This is LOOOONG, so I’m cutting into 3 posts. Bear with me. I’m VERY upset and I’m all over the map.
So my brother-in-law is divorcing his wife of 16 years whom he has 3 daughters with (15, 6, & 3yrs) plus 2 miscarriages. He is now living in his parents/my in-laws’ swanky guesthouse after stealing his “best friend’s” wife. Thankfully the “best friend” has no children. The best friend/the mistress’ husband moved out of his home so she and my brother-in-law spend all their time in the day under her husband’s roof since he moved out. She doesn’t work & She has no children so i don’t understand why he moved into an apt and allowed her to stay in the house…but that’s not my concern…
Here’s where my frustration lies- with my motherinlaw and father-in-law whom I’ve known since i was a teen. for 22 years to be precise. In a way, they’re like fallen heroes to me. I’m not sure if my frustration is reasonable or if it’s the type of situation where I need to “mind my own business”. My mother & father-in-law law are disappointing me as much as my brother-in-law if not more. They are members of the Holy Family Institute and are really involved with the church and constantly preach about and pray for family unity and peace but always turn a blind eye and/or blame others when one of their adult children does something wrong. It’s always been this way with them— It’s easier to swallow in some situations than others though. The treatment and rejection of my sisterinlaw (my bro in law’s wife) is just too much for me.
The victim shaming and bashing is where I draw the line. They wont even acknowledge his ongoing affair with his best friend’s wife and say “we choose to believe our son” even though there’s a PI report and everyone KNOWS. My narcissistic bro in law is a pathological liar and has always been. His youngest sister was is first victim of his narcissistic emotional abuse. Now his wife is his current victim. He slanders her to try and justify his leaving her. And last year he drove her to depression that got so bad he put her in a mental institution for a week because she wanted to kill herself. She was never depressed or medicated before. NEVER. He gaslighted and projected and verbally and emotionally abused her and lied to her SO MUCH for 2 years that he drove her to want to kill herself. She knew she shouldn’t, so she would go to Mass constantly to try and drown out what she called “dark thoughts” and she would call me to sit with her to keep her from listening to the dark thoughts. Once the children were home from school she’d assure me she wouldn’t hurt herself with the children at home. She’d immediately throw herself into playing a board game with them to distract herself from the dark thoughts and to seem happy for the girls. She’s totally better now. That was back in March and she’s been in weekly therapy since then to make sure she stays healthy. They medicated her too …makes me so mad that a perfectly stable woman and mother is now medicated pretty heavily because her narcissistic husband wanted to break her and taint her image so he could blame his affair on her!