I have developed a habit of thinking “God Damn” against the Holy Spirit and I’m afraid today I committed a mortal sin by thinking it. What’s so strange is that today everything was going so well, I went to adoration, I was happily obeying God, experiencing consolations, and then I start thinking these thoughts against the Holy Spirit, like I’m playing around with this unpardonable sin. Could you please pray for grace to discern scrupulosity (because I have that) and the grace to repent of this sin?
I’m sorry that I keep posting new threads here, if you want me to I’ll stop. I’m trying to give my friends a break, and not always going to them for help when I get this way. It’s just really painful, and when I try to dismiss all of it as scrupulosity, it gets worse, because then I’m tempted to believe everything I’ve experienced has just been a delusion, including the good things, like consolations and spiritual guidance. This is why I’m going to RCIA, so I can have a foundation that’s stronger than what I have now, and so I can be connected to the true Church instead of fumbling around like I am now.