Brand Spanking New Relationship


#1

I work for an ambulance company and I am frequently in the hospital. Well I met one of the admission clerks about 4-5 weeks ago. She was engaged to someone who was working for my company and were together 1.5 years. She talked a lot about how she was so unhappy and her co-workers, friends, and family all knew it. Even her fiance knew it. Well she was on the outs with him and we started talking a lot. She eventually broke up with him and now we are dating. She never cheated on him with me nor anything else, only talked.

Obviously the warning of a rebound relationship is heeded but considering the fact that she has been unhappy for so long, I would think that it may not apply here in such a strong fashion. She is sweet and caring and wants to goto Mass with me (she is Baptist). When talking about the old relationship she doesn’t really bad mouth him just says that it is nice to actually feel wanted now. Am I worrying too much or just being cautious?

Dxu


#2

Being cautious and thinking things through enough to worry can actually be good qualities – so don’t worry about that. :wink:

As to your new friend, because both of you have recently been in serious relationships, it probably would be wise to take it slow and not dive head-first into a romance. Try as much as possible to stay in the “just friends” and “getting to know each other” mode for a good while. If you do end up getting serious, then this friendship will serve as a good foundation for you both. It is really sweet that she feels wanted and that you are good at showing your appreciation for her in that way. Just go slow with the romantic aspect. That’s my advice anyhow, not that I have tons of dating or relationship experience though.


#3

Sometimes you can’t control when a relationship springs up ( and you both seem to be in the clear from any moral aspects ).

This is the exciting part of a relationship! Brand spanking new. Enjoy it! Get to know each other better. Sounds like it is a great thing that she realised she wasn’t with the right guy, before she got married.

You might have that same feeling that people who are with cheaters get, where you might wonder if a year into your relationship, she is secretly unhappy and not really telling you, and talking to some other guy… but that would be the worst thing I could think of. I doubt she is serial. That is just my ramblings on your situation, helpful or not.

:shrug:


#4

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being cautious, but there is also nothing wrong with enjoying each other’s company and getting to know each other better. :thumbsup:

This is very similar to how DH and I ended up together. I was dating another guy, who was not treating me with great respect. My (now) DH and I had been friends for a while, and he knew my boyfriend and the whole dating situation. So when boyfriend and I broke up, I went straight to DH to talk about things. We started hanging out together all the time… I met his family, he met my family, etc. We never officially “dated” in the normal sense… we never sat down and decided that we would see each other exclusively or any such thing. Two years after the breakup with my old boyfriend, my DH proposed, and another year after that we were married! :smiley:

So, just because it is a “rebound” relationship doesn’t mean that it can’t be a great one!


#5

The next anniversary my wife and I celebrate will be our 40th. She wasn’t the first lady I proposed to, and I wasn’t the first man to propose to her. So I guess we demonstrate that it isn’t necessary to marry the first person of interest to partake in the blessings of Holy Matrimony.

That said, caution is always wise, so go with that. It’s always indicated, and in some cases (perhaps this one?) the indication is just more evident than other times.

And besides, a good thing shouldn’t be rushed. We don’t guzzle down a fine wine or brandy, or gobble up a fine entree in one gulp. There’s much to be said for unrushed savouring.

Blessings,

Gerry


#6

My inlaws met when both were engaged to other people. They both worked in a hospital! They will be celebrating their 45th wedding anniversary.


#7

My only warning would be about your relationship with your coworker. Knowing a few paramedics myself, I have witnessed that sometimes the male ego gets in the way. How is he taking you two dating?


closed #8

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