[quote="sarahrcouturier, post:14, topic:240306"]
I will first state that I'm close enough to her to be in her wedding, not just invited to it. That being said, she's been living states away and working on her degree. I have met her fiance two or three times, but not given a chance to get to know him. I guess it might be rude of me to try to teach someone about their faith - I guess it's because I wish someone would have taught me about it sooner! Maybe mother's shouldn't ever buy their daughters a negligee for their shower, but they do that too!
She is contracepting and will continue to do so.
I have asked her before about going to church while she is away at school, so I asked recently if she has started to attend yet. She didn't answer, instead she chose to tell me they weren't even going to learn about NFP, which I had NOT asked about. I chose not to ask them the specifics of why because I thought that would actually be stepping into their bedroom and rude.
It actually sounds like many of you could benefit from the Theology of the Body and other items that Christopher West presents in 'Good news about sex and marriage.'
I do know that I feel even her priest has shortchanged her, all of her marriage prep was done in "an afternoon".
In order for a marriage to be validly established spouses must: (#4) "consent to what the Church intends by marriage, that is: fidelity, indissolubility, and openness to children."
Openness to children only part of the time is like saying I will only be faithful to my husband part of the time. Neither one really works in my book, it's "I do" or "I do not". Not using NFP isn't a sin, but contracepting is, even if millions of people do it.
NFP classes don't just teach how to, but they also teach the background and the theology behind why the Catholic Church is morally against contraception.
I will also say that I became her friend by being a voice of reason for her amidst the chaos of society. I will also say that I used to be a cafeteria style Catholic and I wish someone would have taught me why the Church held it's belief's. My life has been a lot better since I got "onboard".
So, if it's rude and inconsiderate to help a friend try to make healthy and informed major decision in her life. I'm guilty, but you won't see me apologizing for it, I see it as my duty. So yes, she might be nearly the same person I told that I would be in her wedding, but I am not the person I was then.
If it really would be against your conscience to be a bridesmaid then, you shouldn't be. Perhaps you could just go to the wedding as a guest instead. I'm not saying that I agree with what she is doing, but I really do think that it is between her and her husband to be, and puzzleannie is right on by saying the only other person who should be involved is the priest.
You barely even know her fiance and you're already talking about them getting an annulment and making judgments about their openness to children. I understand your concern for her and your wish that she understood the Church's teaching in its fullness, but I do think it's overstepping bounds by trying to be her "voice of reason". She has free will and if you wish to remain a positive example in her life, you'll need to lead by example and not involve yourself in decisions that are between her and her future husband. I don't think it's wrong for you to decide that you can't, in good conscience, be a bridesmaid, but if you decide that you may end up having to let the friendship go.