Brokenhearted


#1

I’ve been struggling to get over a young Christian man I’ve met over a year ago. At first, everything seems perfect. He may not be Catholic, but I thought he was fascinating. For one, he used to work for his church at the time and I remember him saying he used to help with Sunday school or something like that. :slight_smile: And he is also incredibly smart and so easy to talk to. I was sure that I was falling in love with him, and I thought he was falling for me. Then after a petty argument a month and half after meeting each other, we started drifting apart. He began to talk about another girl–how he wants to be with her and how their families would get along with each other. He further states that because although he has this huge house, but little money, and she comes from a moderately wealthy family that the match would be practical and the best. My heart was beginning to break when I heard this. Then after this girl, he began to talk about another girl–another Christian woman he used to work with at his church–and remarked about how great her personality is. Then there was another girl… With each girl, I began to feel inadequate. I felt less intelligent, uglier, and a less than average girl.

And though a part of him want these other girls, he continues to lead me on. I remember how much he would tell me how much he adores me before these girls came along. But when the girl number one Kathryn came along, he began to isolate his heart away from me. I could feel him growing more distant, and I think I was too. I was scared to show how much I care about him. I was afraid that if I do display such feelings, that they wouldn’t return.

Stepping back, I realized he used me. I didn’t lose my virginity in the modern meaning of it, but I did feel that I lost it. I remember trying to stop that part of our relationship/friendship between us. I told him I wanted to be chaste, but he responded that we are both benefiting from this. He’s getting what he wants, and I’m supposedly getting what I want. But it wasn’t that I want, I wanted him. I should have took this a warning, but I overlooked it. It’s only later that I realize what were really his intentions: he only wanted me for his own pleasure, nothing else.

I loved him so much, despite how he used me. I miss how he would rattle off about how much he enjoyed a particular debate or how he tried to budget for a change. I even miss how arrogant he could be–a particular trait that rubs off the wrong way for most people.

Because I’ve met him online, I find it is so hard to discuss this with any my friends in real life. I don’t think they could sympathize with the fact that I fell in love with a guy who lives in the other side of the other world, in Australia.

I have struggled so much to get over him. It’s been about February/March of this year that I tried to move on. At first, I was full of anger, that I directed that anger to him when I still have that contact with him. But then I began to grow more depressed afterwards. I gained a bit of weight, about six or seven pounds. Sometimes I would go days without eating or limit myself to one meal or a day. I became antisocial and I would isolate myself from other people. I hated the thought of growing close to someone and then losing it all again.

And last month (October) I thought I finally got a hold of myself–that I found perfect balance. I’ve been trying to attend as much Daily Masses that I could and getting to know people in my Catholic community. And I remember while I was deepening my faith, I prayed for the guy who broke my heart that one day he would change and that one day he would become the man that God wants him to be. And I asked as I lit a candle for both of us that through the intercession of the Virgin Mary, the Lord would help burn away our pride, our selfishness, and our impurities.

But when I heard something from an acquaintance earlier this month (November 2008), my sense of harmony broke apart. I learned that during the time when he adore me, he was asking another girl lewd things of her. I am depressed all over again and all I want to do is just cry my heart out. I know–well, I thought–that deep down he was a good person, but now I don’t think he is anymore. Now I just see him as a manipulating, deceiving person who can’t be trusted. It hurts. And all I can do is think about him.

Please, please I ask that whoever read this to pray for me. It’s hard for me open up to my friends about this in real life. And I thought this was a great way to be open about things.

Please, Lord. I’m asking that You give me the strength to get over him. Please, help heal this broken heart. You are so great, Lord, while I’m so little. I know, Father, that it is only You who love me infinitely and that You are the only One who can show me how to love like You. Help me to learn how to give myself totally to You and how to have a relationship, so when I finally find the man You intended me to be that I will be capable of having a true, loving relationship based on You, O Lord. I love you Lord and I pray that I would grow in love for You everyday. Amen!

God bless,
Emilliene

And please excuse any typos I had made in this post.


#2

Emilline, Don’t be down about this. God has the perfect guy for you out there somewhere. With God we must wait until He is ready to show us the right path to the love of our lives. I will pray for you as we all know how much a broken heart hurts. This will pass. Keep going to Mass and give your heart to Jesus, He will never let you down.

God Bless you my friend.


#3

Emiline,

I am praying for you. Be glad in the knowledge that God knows what you need and will provide you with not only the man that will be perfect for you but for whom you will be perfect.

God Bless,

Bryan


#4

I pray that you’ll get over this guy who has hurt you badly and that in time you can look back on this and think instead on what you’ve learned from it and not the heartache or pain. God bless you!


#5

Praying for you Emiline…


#6

Hi Emilliene , I’m joining in prayers for you , may Lord give you all the strength you need to get over him , grant you inner peace or bring you a good answer for this hard relationship .
May Lord help him to realize how much you care about him and grant him a conversion of heart .
You try to wait for right one to share your life with , trust God and may blessed Archangel Raphael , patron of happy meetings and relationships , help you to find the worthy one .
God bless and help you through !


#7

I know how much it hurts to try to get over someone who you loved, even when they treated you terribly, I really feel for you and your situation :(. It really does sound like he was just using you.

You sound like a wonderful person and you deserve to be treated far, far better than you have been. I can promise you though that however hard it might seem now, God will help you to get over this, and you’ll end up more happy than you can possibly imagine.

I’ll be praying for you both!


#8

God all wounds and will heal your broken heart.

Going aginst the normal line of montra in church talk this guy was probablly not that somebody he sounds like a total Jerk, and if he was saying lewd things to many girls does not constitute a christian, and neither does treating you the way you did.

You are obviously a woman of faith because you have been going to mass daily and here praying. You are obviously on the right track to getting everything fixed.

I know how difficult it is to get rid of somebody who you had handed yourself on a plate to Im spreaking from experiance.

But the only way to get over one person is to move on to another. If you continue to dwell on your relationship it will only get worse.

May God Rain his most holy blessings upon you, and may the holy spirit invigerate you through all things.

God Bless you and help you on your journey


#9

You will be in my prayers and daily masses.
I ask Jesus to heal you and to find you someone who genuinely loves Him and genuinely loves, and delights, you


#10

Emmilliene,
I pray for your heartache to ease, by Gods loving hand…May he take it all upon his shoulders, as you put your trust in him…God knows who and what you need ,and it wasn’t this dork who only posed as a Christian from the description you gave. It can be soo hard ,when you do have a faithfilled sincere heart to deal with someone so unlike yourself. May you find the love of your life, who will love you totally for yourself…With Warmth & Aloha, LynneMarie


#11

Thank you so much everybody! :slight_smile: You have no idea how grateful I am for your kindheartedness and your consideration. God bless you all!


#12

Dear Emiliene -
God blessed you - not by being hurt by this man - but by saving you from him. It’s obvious he does not respect any woman - and sadly, you too nice enough to have trusted the wrong man.

Put your faith in no man. Place your trust in God. May He heal your heart. May you find peace. And may you follow the path that God has planned for you - whatever that may be.

Dear God, please heal this soul’s heart.


#13

Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen


#14

I’m praying for you too Emilliene!
:signofcross:


closed #15

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.