My college age neice broke up from a longterm boyfriend that seemed slated for marriage and included live-in time. This is not my lifestyle choice but her parents did not disapprove and no one asked my opinion. (She is a sensible and smart girl living the norms of our culture). I feel bad for her. I would like to give her some kind of consolation care package, to say: I know how you feel, and I feel bad you feel bad… Any ideas?
Get her the book “The Thrill of The Chaste” - now is the time she can embrace a new style of life, include a big box of chocolates.
I will read up on that. I have been debating giving her something on chasity. Maybe it will be easier now that she has to be chaste for now and it won’t be a direct criticism of her current life asit would have been before.
Chocolate woudl be very good for the gift basket too.
I would wait to give her something on chastity. It is too soon, and it might make her feel as though you are criticizing her past choices and are telling her that the break up is a good thing because she wasn’t chaste before but now can be.
I would just go with a big box of chocolates for now.
A note or a card letting her know you love her and are thinking about her is probably the most important thing. Flowers might be nice, or a gift certificate to a spa to get a massage or have a manicure or pedicure might be a nice treat to help her realx and feel better. I think girls like those kinds of things.
There is a beautiful . . . gentle . . . very simple but profound . . . inspiring little classic devotional book that our Catholic bookstore can’t keep in stock it’s so popular . . . it’s titled . . . God Calling . . . **by Two Listeners edited by A. J. Russell **. . . it was given to me by a little widow in her twenties with four children . . . who was a teacher in our church’s school . . . whose husband had been killed in a car crash . . . Over the years I’ve run into multitudes of people who absolutely love the book . . . all over the country . . . and all over the world . . . it’s sold millions of copies . . . I’ve used it as a devotional book for over thirty years now . . . *it just never grows old . . . and is full of light, love and comfort . . . *
You might also tuck in a lovely little Rosary and a prayer book that explains how to pray the Rosary . . . and picture prayer cards of Saints are lovely to give as gifts also . . . tucked into passages . . . like the 23rd Psalm . . . and the . . . Our Father . . . in a Revised Standard Version - Catholic Edition (RSV-CE) version of the Holy :bible1: Bible for her . . . Our Catholic hospital gift shop here in town has some marvelous little prayer cards with both pictures and inspirational sayings which they keep in stock . . . a picture is often definitely worth more than a thousand words . . . or a short little inspirational saying . . . all this can be used of our Wonderful Lord to gain some access to her life . . . through such a thoughtful comforting little gift basket such as you are preparing . . .
Along with the chocolates, most people love packs of salted nuts, mini-bags of buttered popcorn for the microwave, peppermint pillows candy, lemon drop candies, home baked cookies, little jars of jams, . . . *comfort foods . . . *
May God tenderly bless your niece . . . and draw her unto Himself . . . *as she finds her way through this time of suffering and loss . . . *
And may God bless you for wanting to help . . .
[RIGHT]. . . all for Jesus+
. . . Holy Mary Mother of God+
. . . guide, direct and protect+
. . . thank you Holy Mother+[/RIGHT]
I also agree with waiting until later to giving her something about chasity. I’ve been through several breakups, and something about chasity would be interpreted as rubbing salt in the wound. When she is emoitionally fragile, chasity is like saying “you aren’t getting anymore now HA HA HA” would be too much too handle.
My suggestions would be: anything alcohol based, chocolate, cheesy movies, massages, pedicure/manicures, or a gift certificate to a favorite store.
I agree with this. I had a broken engagement the week before the wedding…a long, long time ago. The most comforting thing I received was a note from the priest who was going to marry us. He simply said “I am praying for you during this difficult time.” Of course, you could write something much more personal that might be of comfort, but even knowing that someone is remembering you in prayer when you feel so alone really helps.
*How about a pedicure/manicure, something to have her feel a little pampered for an afternoon? *
I noticed Thomas that you reply in a very thoughtful way, and a man to suggest a spa treatment or manicure? You are alright in my book. ;)
Thanks you so much for these good ideas. I love gift basket ideas and a manicure/pedicure does sound like somehitng I should look into. I have actually never had one! But I think she would like it.
Now, the Thrill of the Chaste - when I saw the subtitle about “Keeping your Clothes On” I realized that is too much in-your-face and will sound like direct criticism at a very wrong time for that. But I read the reviews, and it sounds like just the thing for her. So, later for that.
The God Calling book looks good. I checked out the website. It made me wonder if the volumes or booklets from Anne at Direction For Our Times would not be just as good. I love their timeliness. But of course everythng Our Lord says is timeless.)
If you don’t know about these, be blessed: you can read about this at www.directionforourtimes.com . You will see that Anne not only has permisssion from her Bishop to write and desseminate these works but her Bishop has assigned a fulltime Priest to oversee it and everythng is submitted to the Vatican.
You can read the booklets and the volumes free online there (click on the moving book icon on the homepage), which are wonderful. And the books, Mist of Mercy - with Anne’s visions of Purgatory, and Climbing the Mountain, her visions of Heaven - are heavenly! I think you can read excerpts there at that site too.] Those books have so blessed me and its time to get back to them.