Blasphemy or scruples?

I confessed today, because of a sin commited right after the previous confession 3 days ago. Now I commited a sin again right after this new confession. This always happen to me, maybe it’s the scruples. But I’m not sure. I am scrupulous, and I was reading Aquinas today to find out if my previous sin was mortal. I found out that Aquinas is pretty strict and that makes me despair a little, because I find a lot of things I do are mortal. So I developed a certain fear to Aquinas, and a certain dislike of his style. I was reading today something I wrote and I liked a certain phrase, (not all I wrote, just this phrase) and had a fleeting thought that my style was better than Aquinas (I know Aquinas didn’t write for literary value). I also had a fleeting thought that Borges might like my phrase (ok, not very modest of me), and later thought of a joke Borges made of Aquinas (I think) consisted of “if an offense made to an infinite being makes the offense infinit then an offense to a tiger might make the offense to have stripes” and I, (but I’m not sure of this), thought was funny. Again, I’m not sure, I didn’t notice the “blasphemy” at that moment just an hour later when I remembered it (but I could rememeber it not accurately), and felt bad. I don’t think I thought of all the joke, just the part of the tiger, without the part referring to God. It is strange because I always felt that joke was ill to God so I disliked it, and I always respected Aquinas through Chesterton that was his great apologist, but after I actually read Aquinas and began to fear a little of his writings because of scruples I “understood” more Borges. Is this just scruples or it is blasphemy?. Do I need to confess it? (And begin the eternal loop of scruples again). Thank you and sorry if my English is bad. It’s not my first language.

You need professional help for your scrupulosity. Please talk to your pastor about regular spiritual direction.

I try to have a regular confessor but I go with the priest I find at the moment. They all know me :). What do you think about that particular case I posted above? Is it blasphemy?. I don’t remember if I consented it.
Thanks.

I think it might be best to ask in Confession with a good priest!

To be a sin, you HAVE TO KNOW it is a sin and do it anyway. TO be a mortal sin, it must be grave (serious) matter. As already said, I’d seek help for your scrupulosity. If this is truly an issue you are dealing with, your pastor or a spiritual director will be able to offe3r you some practical suggestions such as not seeking out “any priests” but just one regular confessor at agreed upon times. It would be best to get advice from him rather than any of us here on CAF

Thanks I’ll do that. But sometimes I can’t wait so I go to any other priest.
Thank you.

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