Brother and sis-in-law not coming for Thanksgiving


#1

My sister-in-law informed my sister last night that she and my brother and their son would not be coming over for Thanksgiving dinner at my sister’s house Thursday. The reason being that the New Orleans Saints play that day and he wanted to stay home to watch it. Low and behold, the game doesn’t start until 3 p.m. Even though we live in the same community, their son went to a private high school and my daughter attended the local public high school so we didn’t get to blend together very much because of this fact. We all lead very separate and different lifestyles. I have never held anything against them for not coming to my daughter’s sporting events or even her high school graduation. I honestly believe my sister-in-law has never liked my family. Last Thanksgiving we had a similiar problem with them coming, but I had a chance to speak to my brother about it and they ended up coming over.

Please pray for my family as my brother is sick with Pulmonry Fibrosis and will need a double lung transplant sooner or later. He is doing well now, but his health could diminish considerably at any given moment.


#2

many prayers for your brother's health.!

as for holiday invites: that's what they are. *invitations. not summons. * people are FREE to accept or reject. people should not have to give explanations.

this baloney happens all the time in my family. my sisters STOPPED calling me years ago to complain about my brother and SIL because i dont care. my repsonse was typically: **is any of this NEW information? no? then why are you surprised?? **

well, for a while the angries turned toward me instead of my SIL because i wouldnt get appropriately mad with the gang. oh boy.

invitations are supposed to be FREE WILL CHOICE.


#3

You are right Monicatholic. I'll look at it from that perspective.

Thanks!


#4

Do you and your extended family members like your brother's wife?

People can sense when they aren't liked and tend to stay if this is the case.


#5

[quote="puppylove, post:1, topic:220431"]
My sister-in-law informed my sister last night that she and my brother and their son would not be coming over for Thanksgiving dinner at my sister's house Thursday. The reason being that the New Orleans Saints play that day and he wanted to stay home to watch it. Low and behold, the game doesn't start until 3 p.m. Even though we live in the same community, their son went to a private high school and my daughter attended the local public high school so we didn't get to blend together very much because of this fact. We all lead very separate and different lifestyles. I have never held anything against them for not coming to my daughter's sporting events or even her high school graduation. I honestly believe my sister-in-law has never liked my family. Last Thanksgiving we had a similiar problem with them coming, but I had a chance to speak to my brother about it and they ended up coming over.

Please pray for my family as my brother is sick with Pulmonry Fibrosis and will need a double lung transplant sooner or later. He is doing well now, but his health could diminish considerably at any given moment.

[/quote]

Is the brother that is not coming to dinner the same brother that has the fibrosis? Having a serious health concern, sometimes the immediate family core needs to draw closer together and having an extended family get together can be very trying emotionally for all involved.

Your post though comes off very resentful of the SIL. I wonder if you have tried with her as much as you expect her to try with you? You say you don't hold a lot against them, but your post sounds quite the opposite.


#6

It is also the case that illness, being draining, can make people feel unlike socializing. It can be exhausting. Such events are always an ordeal for my husband. He even celebrates Christmas events under sufferance.

I hope you have a wonderful and peaceful Thanksgiving.


#7

[quote="m_crane, post:4, topic:220431"]
Do you and your extended family members like your brother's wife?

People can sense when they aren't liked and tend to stay if this is the case.

[/quote]

Definitely. If you or your family doesn't like the SIL - even if you think you've always been polite to her when she's around - she will pick up that she is not truly welcome and she will be very uncomfortable being around you all. If that's the case, it's hard to blame her for staying away. Why would you want to spend what should be a joyful holiday around people you know don't like you?


#8

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