Brother in law died away from the church


My brother in law just died very suddenly and unexpectedly. He was raised Catholic but “came out” in high school and embraced the practise of neo-Shamanism with his “husband”. He recently identified as a “Pagan” although expressed belief in angels. He was a kind and talented person and those who knew him described him as loving and of gentle spirit. I am having a hard time reconciling that he may not be in heaven. Any thoughts???


God is perfectly just and perfectly merciful and he loved your brother in law very much. Pray for his soul and I will too


We don’t know what happens inside people’s souls when they are faced with death. I would leave it to the mercy of God.


There is no way to know his heart at the time of death.

Have Masses said for him, pray for him. Trust God’s mercy.


We can’t be sure of the fate of anyone after death so it’s always important to keep them in our prayers.


I will say a rosary for your brother-in-law.

I am so sorry to hear of his passing.


Please accept my condolences on your loss. I, too, will pray for him.


Do indulgence work for him


First of all, shocked that neo-shamanism even exists. Second, pray/offer a Mass for his soul.


1 Peter 4:17
For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God:
and if it first begin at us,
what shall the end be of them
that obey not the gospel of God?

I’m sorry for your loss - first and foremost. Believe me.

Have you read the book called " Purgatory " by Rev. Fr. F. X. Shouppe S.J. (Author ) ?

How did your brother in law die ? How old was he ?


God will take your brother’s entire life into account, including his kindness, his gentleness, his loving nature, the way he treated others, and any factors that might have influenced him to drift away from the Catholic church.
Pray for his soul as you would for any deceased person. I will pray for him too.

There are plenty of deceased people whose questionable actions, thoughts, life choices simply weren’t visible like your brother-in-law’s. God is kind and merciful to each and every one.


Way to ask personal questions :roll_eyes:

I think the OP’s question can be addressed without us needing to know all the personal family details of how the man passed away.

  1. Why does this matter in terms of the question the OP asked?
  2. Why would it be anyone’s business?


Thank you so much.


Thank you so much for your prayers.


Thanks everyone for answers, thoughts and prayers. I don’t mind answering the questions Seagull… he was 57 and died of a heart attack. It was very quick with attempts to resucitate being futile.


Death - is often a terrible thing. A sudden thing.

" But of that day and hour knoweth no man,
no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.
But as the days of Noah were,
so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.
For as in the days that were before the flood
they were eating and drinking,
marrying and giving in marriage,
until the day that Noe entered into the ark,
And knew not
until the flood came,
and took them all away;
so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.

Then shall two be in the field;
the one shall be taken, and the other left.
Two women shall be grinding at the mill;
the one shall be taken, and the other left.

Watch therefore: for ye know not what hour your Lord doth come.

But know this,
that if the goodman of the house - had known
in what watch - the thief would come,
he would have watched,
and would not have - suffered his house to be broken up.

Therefore be ye also ready:
for in such an hour as ye think not -
the Son of man cometh. "


“Betwixt the stirrup and the ground,
Mercy I ask’d; mercy I found.”

God’s mercy is beyond our understanding & your prayers for your brother will be heard.

I will pray for you both.


If your brother-in-law didn’t repent before he died (only God knows whether he did), then it is highly unlikely that he is in Heaven or purgatory. Moreover, praying would help if you knew he was in purgatory. If he isn’t, then it is too late.

I don’t know if this will comfort you, but I I’ll say anyway. Even hell is an act of mercy by God, because those who reject Him in life would never bare His Glory in Heaven.

Trust in God’s Justice and pray for the living ones you love to convert and/or remain just.


We have a Loving and Merciful Jesus who died for all of us. Your brother-in law- may have made peace with God just by being the kind, loving and gentle spirit you said he was.We will pray for him and remember him and all his family at Mass today. May the Peace and Love of God be with you. God bless you

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