Disclaimer: this is not about depression or suicide, please don’t mistake it as that.
But, I am quite bored with life. The only moment of the day I look forward to is when I go to bed, because at least I’m comfortable, even if I’m bored.
I dunno what it is about life that I find so unappealing. I feel like if I got hit by a car tomorrow, died, and ended up in heaven, I would have absolutely no regrets at all, except that I could not enjoy life more.
I feel like I just want to run away and join a monastery. (I don’t know, can you do that? Or is there some kind of trial/waiting period?) I don’t think life will be any more attractive there, but at least I can be pious while I’m waiting for my judgment in that scenario.
Anybody know what I’m going through? Please no “go out and make friends!” or cheesy type answers like that. I know that if I have hope in the Lord that my soul will end up OK, I’m just really fed up with living.