Boyfriend discerning priesthood


I’m 20 and the guy I’ve been dating is 21. I was born and raised Catholic and he was baptized last year. He just told me that he feels called to the priesthood. I was devastated to hear this news because we have been dating for 2 years and I always believed he was the guy I would marry. The very first time I met him I knew he was for me. I feel so lost. More than anything I want God’s will to be done but I’m hurting so much. I’m giving him space and letting him discern his vocation. I guess I’m not really asking a question, but I really need some positive words.


God knows what will make us happy dear.
If your boyfriend is being called to the priesthood, that is what will make your bf happy in the long run.
If you guys get married, and he still feels that calling, he will never feel 100 percent satisfied or happy.


Praying for God’s will to be.


His interest in the priesthood may be an attribute of his new found religion. They would not accept him into the seminary so soon after his reception into the church. They will make him wait years. By then his attitude about the priesthood may have changed. He may be more interested in being with you. Unfortunately, it’s also possible you two may not be destined to be a couple and it may have nothing to do with his wanting to be a priest. Enjoy your relationship and see how it works out. If he is still persistent about his becoming a priest, you might have to move on if you are interested in a permanent relationship.
One last thought. Did he become Catholic because he was interested in becoming a priest. Ask him. That could affect your decisions too.


I was in a similar situation as I was discerning for the priesthood and had a girlfriend. 8 guys from my discernment group are now at St. John’s Seminary, while another joined an Order (He was Baptized and Confirmed 2 years ago). There’s a free book called To Save A Thousand Souls, which is required/suggested reading in some dioceses. The book is geared towards those men discerning the Priesthood. I found it to be helpful. For the good of you both, you unfortunately might have to (but not required to) slow down your dating so his head can be clear in order for him to make the right decision. Encourage your boyfriend to go to Adoration so he can spend time alone with God. Please pray for your him that he will be open and receptive to whatever God is telling him- whether it be the Priesthood, Matrimony or Celibacy. I will be praying for you both.



I am sorry to hear you are so sad. I imagine this must be very difficult for you. I think that your boyfriend should get a spiritual director and talk about this. Have faith that God knows what is best and would never allow him to be a priest unless he was called to be.

Also, for your knowledge, Catholic priests can be married men who became a priest after marriage in different Catholic rites. The Latin Catholic Rite usually prefers single men who become priests, but the Eastern Catholic Rites (and I don’t mean Orthodox Christian) ordain married men to the priesthood. Just be sure he talks that over with a spiritual director – **do not **move forward toward marriage until he has discerned with a conservative Priest and met with him for two years. Go to Adoration weekly, pray, go to Mass. Ask God to fill you both with peace and to help you trust Him. God wants the best for you!! He wants you to be happy. Let Him be the author of your love life. Your future spouse may be your boyfriend, or another young man. Remember to honor whoever your future spouse may be with your life right now.

Also, take heart. Jason Evert who is a popular chastity speaker fell in love several times before he met his current wife. Each time he tried to pursue marriage, but they ended up with another person. Even though the break ups were very difficult to go through, God had a plan for his future. Check out his website and if you look at the Answers section on the top of the page then click Dating > Q & A you’ll find a Breaking Up section and I think you should look at those questions and answers. They may give you more advice.

Take this opportunity to allow yourself to grow in the virtues and reach out to people who are in more need than you are right now. I know this is hard. :frowning:


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