I was reading your post and I thought that I might try to shed some light on a few things regarding the BNP (again from what I’ve experienced and from what I know about the movement).
The BNP is not condemned by the Catholic Church, infact one of the Cardinals in the Philippines has the members of the BNP do nocturnal Vigil adoration at his place.
In regards to your future sister inlaw being vulnerable, I don’t think that has much or anything to do with her going to a BNP retreat. Each and everyone of us are more vulnerable at one point of another in our lives, and especially when we encounter something as tragic and tramatic as what your future sister inlaw had gone through. Is it not at these times when we are low, when we are down that we reach for God the most? Is it not at these times that that we look to Him for His mercy and love? I’m confident in saying that the BNP does not look for “vulnerable” people to ask to the retreats. We ask anyone and everyone if they want to go to a retreat, if she happened to go to a retreat when she was down, then all the better for her so that maybe her faith in God might be strengthened again.
For your brother inlaw who is supposed to MC at a your reception, that is a personal choice by that person and not by the BNP. If that person chooses some BNP activity over your reception, that person makes that choice on their own. I’m pretty sure that the those around him were not even aware of your reception, or his plans to cancel out on your reception to go to a BNP function.
But I can totally feel your frustration in this regard. I have gone through this a few times before, not with the BNP, but with other things where people would put things going in their lives before their family. To put it bluntly … it sucks, but again it’s something that is on the individual. If my brother were to back out of helping me move to a new house because he opted to go to a NY Knicks basketball game, would I blame the NY Knicks for taking my brother away from me when I needed help in moving?
I do agree with you that family does come first, I just wish that everyone felt the same way about it as you and I.
Can I ask you what you think the BNP’s views are towards modesty in regards to what people wear? Because it seems that you might think that the BNP doesn’t care what people wear and perhaps promotes dressing in inappriopriate clothing. As part of the youth in the BNP, we try to encourage people to dress as respectable as they can, especially because they are in the presence of God. Again, we can push this upon the individual as much as we want, telling them time and time again to please cover up, or even offer them a sweater … but it’s up to that person to change the way they dress. I do agree with you that they should be concerned about what they dress because it represents not only them, but their family.
Going onto your point of having fundraising events and where the money is going to. The events are to pay for the new multipurpose hall that has been built. Ate Salve does not receive any money from the members, even though some people have tried to give her checks and money, she will not take it.
In regards to the hall and mass, I think you might have been misinformed. One of the purposes of the new building was because during activities there was a need for more space, and also because the House of Prayer where we have Mass was also the same place where some other activities were being held. So to separate the two, and to keep the House of Prayer solemn and to keep it as a place to pray and meditate, the new building was built.
At times there is mass held inside the new hall because the number of people that are present just wouldn’t fit inside the House of Prayer.
Well I hope that help shed some light on things and I hope that you have a great wedding and congratulations!