You’ve been dating 1 and a half years. If he’s not a Catholic or at least going through RCIA seriously by now, it’s not going to happen. Time to cut him loose and find a new man to date.
As someone who is married to a non-Christian, I highly recommend that you only marry a Catholic.
My wife is Jewish & I love my wife very much and I love my kids. I wouldn’t want to do anything different because I wouldn’t have my kids.
However, I can honestly tell you that I will never say it’s OK to marry a non-Catholic. We married when I was away from the faith.
I can tell you this… you cannot convert your boyfriend / husband. Only God can convert him and only he can decide whether to open his heart to the Church.
You will never convert him. If (and that’s a big if) he ever converts, it will be because he opened his heart to God and the Church.
Furthermore, conversions which are only for marriage (not due to real conversion) often don’t work as well as you might think. The converted spouse often doesn’t really accept all the teachings of the Church. This is because they didn’t convert because the realized that Church is 100% correct and is Divinely created. They did it only to make the spouse and/or in-laws happy.
So please forgive me for being blunt, but I suggest that you find a devout Catholic man. Marriage is hard enough between two Catholics. When you one isn’t Catholic, it becomes a whole lot harder.
Marrying a non-Catholic is a hardship that you will create for yourself and your kids. And if the person isn’t even Christian, it’s going to be even that much harder.
If you would like ask me question for more details, please feel free.
God Bless & Godspeed
Thank you for the thoughts.
Thanks! I guess another question I have is how do I know if a conversion is genuine?
Listen to redbetta.
Ask him “If I were not in your life, would you become Catholic?”
I personally have questions about your whole relationship. When young people say they are “dating” someone, sometimes that means they are already practically living together. I don’t know if that’s the case with you, but you have to define the purpose of dating. Is it to hang out, companionship, have an intense relationship with someone? Or is it for the purpose of discerning if this person would be a good spouse for you?!
I suspect you have your answer.
I would personally not spend any more time once I knew the answer.
If I could advise you, I would say not to get too emotionally involved too soon, so your judgment is not clouded. Would you trust this person with your life, your health, your life savings, your parent’s life savings, the upbringing of your children? Because that’s what you do with a spouse.
I think you would know it’s genuine by his manner, his actions, and his interest in living his life as a Catholic, not just by his words to you, but by how it changes his life. And so far, he has not made any steps in that direction.
We don’t live together. I personally don’t want to do intimate things before I get married. This is kinda the first relationship I’ve been in. I’m 22 now.
Yeah I agree with your point of not being too accustomed to him such that my judgement is not clouded bcs I currently felt I dont know if I can make a decision. There is still part of me that hope he’ll convert genuinely to believe in God and the church.
You might try taking a step back and see how he reacts to that.
To be honest whenever i hear of somebody agreeing to convert to a religion in order to be able to marry someone, I never believe that it is genuine.
Thank you all for replying! May God bless you all. I didn’t expect to be showered with all these thoughtful words, let alone a reply. I just lost my best friend from cancer. I felt a little lonely and lately I’ve been thinking of my life so far, all the issues I’ve tried to set aside, and brace myself to make this post.
I guess I will try to ask for His blessings to strengthen me in this situation and bring myself closer to Him. Seeing all your responses, I realise that I’m still lacking in terms of understanding the whole Catholicism and this is something for me to work on. Thanks again to all of you
I would rather he said that he likes you very much but in all honesty he is not interested in converting. An honest answer.
He is making a promise with no intention of following through. It keeps you around longer and your friendship will grow to the point that you’ll be willing to overlook the whole Catholic thing.
How do you know a conversion is genuine? Because he’s already at church, going to the sacraments, he even has an envelope to put in the basket.
I think we were typing at the same time. I’m very sorry for the loss of your friend to cancer.
When I had my conversion back to faith, my prayer life increased, I started wearing a Miraculous Medal, my political views started to change & became more in line with the Church instead of the culture.
I want my kids to be baptized and to know Christ. I want to pray with my kids at bedtime. I would love to pray with my wife.
I now give back to the Church with both time & treasure. And when I can’t give the treasure I would like, I give more time.
I listen to Catholic Radio, I enjoy visiting different Catholic Churches, etc.
If the conversion is true, you will see a change in their behavior.
I pray this is helpful.
I wouldn’t go as far as saying it’s “never genuine.” But it’s rarely a 100% full conversion.
You cannot force anyone to be Catholic, or any other religion for that matter, because just wearing the name doesn’t change the heart. This is a matter of faith, his faith, and it must be genuine or else the reality is that he’s not really Catholic anyway. He’s exploring, which is not a bad thing, and still being accommodating to you by at least being willing to participate in your faith as well. That’s the situation you’re in and if it’s not satisfactory for the time being you’ll need to move on.
They’ll make sacrifices on their own if they a strong and genuine conversion.
May the Lord Bless you & keep you. May God send His Holy Spirit upon you and grant you the wisdom to recognize & do His will. And finally, may the Lord always allow you to feel His love and embrace.
Holy Father, we pray for all those who have cancer and who have died from it. We pray that the suffering those with cancer experience may be united with Your Son’s suffering on The Cross, and that those who have died from cancer are now with You in Heaven, but especially we pray in The Name of of Lord Jesus Christ for the friend of this young woman. May she spend eternity with you in Heaven.
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