Boyfriend, Anxiety, Relationship - Quality time withdrawal?


#1

Whenever I'm with my boyfriend, I feel a deep sense of peace of quiet happiness and can't stop smiling. I know I love him. But then when I go back home or when I'm in school without him (we're both in college and he's my first boyfriend, by the way), I feel awful. I get horrible anxiety to the point where I start to sometimes tremble and my chest feels tight and I find it a bit hard to breathe. I just can't relax. I worry about something new everyday (ie. what if he doesn't really love me, how do I even know if I love him, what if I don't really love him, what if I'm only with him because I'm scared to be alone, what if he leaves me, what if I'm not good enough for him, what if either of us finds someone else, what if he stops loving me, who will I date next if I ever do break up with him, etc.) I know that many of these fears are irrational. But I still feel them so intensely. They go away but they come back again and they often consume me to the point where I have trouble getting my work done. I know that a few people have suggested that I might have relationship OCD. So whether that is the case or not, how do I fix this problem? Any help would be appreciated. Oh, and please pray for me and my boyfriend and our relationship. Thank you!


#2

You get counseling.


#3

Most colleges offer free counseling, in fact I think it is a even requirement of publicly funded US universities, so chances are it wouldn't even cost much or involve you going off campus to get some help with this.


#4

I'd suggest counselling. It sounds like you're probably suffering from an anxiety disorder/panic attacks of sorts.

Did you make friends easily as a youngster? Were you made fun of often? Do you have a good family relationship?

And tell your boyfriend what you're feeling if you haven't already. He'll probably tell you you're overreacting. You probably are. But you can't help the way you feel. If he loves you, he'll help you work through this. If he doesn't, this will quickly drive him insane. That doesn't mean hide it from him....it means LET HIM HELP YOU!


#5

[quote="hellosunshine, post:1, topic:234292"]
Whenever I'm with my boyfriend, I feel a deep sense of peace of quiet happiness and can't stop smiling. I know I love him. But then when I go back home or when I'm in school without him (we're both in college and he's my first boyfriend, by the way), I feel awful. I get horrible anxiety to the point where I start to sometimes tremble and my chest feels tight and I find it a bit hard to breathe. I just can't relax. I worry about something new everyday (ie. what if he doesn't really love me, how do I even know if I love him, what if I don't really love him, what if I'm only with him because I'm scared to be alone, what if he leaves me, what if I'm not good enough for him, what if either of us finds someone else, what if he stops loving me, who will I date next if I ever do break up with him, etc.) I know that many of these fears are irrational. But I still feel them so intensely. They go away but they come back again and they often consume me to the point where I have trouble getting my work done. I know that a few people have suggested that I might have relationship OCD. So whether that is the case or not, how do I fix this problem? Any help would be appreciated. Oh, and please pray for me and my boyfriend and our relationship. Thank you!

[/quote]

On one of your other threads, several people suggested that you go to the counseling office and talk to someone about these intrusive thoughts. You will get some practical help for stopping these obsessive thoughts and for getting on with your life. The "what ifs" do nothing to improve your life, worry and fretting only wastes your time and causes you stress. One technique that has helped me is to imagine a great big red "STOP" sign whenever I start ruminating on something, or I start worrying. Your thoughts are not in charge of you! You can take control of those thoughts and turn them into peace instead.

I would also go to adoration, as much as possible. You will find that when you are in the silent presence of the Lord, much of your worry and fretting will be eased. Guaranteed!


#6

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