anyone ever seen any books or statistics that show that children do better when raised by a parent that stays home with them?
No but I would love to find some. There are so many books, stats and news stories about how children of working moms do fine- but I still think nobody is going to nurture and love your child through out the day like you can. And I count myself has qualified to say that, having worked in a day care and seeing first had how kids are treated there. They are treated kindly, but as I said before, they are not nurtured and loved like their mothers would do if they were with them instead.
When I had my first child, I quit a high powered Wall Street job to stay home with him. It was very scary, and I’m sure people thought we were crazy for giving up so much money and staying home. I went to my local library and took out any book I could find about being at home. One book that I loved and I still have (after 12 years and four children later) in my collection is Iris Krasnow’s Surrendering to Motherhood. It’s not statistical, but just one mother’s account of her life after she had children, and how they changed her to the core. There are many books out there and I wish I could remember some more titles for you.
What about this book?
what about stay at home dads?
No books, no stats but I have 5 finely raised adult children;)
My oldest, a mother herself, is also a stay-at-home mom of 3.
Do you mean private daycare, group daycare,or family daycare? To me there is a large difference between them…
My mom was never home when I grew up, but I turn out all right. Then again, I had a nice supply of unmarried aunts to take care of me.
I second that. I hate how all daycares get grouped together in the stats. A daycare center provides more transitions than a home daycare where the baby/child is with the same provider for all the years leading up to kindergarten/first grade. Also, a daycare center has more children and is usually less expensive, a home daycare usually can have at the maximum 12 children (with an assistant, 8 without) ranging in certain ages (as the state requires which usually is 1/4 under 15 months, 1/4 15-30 months, 1/2 30+ months, or some other variation). Since a home daycare is run by one person, there isn’t any turn over because it is the person who owns the home who has the daycare. However, home daycare can be pricier than a childcare center (even though its more personable).
Children do well when they are loved and nurtured. Moms, dads, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, sisters, brothers - no one loves and nurtures like family.
Our society structure today in the US makes this difficult, used to be, families were extended - there was most always a family member around to take care of young children - now, we feel the need to distance ourselves from our relatives. When both parents have to work to make ends meet, they are faced with having strangers take care of children, this is expensive and in many cases not the best.
Find what works for YOUR family. I’ve been a working mom for most of my son’s life. DH and I have had staggered work schedules, care by other family members, care by a “Nanny” and organized preschool at different times. For the past 7 years, DH has been a stay at home dad. This is what works for our family.
Pray about it, and look at all of your options. Statistics are numbers, kids all unique!
I think that would be very difficult to statistically evaluate. Each child is unique and will thrive in a unique situation.
What do you mean by “do better”?
The ideal should be that one parent remain home with the children. This is an ideal though, so not everyone can accomplish it.
I remained home because I didn’t want a stranger handling the moral development of my children. A provider might discipline your child with time out but will they explain why something is wrong?
Also, my house if pretty peaceful compared to my working friends. They come home, cook dinner, and help with homework in an amazing short space of time. If someone is sick then one of the parents have to take time from work or send their ill child to the provider. Their lives seem unnecesarily hectic.
The best teaching moments can not be scheduled. For example, when ever my daughter brings home a worm-she loves creepy crawlies- we discuss the worm and the wonder of creation. Then I explain that she can not keep the worm or frog or beetle because it would be cruel to take it from its enviroment. So, at night she sets the creature free. I wouldn’t know about these moments. I can’t plan this moment.
I also have time to cook healthy snacks for my kids so they don’t get plump.
At the same time, I understand that not every family can have one parent at home.