Broke Up With Non-Catholic Boyfriend


#21

Wow good for you! It seems like today, girls are compromising themselves for men in so many ways...you really have set yourself apart by realizing your faith was more important than having a boyfriend. Keep praying for your ex-boyfriend too…you never quite know what God has in store for him and how you may have been a part of it.


#22

What does “cute, wealthy and likes bigger girls” have to do with the values required to raise a family? What you need is faithful Catholic, faithful friend, faithful partner, will work hard to support you (wealthy or not), puts Gods and then your needs before his own and loves childeren.

Keep your chin up! God will pair you with the perfect person.


#23

I know this must be painful, but from reading some of your prior posts I think you did the right thing. I'm not someone who thinks Catholics can/should only marry other Catholics (I didn't do that myself). But I do think it's important to find someone who accepts and respects the role your faith plays in your life, and is willing to support you in your faith even if they do not share it. It doesn't seem like you had that with this guy.


#24

Hey, CS. You are definitely not a complete moron. In fact, not a moron at all. You made your decision either on reasonable premises or on a positive emotion towards your faith and I see neither of those as a moron's motivation. You were brave--many people don't have the strength and suffer later.

Once a non-religious girl (but kind and a good friend) broke up with me saying I wouldn't be happy with her, nor she with me, arguments about what to tell the children or telling them each a different thing would drive us apart and we'd be unhappy. She had a lot of point. In your case, you broke up with the guy, but similar, except more intense results could or would have occurred later, as he was rather vocally hostile to the Church from what I can understand. You can't be with someone who hates what you love. Given some events from your history that you have relayed somewhere here but I won't be bringing up now, this should be especially understandable to you. :)

A break-up is not a joyful event for sure. You aren't happy, you aren't partying for it. You have experienced a loss. But you will live and the future is yet ahead of you.

[quote="dakotagirl, post:20, topic:185403"]
Heh. You sound like my sister. I told her once that this guy from my church was out of my league, and she reacted like I had just said I smoked crack. Good advice here, lady! :thumbsup:

[/quote]

Leagues are stoopid. Sometimes people can't find a mate because their league is rated so highly by others. Then they're doomed to stick with whomever comes along.


#25

[quote="CountrySinger, post:1, topic:185403"]
Hey all,
As some of you know, I was dating a man who was a non-practicing Catholic (he considered himself non-Denomentional). Well, last night we broke up. It was the first time I ever broke up with somebody (normally they reject me). Most of my friends think I did a very stupid thing. One of them said "he's cute, wealthy, and likes bigger girls, and you gave that up?!" I know he was too good for me, but I knew we couldn't work long term, he has a lot of anger toward the Catholic church in general. :( But I still feel at peace somewhat (I mean, we were talking about getting married, and I'm DESPERATE to get married) about it (I'm not drinking I swear), just listening to Brad Paisley (minus the sappy songs), and petting my cats. I guess I wanted to air it out to people who wouldn't think I was a complete moron.

[/quote]

CS~
Girl, I am so proud of you right now! :hug1: I have had to make the same choice because of faith! So worth it in the end....
I know it does not feel like it, but I know you will find someone like that who is faithful as well...
and you seem so calm about it! I am so proud!:tiphat: I think I said that already...(I need more expresso! )
Love ya hun! And praying you meet the right one!


#26

[quote="dakotagirl, post:17, topic:185403"]
Welcome back, pretty lady. :hug1: There was a certain humor component missing from the singles club for a while. :p Don't listen to your friends on this...wait for that special Catholic man and you will make an awesome Catholic wife. :)

[/quote]

Agreed on the humor part...we missed you!


#27

Thank you for all your kind words! :) I went out with one my new friends (not one who has made any negative remarks, unless offering to TP his house is negative). :p She offered to set me up with some of her male friends, but I think I will take a break from dating for a little bit. Unless a mix of Brad Paisley, James Marsden, and Elliott Yamin falls from Heaven. :p I think I have a type: short brunette singers. :p

Believe me, I'm not very calm, I just try to write somewhat coherently. And I have to laugh, otherwise I'd cry. :eek:


#28

[quote="CountrySinger, post:9, topic:185403"]
But one my cats did scratch him. :p

[/quote]

Kitties are very good at judging character. Sounds like you made the right decision. :)


#29

Er, I wouldn’t diss CS’s taste. Obviously, she knows that this guy wasn’t good for her, or she wouldn’t have broken up with him. But all the above are also important. Cute: ummm, if she doesn’t think she’s cute, she has no business taking up the time of a man she is not attracted to. Likes bigger girls: if a guy doesn’t like the way a girl looks, he won’t be caught dead with her, so the question is moot. Wealthy: this doesn’t mean CS means he drives a Ferrari. Wealth is sooo crazy relative. It may just mean he has the basics covered and some extra cash to play with on the weekends. It may mean she gets to go shopping on his dime. Heck, my own health is such that I may be bowing to time honored tradition myself and marrying for money. (Although if we are TOO poor, I absolutely refuse to make any children. If he thinks he can have my body, my service, AND get kids out of the deal while having a cruddy bank account balance, he’s got another think coming). Good job, CS; find yourself a cute, wealthy dude who appreciates you, and also happens to be favorable toward Catholicism. :thumbsup:


#30

Forget cookies - Ben and Jerry's lots of girlfriends and make fun of him for a whole night straight. :p It will make you feel good.

