I am new to this forum. I am a 31 year old man and right now I feel my faith is being tested more than ever. I learned this week that marriage is pretty much over.
To give you some background information, I have been with the same woman for half my life. We began dating in high school and got married 6 years ago. We have a beautiful five year old daughter.
We spent many happy years together, but shortly after our daughter was born, our relationship began deteriorating. We fought constantly, especially on petty trivial things. Resentment grew and even though we continued to love one another, love was no longer enough.
My wife had a burnout at work in 2010 and was forced to take time off work and this put a huge strain on our marriage. I was scared and probably not as supportive as I should have been. The following year I had a major accident where I was brought back to life through medical intervention. Again, this tested my faith as well as our marriage.
This year started off well. After fully recovering from my accident, my wife and I began living healthier and lost all kinds of weight. Things were looking up. However, she began going out partying more and getting the attention of other men. As I tired my best to convince her this was unhealthy for our marriage, tensions grew, anger grew, and she became more and more withdrawn. Eventually, we began seeking couples counseling in September, but by then it was too late. I feel had we gone for counseling years ago, we would not be where we are today. After moving out, our counselor did not see the reason to continue therapy if she was not engaged in improving the relationship.
In September, she decided she wanted to move out, to figure herself out and what she wanted. Around this time, I noticed she began becoming closer to a male friend of mine who was also going through a broken relationship. We confided into one another over many beers, as men usually do.
Although we were “separated” I still held onto the idea that we would somehow get back together. Christmas morning, I learned that her and my “friend” are now together, that she has been physically intimate with him. I’m devastated, hurt, betrayed and confused. All signs are pointing to divorce. She does not love me anymore, she is no longer the same person I married. But I have a hard time going forward.
I am meeting the priest of my parish tomorrow morning for comfort. I need strength not for my self, but for my daughter. All I can think about is my wife with another man, his arms around her instead of mine. I have become obsessed with these ideas and images that I am making myself sick. I need to be well for my daughter, but I cannot put myself past these my own feelings.
I am desperately reaching out to God and crying out for help. Your help and advice on how to handle this horrible situation is appreciated. Thank you my brothers and sisters.