I will pray for both of you, as often as I can!
It’s great that you are both aware of this NOW instead of one of you finding out fifteen years into marriage that the other has this problem.
The bracelet with a medal is a great idea. Do you have one for yourself as well? If not, a St. Benedict medal may be a particularly good one (as St. Benedict is the patron against temptation) and don’t forget to have it blessed.
Is there anything in either of your homes that may lead you into sin? Pornography magazines, “toys” for self-gratification, that sort of thing. If you do, DESTROY it. Don’t just throw it away. Throw it into a fire. Shred it directly into the trash can. Do either of you access pornography using your computer? Clean it up. Clear anything you’ve saved to your hard drive. Install some sort of filter and hold each others’ passwords. Covenant Eyes is a program that filters AND reports your searches: You choose an ‘accountability partner’ and this person will receive a weekly report showing what you have done. You can’t go to an ‘adult’ site and then clear your history: if you go there, it’s on the report.
If there is no pornography involved, GOOD, you’re a step ahead.
Is he frequenting confession? He should confess this every.single.time and if he hasn’t struggled with is but is tempted, might as well confess that too. I don’t say this to shame him but a good priest will be able to give him advice in the confessional on fighting those temptations.
St. Josemaria Escriva said “In prayer, do not ask for consolation (but thank God if He gives it to you!). Pray for perseverance.” Pray for this CONSTANTLY. Make it habit to ask for strength in fighting temptation. Pray your Rosary daily, either together or on your own. If you’re not already praying the Rosary daily, you will be amazed at how this pious act will lend to an increase in your faith as well as perseverance against temptation.
Is there a certain room in your home where you tend to go for self-gratification? Hang a crucifix. Put holy cards on your night stand. Find a picture of the Blessed Virgin. Pray for her to stand by you and help you.
Maybe it will help you to reflect, when you feel tempted to sin, on marrying this man and entering into the marriage as pure as you can be. You can give yourself meaningless, short-lived pleasure that ends with tremendous guilt and a heavy heart. But the loving embrace of marriage is so much more than that in so many ways. Don’t let that moment be spoiled by giving in to this sin.
I hope that is helpful in some way. My husband has struggled for years with temptation to view pornography and he is three months “clean,” but the temptations haven’t gone away. I don’t think they ever will. We will carry our crosses until we die, but in carrying our cross, we unite our suffering with the suffering of Christ, and grow in holiness. You and your boyfriend can do this but only with God’s help, so rely on HIM, not your own strength. I will pray for both of you. And yes, our spouses can help us get to Heaven, whether they are a holy spouse or not…some spouses help us get to Heaven because we are so patient with their wretchedness that our patience makes us a saint. I don’t see that happening with you and your boyfriend of course. May God strengthen you and Our Lady intercede for you.