BTW- I heard Chevalier is still single. J/K Well, unless you like lawyers LOL

You did the right thing - now get thee to a church to find your next victim I mean boyfriend :D.

Sounds like your cat knew what to do.


#31

My response was to:

“my friends said what is wrong with you, he’s cute…

I’m pointing out that her friends are focusing on the wrong things as being of primary importance. I’m reaffirming her decission to break up with this man, over his refusal to accept her faith in Jesus Christ through the Catholic Church. Because ultimitaly it is that part, which is most important. What is cute, wealthy and “likes bigger girls” worth? If the man can’t respect her faith in Christ? Which incidently, also shows that because he can’t accept her Catholic Faith (in Christ), he also is having issues respecting and accepting her.

Does that sound like a marriage waiting to happen to you? It doesn’t to me. There for I stand by my statements, applauding her for making the right choice.


#32

Just to clarify, I wasn't dating him because he was "cute and wealthy". I don't check bank statements.

As for the "bigger girls", no guy would want to date a fat girl, unless he was attracted to her. And few are attracted to girls like me. :( I'm the one who has tons of guy friends (I think I have more guys than girls in my phone). I've come to peace with that. :p
My qualifications are :
*Has pulse
*Born male
*Has a sense of humor
*Catholic

:D Not to hard to impress me. I'm not the greatest looking person, so I can't expect to date a hearthrob. I'm not rich, so I can't expect to date Bill Gates shudders :p But I'm Catholic, so I can expect to date a Catholic man, right? Or else I'll have to resort to plan B (tranq gun, rope, pickup truck, nearest church, and a priest who will perform a marriage on a passed out man). :D


#33

[quote="crazzeto, post:31, topic:185403"]
My response was to:

"my friends said what is wrong with you, he's cute...."

I'm pointing out that her friends are focusing on the wrong things as being of primary importance. I'm reaffirming her decission to break up with this man, over his refusal to accept her faith in Jesus Christ through the Catholic Church. Because ultimitaly it is that part, which is most important. What is cute, wealthy and "likes bigger girls" worth? If the man can't respect her faith in Christ? Which incidently, also shows that because he can't accept her Catholic Faith (in Christ), he also is having issues respecting and accepting her.

Does that sound like a marriage waiting to happen to you? It doesn't to me. There for I stand by my statements, applauding her for making the right choice.

[/quote]

Oh, ok dear. I think we're in more agreement than I thought, then.

Country: you said "rope" and I thought "lasso". Do you perchance know how that works? If we ladies could learn to throw a good lasso, tranq guns would not even be needed. I'm just trying to think practically here, like I always do.


#34

[quote="dakotagirl, post:33, topic:185403"]
Oh, ok dear. I think we're in more agreement than I thought, then.

Country: you said "rope" and I thought "lasso". Do you perchance know how that works? If we ladies could learn to throw a good lasso, tranq guns would not even be needed. I'm just trying to think practically here, like I always do.

[/quote]

Yeah, you could lasso a man, but he would still be able to talk. And you can't have him interrupting the wedding ceremony. Tranq gun, and then hog tie the guy! I gotta brush up of those skills. Now where are my cats so I can practice? cats look from under bed :D


#35

Or else I'll have to resort to plan B (tranq gun, rope, pickup truck, nearest church, and a priest who will perform a marriage on a passed out man).

I think that may be grounds for annullment later............:shrug::blush:


#36

[quote="Cajun_Girl, post:28, topic:185403"]
Kitties are very good at judging character. Sounds like you made the right decision. :)

[/quote]

True~ My cat HATED my ex...never let him anywhere near me with out trying to interrupt! Should have taken the hint...:rolleyes:


#37

Very true. If he shouted something like “I object” during the wedding ceremony, that could unsettle the priest. They’re a little neurotic about technicalities like “consent”, I hear.


#38

CS! :tsktsk: Please…don’t go down the self deprication road again. You don’t need a tranquilizer gun, or a lasso…and he needs way more than a pulse. (I know you’re kidding, but still…) You are lovable…you will find the right man, and you don’t have to settle. Remember this. Don’t let this bump in the road unnerve you. I say this out of love, I hope ya know. :slight_smile:


#39

:wink:

Hear, hear!

I say it out of observation, not love (sorry, I’m not there with you yet-give me a couple more hours :wink: )

Remember my first response? He likes “bigger” girls? That actually bugged me for a bit this week. Remember that “size” is irrelevant! He should like you because your YOU.


#40

But as a “bigger girl” I’m not seen as attractive. I get told all the time that I have a pretty face, if I were thinner, I’d have to beat the guys off with a stick.
I’ve had guys (including a Catholic one who posts here on CAF) go poof once they see what I weigh, so I apoloigize if I seem sensitive about it. And when I find a guy who is willing to look past it, it’s amazing! :slight_smile:


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