Bringing family to Mass


Hi all, new member here and joined to continue my learning and exploring of the Catholic Church. Without making a terribly long post I’ll give a little background. I’m in my mid 30’s and was raised catholic until about 12 when my parents had a falling out with our local priest so we just simply stopped going. I went through first communion but never confirmation. Fast forward me and my wife have a nine year old and have bounced from church to church the last few years trying to find a fit. The last year we’ve been members of a Lutheran church, but I find myself more and more drawn to the teachings of the Catholic Church. With all that in mind, I want to start bringing my family to mass in an effort to possibly start a transition leading to RCIA for me and the wife. My question is, in the opinion of folks here should we try going to both churches at the same time or drop one completely. My worry is if bringing my family to the church fails we would lose our current church too. Any opinions are appreciated.


Focus on one church. It’s too confusing if you go to different religions at the same time. They can be very conflicting too, in theology.
You were baptised Catholic, so you are Catholic.
Welcome home!
What was your wife raised?


She was raised Methodist. We chose a Lutheran Church because it seemed like a good compromise after our son was born. We didn’t really discuss religion before that (I know bad).


Not good or bad, just the way it was. With you being drawn back to the Catholic faith, it is time to discuss this with your spouse. In my opinion, bringing your family to Mass and to services at another church can cause confusion among your children.


We do discuss it often but because of the misinformation she’s been taught it’s like ice skating uphill sometimes.


Sounds like you’re going to have to take this more slowly than “hey, let’s start going to mass.”

Rather than focusing on mass attendance, perhaps you could look into RCIA classes, so you and your wife (and child) could learn more about the faith. Your wife could ask her difficult questions there and see what she thinks about the answers.

Being in RCIA does not mean you are making a promise to convert. It’s a class to learn more about Catholicism.

Not all RCIA classes are created equal. Pray that the Holy Spirit guides you to the parish that will have leaders who will help you and your family on this journey.

God bless you!


Can you attend RCIA without actively attending mass? I will definitely need to spend time discussing all this with the parish priest but just curious everyone’s thoughts.


We went to both churches for a time. It quickly became cumbersome. We now strictly go to mass together.


Yes you/she can and also without obligation to join the Catholic church. You can attend strictly for information only.



My experience with RCIA with a couple friends (and this was over 20 years ago!) was that there is no requirement of mass attendance to attend RCIA classes. Not everyone who attends has the intention to convert. Some, like a friend of mine from college, just want to learn about Catholicism.

Definitely make that appointment and talk with a priest about your thoughts, your concerns, and so on. And keep your wife completely in the loop about all this. Maybe she would like to meet with the priest with you.

God bless you.


We discuss the Mass readings during RCIA, so it would be helpful. This is a question for your Priest. Often, the Mass experience brings up questions, too.


I was actually baptized Lutheran. Dad was Lutheran mom was Catholic. Not sure if that changes anything really.


I would ask your wife and son what their preferences are and go from there.


I certainly have asked. We have very open discussions. Because of so much false claims she was taught as a kid I spend most of the time correcting misinformation. I think exposure to mass and RCIA would be beneficial for all of us.


I guess I would just suggest that you be careful about honoring your wife’s preference. Because you wish to return to the Catholic Church, doesn’t mean that she is on board with that and she shouldn’t feel pressure from you to do so. It is wonderful to go to church as a family. I would just not want to see resentment built up on behalf of the spouse because decisions are being made for her by someone else.


You can always come back to the Catholic Church. I would imagine the Lutherans feel the same way. And the Methodists.

While I’m catholic and would love for you to be catholic since she was Methodist why not check out both the Methodist and Catholic Churches. What churches are in your area? Have the kids made any commitments to Christ? Does the 9 year old feel she is part of a church already? Perhaps you have already done your church shopping?

Ascension presents has some lovely you tube videos, there is also EWTN. Ascension presents does videos on topics. You might want to see the list and if some peek your interest? You can find information out without feeling you are bothering someone or teasing some church that you are going to commit. Just make sure with the internet or tv that it’s the catholic perspective from an actual catholic. What others think of us!


Get yourself a subscription, begin watching “Symbalon” with your wife.


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