Bisexuals, SSA, and lying

Bisexuals have more choice than others. They experience attraction to the same-sex, but also to the opposite sex.

Say you have this hypothetical bisexual who is pretending to be straight. He doesn’t want to pursue men for a number reasons. First is the church, but there’s also the fact that homosexuality is frowned upon in mainstream society. He doesn’t the discrimination and negative attention homosexuals receive, and bisexuals usually don’t get much better treatment. So, as far as anybody else knows, he’s straight.

However, there is still some desire deep inside of him, whether he feeds it or not. Others eventually notice his ‘otherness’ and confront him about it. He has nothing to gain by coming out, since he has no intention to pursue men.

In this scenario, would lying be morally acceptable? Even dancing around the issue would blow his cover, since any legitimately straight man wouldn’t have any issue answering the question, and would answer swiftly.

If lying is unacceptable, what would you advise this hypothetical man to do? He doesn’t want the discimination that homosexuals receive, and he doesn’t want that kind of reputation, especially since he hasn’t, nor will he, do anything to earn that kind of reputation.

I’d tell them to mind the things that are theirs, and focus on their own concupiscence before my own. Let such terrible, snobbish, prudish nonsense be effaced from your friends and acquaintances. Whatever sins you commit in your heart are between yourself and God (via a priest). How about those inquisitive and curious people stick to their own lives? If you are ever forced in this situation, tell or ask them to do just that. :slight_smile:

“I am only interested in dating women”

Not a lie and end of story.

It’s not others’ business. It’s between you and God.
It must be very difficult.
I’ll pray for you at Mass today.

Exactly, It’s no one’s business but your hypothetical own. :slight_smile:

I cannot imagine how this questioning by “friends” might come up, but if it did, I wholeheartedly agree with everyone above. It’s none of their business and the best answer is given above, “I’m only interested in dating women” or “I want a wife and kids” or something that feels natural to say.

I might also just throw out there that this whole “identification” culture that we live in, where we feel compelled to identify ourselves by every little thing, can create this feeling that we’re lying if we’re not just all Jerry Springer out there. But there is much to your life that should be and can be just between you and God and your priest and/or spiritual advisor. There is no actual requirement that I’m aware of that states that you must label, spindle and box yourself up with some UPC bar code accuracy. And then tell everyone about it!

So tell this hypothetical male child of God that his personal life is no one else’s business!

when a person asks you something that he has no business asking you can so no.Its not lying .Its like when Nazis asks nuns to reveal the Jews they were hiding.They said no.The Nazis were in the wrong.

There are many possible truthful answers which would not “out” the person. There is no need to lie. I would be more concerned about being sure that he is attracted to women enough to sustain a marriage before entering such a commitment. It could be that a life of celibacy is more ethical, if that is not the case. Only this person can know that.

This person needs to be truthful with God in this matter, but what this person reveals is up to them. No need to lie. A person’s sexuality is between them and God. We as Christians only have a duty to live our lives in harmony with God’s will. We don’t have to wear any labels. If you want a wife and kids, tell them that. I am only interested in dating girls is also not a lie, I assume. Sexual attractions are not sinful, just actions anyway. Open up your heart to the Holy Spirit, read the scriptures daily, and don’t focus on the issue of “sexuality”, God always has a way of guiding us into his will. Have faith.

Bisexuals don’t always “pretend” to be straight. Sometimes they actually do feel like they are completely heterosexual. I can tell you this as that is what my “orientation” would be were I not Catholic. Since I am a Catholic, I am a person struggling with same-sex attractions.

Bisexuality is a gift from God. It is an expression ultimately of love for your own gender as well as the opposite. When younger, I was in a real quandary as to what to do with my attraction(s). Without proper regard, since i had no one to discuss it with, I experimented as a youth.

As an adult, I realized that sex is an adult activity and should remain between 2 adults in a committed relationship. I was blessed in a way that my attraction to men lessened as years passed and I felt no compunction to act on those feelings. I have been married to my wife for 10 years, though I still notice handsome men.

I teach my children to come to me about their attractions. No fear of judgment will be there, since our attractions are natural. But children do need gujidance as to how to interpret the world around them in light of those attractions. Sometimes, silence is a good defense. Honesty always helps everyone involved.

Given what I said, I do not endorse bigamy. Despite 2 attractions that does not equate into a committment between 3 people.

You are quite insistent about this “gift”. I am curious tho, I keep seeing that you have 4 children and you have been married to your wife for 10 years. If your children are all under the age of 10, while in the world would they be talking to you about attractions, same sex or otherwise? Also, from the masturbation thread, you indicated that you talk to your kids about this activity and encourage it. You also stated elsewhere that Catholic teachings are all well and good for children but once they get older, they need to be educated about (I can’t quote you directly from memory) the hateful erros of the Church.

I have to wonder why you even bother with the Church. So far, the only concession you’ve been willing to make to the Church is with her stance on abortion. and even there, in the masturbation thread, you mentioned that masturbation was useful in preventing “unwanted pregnancies”. An interesting choice of words for someone who claims to be anti-abortion and relativistic in every other approach. Hypothetically speaking, if your 15 year old son got a 14 year old girl pregnant, would that fall into a self-created, self-beneficial exception to your stance on abortion?

May I say, that I’m glad there is no membership entrance exam into the Roman Catholic Church. I think you would have me bodily barred from even entering church grounds. I don’t define my Catholicity based on a few aspects of my faith. Let’s spend a few moments on what I do believe.

The Trinity, the Blessed mother, the saints, the Mass and all the interactions that are taught, reverence for a Being greater than ourselves, the virtues of faith, hope, love, the power of prayer, the resurrection, Heaven and Hell, evangelism, charity, beautiful sanctuaries, music, and tradition, constant revelation of what our faith comprises, etc.
(This list is not all encompassing)

If my son did impregnate a 14 year old girl, he would be held accountable for his action by getting a part-time job and sending money for child support. When the two of them are of age, if they decide to marry because of love, all well and good. If not, then he needs to move on.

Though I have 4 children, they are my step-children. In fact, they are 19, 16, 13, and 11.

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