accurate.

I certainly sympathise with you and the idea of financial crisis… not forgetting the mental and physical constraints that go along with it. Instead of considering the use of birth control pills and or artificial barriers (if indeed you are), I sugggest going to the Pope Paul VI Institute.
popepaulvi.com/

I ask for eveyone reading this thread to pray for this couple and all couples going through similar or worse circumstances.

I will say a Hail Mary for both of you and your family because Mary had the courge to say yes to God!

Hail Mary, full of grace.
the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

I have see yes differing opinions on that question (I am not commenting here directly on that question)

For example: ewtn.com/vexperts/showresult.asp?RecNum=426435&Forums=0&Experts=10&Days=2005&Author=&Keyword=pill+for+health&pgnu=1&groupnum=0&record_bookmark=3&ORDER_BY_TXT=ORDER+BY+ReplyDate+DESC&start_at=

ewtn.com/vexperts/showresult.asp?RecNum=608424&Forums=0&Experts=10&Days=2011&Author=&Keyword=the+pill&pgnu=1&groupnum=0&record_bookmark=15&ORDER_BY_TXT=ORDER+BY+ReplyDate+DESC&start_at=

ewtn.com/vexperts/showresult.asp?RecNum=599787&Forums=0&Experts=10&Days=2010&Author=&Keyword=the+pill&pgnu=1&groupnum=0&record_bookmark=4&ORDER_BY_TXT=ORDER+BY+ReplyDate+DESC&start_at=

Contact popepaulvi.com/ they are the experts and can often advise in ways that other doctors miss.

The couple is not required to have more children. They are just not permitted to contracept.

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